il Page 1182 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Sad Kiwis Are Sad After America Boated Past New Zealand Boats
This is what it looks like when your hobbit-proportioned island nation — which on its best days is still little more than a sheep-infested birthmark on Earth's backside — coughs up the mother of all leads and lets the U ! S ! A ! roar from behind to claim America's Cup, and wouldn't you know it, on ...
America* Wins At Boats
Oracle Team USA, which counts more New Zealanders than Americans among its crew, just beat Emirates Team New Zealand in the 19th and deciding Boat Race To End All Boat Races....
Who Is The Most Pompous Sports Pundit? A Scientific Investigation
Of all the stupid rhetorical plays columnists use—issuing thundering imperatives, positioning their banal opinions as the exact midpoints between varieties of unyielding madness, championing their cronies' worthless businesses as examples of the disciplinary power of markets, etc. etc.—the funniest ...
Jeremy Hill Is A Beast. Does His Past Matter? 125 FBS Teams, Ranked.
Each week during college football season we put the conventional polls to shame by ranking every FBS team from 1-125, by whatever standard we see fit. Last week's rankings were not consulted....
What's The Deal With The America's Cup? An Explainer
Don't be ashamed if the America's Cup, just hours away from completion, is only now popping up on your radar. This has been the longest, strangest, most controversial edition in the event's 162-year history. Here are answers to your most pressing questions so you can watch the final race like a pro....
NFL Films Tackles Eric Berry's Crippling Fear Of Horses
We learned last year that Chiefs safety Eric Berry suffered from equinophobia—a terrible, irrational fear of horses. Naturally, Berry plays for the team that has a horse run across the field after each touchdown. But where does Berry's fear come from?...
Something Terrible Is About To Happen
There, in the upper-left-hand corner of the screen. Behind the goal and a step to the left. The videotape is probably a copy of a copy of a copy, as grainy as a Navajo sand painting. A hockey game. The camera pans too fast, too slow, chasing knots of players back and forth across the ice. Medium wid...
De-Pantsing Is Soccer's Most Effective Defensive Strategy
Late in the first half of today's <del>Premier League</del> match between Aston Villa and Tottenham, Villa's Nick Helenius beat his defender and made a dangerous run towards Tottenham's goal. That's when Jan Vertonghen decided that desperate times called for desperate measures, and stopped Helenius...
Craig James Is A Christian Martyr, According To Craig James
After a disastrous senate run, Craig James landed himself a gig at Fox Sports Southwest—for all of one show before being dumped. Officially, the higher-ups at Fox were caught by surprise by the regional network’s hire of the all-around toxic James, and he was tossed out before any deal was official....
Why <em>SI</em>'s Oklahoma State Series Sucked: The Inside Story
On Wednesday, Aug. 28, Sports Illustrated senior writer George Dohrmann placed a phone call to Oklahoma State's public relations office. He said that the magazine was about to publish a series of stories about what he characterized as "disturbing allegations" involving the OSU football program. An i...
Ryan Braun Taken Off Cover Of <em>Jewish Sports Stars</em> Book
Worse than losing $3.4 million in salary, worse than having his name taken off a chain of sports bars, worse than the besmirching of his Affliction-lite clothing brand, Ryan Braun has lost the cover of a kids' book about Jewish athletes....
Here's A Dude Shooting An Elephant In The Face On NBC Sports Network
What is this shit? For some reason, NBC Sports Network has been airing an NRA-sponsored hunting show called Under Wild Skies, on which gun-humping NRA lobbyist Tony Makris shoots elephants in the face....
Vikings Owners Must Pay $85 Million For "Organized Crime-Type" Fraud
The owners of the Minnesota Vikings were ordered to pay nearly $85 million in damages to former business partners they defrauded with "evil motive", and will face a criminal investigation into their actions, which a judge declared violated racketeering laws. There's a chance this ruling could hold u...
The Broncos' Running Backs Played Rock-Paper-Scissors For A Touchdown
Denver's tailback Cerberus seemingly exists only to screw fantasy teams. It can seem like carries are decided by a game of chance. But that'd be ludicrous, right?...
Rick Reilly's Dumb Vuvuzela Joke, Explained
Reader Freddie writes in:...
Sam Gagner's Broken Jaw Is Grotesque
Dear lord, Sam Gagner, what happened to your face?! Oh right, Zack Kassian's stick....
Bow Down To The Hoop Queens
Earlier this year Skip Hollandsworth wrote a story for Texas Monthly on the most dominant team in the history of women's college basketball. It's worth your time:...
A Scene From A Bill Belichick Press Conference
Getting injury information out of Bill Belichick is like pulling teeth. Today was especially excruciating....
Mila Kunis And Ashton Kutcher Photobomb Steelers Owner Dan Rooney
Before last night's kickoff at Heinz Field, the Chicago Tribune's Brian Cassella caught a couple of Hollywood types—Bears fan Ashton Kutcher and his girlfriend, Mila Kunis—photobombing 81-year-old Steelers chairman Dan Rooney. This is what 0-3 looks like, Pittsburgh....
The NFC East Is The Worst Division In Football
Before the season, the NFC East was tapped as one of the most wide-open, unpredictable divisions. That assessment may still hold true—with the possible exception of the Cowboys, the NFC East is a Superfund site, its four constituents 1-7 outside the division....