il Page 1288 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Bills 35, Chiefs 17: The Game In One GIF
Did you guys see this from Tuesday? Via Reddit:...

Arkansas' Season-Long Nightmare Is In Full Swing
Against Arkansas today, Alabama covered the over (51 points) without allowing Arkansas to score. This is a difficult thing to accomplish. Vegas didn't see it coming - the last line I saw was Arkansas +20.5 - but at least two Razorbacks fans knew this one was going to be the college football equivale...

Deadspin's Sign Of The Apocalypse
For nearly two decades now, Sports Illustrated has stirred the tea leaves to discern a weekly Sign of the Apocalypse. Deadspin salutes the magazine's ongoing effort to head off the end of times, but declines to quietly cede to SI the scoop on the biggest event in world history....

Ozzie Guillen Thinks ESPN's Buster Olney Is "Full Of Shit"
Today ESPN's Buster Olney published this (Insider-only) post questioning whether the Marlins' not meeting attendance projections could be blamed on Ozzie Guillen (and not, say, the team's utterly disappointing performance this year). Olney even opened the door for Guillen to be fired after the seas...

Bill Simmons Said Something About "Biggest Boners" On <em>PTI</em> Today, So Here's Four Minutes Of Him Saying It
It's Friday, and we can't think of any better way to spark the weekend than pouring a stiff drink, relaxing into a thick, comfortable chair, and engorging your ears by playing this recording of Bill Simmons repeatedly saying the word "boners." It's the perfect way to relax after a long, hard week....

Cockblocked By An Anal Fistula!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Toronto Film Festival: In Praise Of The Shamelessly Trashy <em>Spring Breakers</em>
For the past week, Grierson has been at the Toronto Film Festival seeing the movies we're all going to be talking about for the next few months. Today is his second of two dispatches....

Dead Letters: "Do I Look Like A Fucking Hipster, You Dysfunctional Shit Noodle????"
Subject: Full Disclousre:...

Kid's Sign At Phillies Game: "If I Can Beat Cancer, You Can Beat The Astros"
This year's Astros team has drawn plenty of unfavorable comparisons, but now we finally can add one worse than the '62 Mets to the list: childhood cancer. A kid at last night's Philly-Houston game was spotted holding the above sign, which, considering the incredible strength required for a child to ...

Giants Coordinator Kevin Gilbride Accidentally Murdered His Own Mustache
It's tough to say goodbye to a close friend who suffers an untimely demise. In this case, it's Kevin Gilbride who said sayonara to his mustache, whose departure has now been eulogized somewhat in the New York Times. Of course, it all started with an innocent shave, but it quickly escalated into some...

Rich Eisen's So Excited For Thursday Night Football, He Might Need New Pants
So we have a full season of Thursday Night Football on NFL Network (for those of us fortunate enough to receive that channel, at least) and that means plenty of action our favorite ego wrangler Rich Eisen. It can be hard to manage a set featuring personalities like Deion Sanders and Michael Irvin, ...

This Egyptian Bodybuilder Has The World's Most Freakishly Large Biceps
Egypt's Moustafa Ismail has now been certified by the world record-recognizin' folks at Guinness as officially having the world's most ginormous guns, measuring some 31 inches around. (That's, like, three inches less than my waist.) The 24-year-old Ismail maintains such musculature by subsisting o...

Drunk 9/11 Hippie Girl Speaks Out: "I Wanted To Make A Tribute"
On Tuesday, we brought you the tale of a Phillies superfan that one tipster dubbed "Drunk 9/11 Hippie Girl," a moniker based on (a) her presumed level of intoxication, (b) her unwavering patriotism, and (c) her obvious predilection for wearing headbands and bracelets and expressive body paint. After...

Ozzie Guillen Went On A Truly Fantastic Twitter Rant In Which He Compared Derek Jeter And Alex Cintron
Ozzie Guillen is back on Twitter, after three-and-a-half month sabbatical. Today he shared with the world his thoughts on Derek Jeter, Alex Cintron, football, and bullfighting, all in typical Ozzie fashion:...

Toronto Film Festival: Who Cares That Terrence Malick's <em>To The Wonder</em> Is Minor?
For the past week, Grierson has been at the Toronto Film Festival seeing the movies we're all going to be talking about for the next few months. Today is his first of two dispatches....

Bob Costas Actually Has Something Critical To Say About NBC's Olympic Coverage
Well, finally. Someone at NBC has admitted that its coverage of the Olympics wasn't absolutely perfect....

Bake-Off At <em>Sports Illustrated</em>! Jon Wertheim, Chris Stone Battle To Take Over Weekly Magazine
Who's in charge at Sports Illustrated? Earlier this summer, longtime editor Terry McDonell told his staff that he was dialing back on some of his responsibilities. Last month, he got a new office on (SI's parent company) Time Inc.'s corporate floor, fueling even more talk that he was on his way out....

Why The Mariners Are The Biggest Opponents Of A New NBA Arena In Seattle
Earlier this week, the Seattle City Council announced a tentative agreement on a new arena, to be built in the Sodo (south of downtown) neighborhood where Safeco Field and CenturyLink Field already stand. The revised plan is the product of months of negotiation with hedge fund investor Chris Hansen,...

The Quasimodo Of Fenway: A Creation Of The Devil, Keeper Of The Monster, Sad About The Red Sox
He keeps his watch at night, working the ancient machinery that signals to the public the fortunes of the times. Some call him a monster, but it is within the Monster he hides from the visitors who curse him for the bad news he brings evening after evening. Some say he has gone deaf from the vitrio...

Which Rookie Quarterback Had The Most Poise After His First Start?
Mark Sanchez was the king of "poise" during his rookie season in 2009. That year, you'd have been hard-pressed to find any writers using any other word to describe him (seriously, you would). Now, after just one game this season, five first-year quarterbacks—Robert Griffin III, Andrew Luck, Brandon ...