il Page 1317 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Here's The Only Way The Spurs Can Be Beat
The list of memorable halftime acts can be easily recited by any basketball fan: Quick Change, unicycle bowl lady, Frisbee Dog, and my personal favorite: Zooperstars! Last night's Western Conference Finals matchup in San Antonio appeared to feature the guy who plays outside the arena for cash as yo...
A Dead Milkman Breaks Down "The <em>Citizen Kane</em> Of White Trash Punch-Out Videos" For Us
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "Tech N9ne Concert Fight Billings MT 5-21-12," which "LatinaJuggalette" was kind enough to share. Tonight's commentator: Rodney Anonymous, satiricapunk-rockin' front ma...
Craig James's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Senate Campaign Has Come To An End
All the polls have now closed in the state of Texas, and the US Senate campaign of former ESPN analyst Craig James has reached its inevitable nadir, struggling to even gain 4 percent of the statewide party vote as ballots continue to be counted. ...
In Most Annoying Twitter Fight Ever, Rick Reilly Defends George Will From Donald Trump
Donald Trump, when he's not questioning Barack Obama's citizenship or trying to revive his years-old slap-fight with Rosie O'Donnell, sometimes says funny things on Twitter. Not "ha-ha" funny things, but "your weird uncle walking around with his robe open at Thanksgiving" funny things....
Serena Williams Gives Us A French Open Collapse For The Ages
After winning the first set handily from someone named Virginie Razzano, Serena Williams was leading the second set tiebreak 5-1. She dropped six straight points for the set, and the first five games of the third (in which Serena only managed six points)....
Jim Leyland Was Righteously Pissed At Some Terrible Umpiring
In the second inning of yesterday's matinee in Boston, Mike Aviles struck out. Well, he should have struck out. He swung and missed and everything. But the home plate umpire ruled that catcher Gerald Laird had short-hopped the catch, and on his second try, Aviles stroked an RBI single. It would lead...
"Some People Have To Be Protected Against Themselves": Hockey League Pleads With Players To Stop Boozing During Games
Today's overwrought rec league email carries a tinge of desperation. Coming to us from an adult hockey league in the Chicago suburbs, it's a cry in the dark from an overworked, under-appreciated league director, who wonders why a bunch of grown men can't get together to play hockey without drinking ...
Tim Kurkjian, George Will, And Charles Krauthammer Host World's Most Insufferable Lunch
Syndicated political columnist Charles Krauthammer decided to phone in his pre-Memorial Day column, and, in turn, wound up introducing us to the world's most insufferable get-together. He presents:...
More Shitty Boxing News: Motorcycle Crash Leaves Former Champ Paul Williams Paralyzed
First, there was the news that Johnny Tapia had died. Now this. Paul "The Punisher" Williams, who twice won welterweight titles and was once an interim junior middleweight champ, was paralyzed from the waist down after crashing his motorcycle en route to his brother's wedding Sunday morning in Atlan...
Saturday's United States-Scotland Friendly Featured A Clash Of Terribly-Performed National Anthems
The U.S. Men's National Team thrashed Scotland 5-1 in Jacksonville Saturday on the strength of a Landon Donovan hat trick, but the festival atmosphere at EverBank Field (where the attendance of 44,438 set a record for national friendlies in the state) was nearly snuffed out before the match ever be...
Today Is The Day Craig James Gets Demolished In The Election
This is it: the polls are officially open for voting in the Republican primary for Texas's vacant Senate seat. Today is the day Craig James finds out if his gay-baiting self-funding, low-polling, hooker-murder-denying Senate campaign will bear fruit, or be all for naught. Judging from the latest num...
Chris Bosh Spent Last Night In His Own Little Place Of Bliss
Injured Heat forward Chris Bosh spent last night's Eastern Conference Finals Game One on the bench, though he certainly didn't seem to be missing much about playing the game. Indeed, most opportunities viewers were given to look in on Bosh showed a man at ease with the lofty predictions for his tea...
Tonight LeBron Needs To Eat Some Old Irish Hearts
Bumblederping around the Web today it's surprising to see how many people expect the Celtics to curl up and die quiet in their series against the Heat, which begins tonight. David Steele over at the Sporting News is among the rare authors who believe three future Hall of Famers plus a tripler of dou...
Johnny Tapia Died, Died, Died, Died, Then Died, And Lived Hard In Between
New Mexico police are saying that boxer Johnny Tapia was found dead at his house on Sunday. They do not suspect foul play. Apparently he was the victim of having been Johnny Tapia for 45 years. ...
Once Again Northwestern Wins Nth Women's Lacrosse Title in N+1 Years
The women's lacrosse team from Northwestern University out-lacrossed the women's lacrosse team from Syracuse University on Sunday to win the program's seventh national title in eight years, a laudable feat of consistent ass-kicking that becomes all the more impressive when you consider the key word ...
Happy Memorial Day! Here Are Some Really Happy Dogs Welcoming Soldiers Home
Originally published for Veterans Day on Nov. 11, 2010. Just as affecting today....
Vanderbilt Pulled Off The Rare Triple Steal
SEC baseball rivals Vanderbilt and Florida always produce excitement when they match up (no, really, they do!) and tonight's five-run ninth-inning Vandy rally featured one of the rare times you'll see a triple steal anywhere in baseball. A double steal usually means someone on the defending team i...
Miami TV Anchor: "The Heat Will Play Either The Celtics Or The 69ers"
Here's a clip from today's Local 10 News Saturday Morning on Miami ABC affiliate WPLG previewing the Eastern Conference finals before tonight's Game Seven between Boston and Philadelphia....
Pussyblocked By Your College Major!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Dead Letters: "Now, I Have To Say, I Did Not Actually Read The Article"
Subject: Don’t post complete bullshit on deadspin please....