il Page 1320 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Which One's The Crackpot? Which One's The Lesbian? Know Your Rickettses, The Politically Active Cubs Owners
The newspaper headlines make it seem like the Chicago Cubs owner is up to no good. "Cubs Owner Ricketts' Anti-Obama Ad Proposal Risks Stadium Growth." "Report: Emanuel 'livid' with Cubs owner after soliciting Jeremiah Wright attack ad proposal." Sounds like this Mr. Ricketts has really vexed some fo...

Dead Letters: You Crossed A Major Line This Week, Canine Hitler
Subject: Racism and Pit Bulls...

Oh Good, Curt Schilling's Company Is Going To Get More Help From The State
When last we left 38 Studios, Curt Schilling's beleaguered video games company, they had failed to pay their employees and bounced a loan repayment check to Rhode Island. Today they tried again, and they scraped together enough cash to cover their late $1.125 million payment—only with the help of a ...

Will Smith Has Left And Gone Away
When did you first realize that the Fresh Prince could legitimately act? Like, in the big leagues? For once in my life, I was on the early part of the curve; my college newspaper assigned me, a green freshman, a review of Six Degrees of Separation, John Guare's adaptation of his own play about a fan...

Cops Will Steal Your Girlfriend!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

PR Guy Who Offered Exclusive Pics Of Some Player And His Super Bowl Ring Wants Us To "Get A Grip And Obviously A Life!!!"
Public relations wiz Jonathan Jaxson has responded to the treatment we gave his email pitch yesterday. First, he called us "Assholes!" in a tweet he has since taken down. Later, he sent me this email, presented here in its entirety:...

It's All Going According To (Pat Riley's) Plan
1. "Jay, it's Pat. Pat Riley? Yes, I remember when I cursed you out and told you to never, ever call me 'Pat,' and then hit you pretty good with my briefcase. How many stitches did you need? That's a lot of stitches. But we're friends, right? You can call me Pat anytime. How's Michelle?...

MLB Suspends Umpire Bob Davidson For "Repeated Violations Of Situation Handling Standards"
In what's almost certainly a response to his repeated instances of "Fuck You, Charlie" during an incident at Tuesday's Astros-Phillies game, Major League Baseball has suspended umpire Bob Davidson for one game. The press release reads:...

Headline On Radio Station Website Unintentionally Links Robert Griffin III, Masturbation, Jay Leno
You can see how this might happen, given everything. Robert Griffin III was on The Tonight Show late last night, and he beatboxed for Jay Leno, because there's nothing RGIII can't do, you see. Washington D.C.'s all-news station had the footage, and they wanted to post it on their website this mornin...

Kegasus, The Beer-Loving Mascot Of The Beer-Loving Preakness, Is Actually A Sober Phony
What's the saying? If you'll keg stand for something, you'll fall for anything? Promoters of the Preakness Stakes must believe it. Turns out that Kegasus, spokesbeast for the Preakness and the best mascot in all of sports, is a sham....

Geddy Lee Checked Out A Blue Jays Game From The Limelight Of Seats Behind Home Plate
Canadian rocker Geddy Lee sat in some primo seats for a recent Blue Jays game, and the living testament to the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame's illegitimacy appeared to enjoy himself—if spending a bit too much of the game checking out his text messages....

Man Busted By Reporter For Parking Illegally: "Fuck You. I Hope You Get AIDS."
It's local news sweeps time again, which means reporters are on the prowl with their I-Teams to trump up whatever tired outrage hasn't been covered recently. Fecal matter in iced tea? Eyewitness News is on your side! Cops eating doughnuts and drinking coffee on the job? The I-Team is there!...

Curt Schilling's 38 Studios Can't Pay Employees, Bounced A Check To The State
We've been following the sad saga of 38 Studios, Curt Schilling's video company that moved to Rhode Island after receiving a whopping loan from the state. Well, things haven't gone well. They haven't employed the number of people they promised. Their big game isn't close to being on schedule. The st...

Glory Days: When I Was A Semipro Football Player, A Broadcaster Once Said I "Might Be Bionic"
An occasional series featuring our readers' tales of momentary sports glory. If you've got a video of your own brush with athletic greatness, send it to [email protected], subject: Glory Days....

Jonathan Papelbon Is Now Referring To Himself In The Third Person As "Cinco"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: That's short of Cinco Ocho, of course....

Here You Go, PR Guy For Some Player NFL Teams No Longer Want
This email popped into our tips inbox just a little while ago:...

Newspaper's HS Softball Season Wrap-Up Includes No Stats, "Due To The Coach's Bullshit And Laziness."
So this is one of those Twitter things, without much backstory. (We saw it here first.) But the team in question is the Rayne (Louisiana) High Lady Wolves, the coach is Deserea Dunn, and the paper is, we think, the Rayne Independent. The Lady Wolves crashed out of the district playoffs last month, s...

Jonathan Vilma Sues Roger Goodell For Defamation
Saints linebacker Jonathan Vilma was suspended one full season for his role in the Saints' bounty scandal, and immediately appealed. Beyond that, the NFLPA argued before independent arbitrator Shyam Das (we've heard his name before) that Roger Goodell didn't have the authority to punish players....

A Commemorative GIF Of Brett Lawrie's "Unlucky" Helmet Spike That Hit Umpire Bill Miller And Earned Him A Four-Game Suspension
Blue Jays infielder Brett Lawrie will sit out the next four games after throwing a tantrum on home plate umpire Bill Miller during the ninth inning of Toronto's game against Tampa Bay. "It took a bad hop and hit him totally by accident," stated Lawrie, who appealed the suspension though he does pla...

For Some Reason, You Can Fly From New York To Newark For Saturday's Devils-Rangers Game
Actually, that "some reason" is pretty obvious: free publicity for Delta, which is offering Rangers fans a free flight Saturday morning from LaGuardia to Newark Liberty International. Here's hoping no one takes them up on their stupid offer, because really, who cares about free when you have to deal...