il Page 1352 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Milwaukee Brewers Fans Are Just The Weirdest: A Fictionalized Doug Melvin Says Goodbye To Prince Fielder
Watch in amazement as the face of Doug Melvin evokes every single one of the jumbled mess of feelings accompanying the loss of Prince Fielder—to the tune of Adele's "Someone Like You." It's touching, heartbreaking and, most of all, creepy as all get-out....

Almost Five Reasons To Watch The NHL All-Star Game, Which I Think Is Sunday
The NHL All-Star Game—which is always an exciting contest—takes place this weekend in Ottawa. I think it's on Sunday at 4 p.m. on NBC Sports Network. Here is why you should watch, if the game actually is on that channel at that time....

Cockblocked By Racial Stereotypes!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

The Prospects For Craig James's Senate Campaign Are Getting Even Worse
"He is by far one of the most hated men in West Texas." Now that's a catchy campaign slogan. [The Post Game]...

The Winter X Games Are Underway, Which Means Gnarly Snowmobile Crashes
Snowmobile Freestyle is perhaps the the most batshit insane of all professional sports in North America (snocross comes close) due simply to the ridiculous things competitors are able to tweak out of their 450-pound death machines. So here's 22-year-old Texan Colton Colten Moore failing spectacula...

Lefty Driesell Is Mad Because Maryland Named Its Court After Gary Williams
Gary Williams retired after last season as the winningest coach in the history of Maryland basketball, a 22-year run that included a national title in 2002. The school has named its court at the Comcast Center after Williams, but not without an objection from Lefty Driesell, who coached the Terps f...

Here's Video And A Transcript Of Nike Chairman Phil Knight's Vehement Defense Of Joe Paterno
At today's public memorial for Joe Paterno, Nike's Phil Knight called Joe Paterno his "hero" and launched a counterattack against Penn State for the manner in which the university fired its head football coach. Here's the video (from BTN) and the broadcast transcript (unedited) from Knight's eulo...

Oddibe McDowell's Water Bill Has An Additional Year-End Fee Of $90
We can't think what else the disproportionate $89.55 "miscellaneous" charge could be....

FBI Docs: The Story Of The 6-Foot-8 Redneck Ex-Con Who Terrorized George Steinbrenner With Jet Skis
Ah, Tampa. The balmy breeze. The sandy white beaches of acceptable granularity. The lingering fury of the most dyspeptic owner in baseball history. I speak, of course, of George Steinbrenner. Welcome back for another edition of "The Boss Files," our document-driven retrospective of Steinbrenner's li...

This Is One Of Few Quotes That Improves A Story About A Man Who Stole 10,000 Pairs Of Panties
"He smelled them all the time even while driving," said police Major General Saroj Promcharoen. [Daily Telegraph] (H/T Fox5)...

A J.P. Morgan Vice President Has Very Specific Tactical Plans For His Rec League Basketball Team
The latest entry in our overwrought emails series comes from the world of high finance... rec-league basketball. A vice president at J.P. Morgan in London is very enthusiastic about the upcoming season. But he's not gonna stand for his players flailing around on the court, like Mike D'Antoni might. ...

This Vancouver Canucks Fan Is Proud To Be Dating An Edmonton Fan
Your morning roundup for Jan. 25, the day we learned oral sex may or may not kill you. Photo via Puck Daddy. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Pennsylvania's Governor Is Officially Sad Joe Paterno Is Dead, After He Officially Helped Fire Him
Gov. Tom Corbett declared yesterday that all flags on state facilities be at half-staff until Joe Paterno is buried. It's a decision that's generating plenty of opinions pro and con, given Paterno's complex legacy in relation to his towering stature in Pennsylvania. But it's curious that Corbett sa...

The Great Duke Attendance Scam
It's not really a scam; that's a sensationalist headline. Just jumping the gun on what will spend all day being a very dumb story. Because it is about Duke, and every story about Duke eventually breaks down to the lowest common denominators of the pro-Duke and anti-Dook factions flinging feces at ea...

By Dying, Joe Paterno Is Still Protecting Penn State
During the grand jury's investigation of Jerry Sandusky, it was Joe Paterno who provided the testimony that corraborated Mike McQueary's story, which is what led to the perjury and failure to report abuse charges against Penn State athletic director Tim Curley and former vice president for business...

The Worst National Anthems Ever
These are the five we included in our poll on Sunday. As of this writing, Roseanne Barr's version is the "worst anthem" clubhouse leader by a substantial margin (she has nearly 50 percent of the vote, with Carl Lewis checking in at 28). Facebook users can vote here....

"Cundiff" Is Already Being Used As A Verb
Kansas Jayhawks fans adapted their free throw distraction techniques to fit current events, as Billy Cundiff's name appeared behind the basket during last night's tilt against Texas A&M....

Why The Giants Targeted A Player Prone To Concussions
The day after a conference championship game, there is an avalanche of coverage, usually sticking to the main storylines. But other than this New York Magazine story, it's odd that no one had made much of a fuss over two Giants saying they specifically targeted Kyle Williams because he had a history...

The Giants Went After Kyle Williams Because He Had A History Of Concussions
On NYMag.com, the splendid Ben Wallace-Wells takes a look at fumblin' Kyle Williams and the Giants' strategy. "They'd targeted Williams for extra violence because they knew he had suffered several concussions in the past, and they think it worked." [NYMag]...

"His Schlong" Was An Actual Answer On Tonight's <em>Family Feud</em>
If it's Monday, it means a sex reference on a game show. After last week's Donkey Punch incident on Jeopardy!, we present to you an answer nobody guessed to the Family Feud question (okay, the clues on that show are actually imperatives) "Name something an airline pilot might be holding on a long...