il Page 1359 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Illinois Ball Boy Later Flagged For Unsportsmanlike Conduct While Attempting To Pick His Friend's Nose At Fight Hunger Bowl
Your morning roundup for Jan. 1, the day we whimsically shook our heads and thought "they've done it again." Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Let's Celebrate The New Year With Auburn's Statue Of Liberty Play
There's never a bad time for a trick play, and Auburn tied up the Chick-Fil-A Bowl in Atlanta with a picture-perfect Statue of Liberty. Happy New Year in the United States of Football. [ESPN]...

The Only Entertaining Thing To Come Out Of The Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl Was Also The Most Heartwarming
As part of the Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl, players from Illinois spent two and half hours feeding the homeless at St. Anthony's Dining Room in San Francisco. They also spent at least two minutes and eleven seconds breaking it down with this wheelchair-bound gentleman. Look at that guy go!...

Northwestern Coach Pat Fitzgerald Is Wondering Why God Has Forsaken Him
The Meineke Care Care Bowl Of Texas became the scene of a spiritual crisis for Northwestern head coach Pat Fitzgerald, as he sought divine explanations for a momentum-killing tripping penalty. [ESPN]...

ESPN's SkyCam Becomes Self-Aware, Starts Attacking Iowa Players
It was bound to happen eventually: the wire-suspended ESPN SkyCam came crashing to the ground late in Friday's Insight Bowl in Tempe, nearly decapitating Iowa's Marvin McNutt and leaving the Worldwide Leader's Sean McDonough to apologize with a sheepish "Sorry folks."...

BYU Won The Military Armed Forces Bowl By Bearing False Witness
Brigham Young University, the school that suspends you for daring to have sex, holds no such stringency to the words of the Lord when it comes to running football plays. This one earned the Cougars the Military Armed Forces Bowl trophy and, sure, it's a stretch to call a fake spike "lying," but it...

Never Hook Up In A Bunk Bed
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

The Winter Of A-Rod Continues: He's Dating A Wrestler/Playboy Model/Muscly Blonde
We always suspected Rodriguez's "blood-spinning treatment" was just a metaphor for nailing another toned blonde off the A-Rod girlfriend assembly line. (Hair color can be artificial, and come to think of it, so can the muscles.) Rodriguez has been out and about with Torrie Wilson, a grande dame of p...

In Case You Missed It, TNT Toppled A Christmas Tree Onto Shaq
After years of trashing Chris Bosh (the "RuPaul of big men" comment in 2009, the "Big Two" reference earlier this year) the chickens finally came home to roost. On TNT's postgame show last night, the crew convinced O'Neal to take the last in-studio shot of 2011—in front of a precarious Christmas t...

Prince Fielder And Tim Lincecum Want Long-Term Deals, Andrew Bailey Is Thinking Music, And More From Around The Hot Stove
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!...

This Guy Died This Year: Bil Keane, Comics Paterfamilias
Bil Keane was known, among his fellow professional cartoonists, as a funny, funny man. His life's work, in The Family Circus, was to hide that fact from as many people as possible. Day after day, decade after decade, The Family Circus delivered the mildest gags imaginable—observational humor minus t...

Some People Don't Want To Believe Lou Williams's Story About Treating His Would-Be Gunman To Fast Food
76ers guard Lou Williams made a few people laugh with his heartwarming tale of nearly being robbed at gunpoint on a Philly street on Christmas Eve, only to be saved because the thief recognized him, after which Williams treated the man to some food at McDonald's. But was it true? There are those in...
![Columnist Calls Former OU Coach A "Slapdick" Hired "Because He Was Black," Doesn't Realize He's Being Recorded [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Columnist Calls Former OU Coach A "Slapdick" Hired "Because He Was Black," Doesn't Realize He's Being Recorded [UPDATE]
After yesterday's Fiesta Bowl press conference for Oklahoma State defensive coordinator Bill Young, Tulsa World columnist Dave Sittler did what a lot of reporters often do once the cameras and microphones are turned off and the interview subject hasn't yet bolted for the lunch spread. Sittler enga...

Even At Kim Jong-Il's Funeral, A Yankee Fan
"You must wear a hat! We are in mourning for Dear Leader, so you must cover your head, and also you will catch cold. Go find your best hat; only the finest will do today. Something that screams luxury, but also power. Success and skill. Megalomania and a complete inability to feel empathy for anyo...

Four Players Since Week 10 Have Won Defensive Player Of The Week After Facing The Jets
The Daily News points out a common thread in one of the NFL's weekly awards:...

Someone Stole $1700 Worth Of Guns From A Carolina Panther's Truck At Best Buy
Panther Kion Wilson was parked outside a Charlotte Best Buy on Monday afternoon when someone broke into his pickup truck and stole four guns. Wilson lost a Glock 23, a 12-gauge shotgun, a FN Five-seven handgun and an unspecified Smith & Wesson. If you have any information that could put these guns b...

15 Years Ago, I Wrote A Fan Letter To ESPN. Here's Who Wrote Back.
I don't remember now what was in my letter, which I'd addressed to the very nonspecific "SportsCenter anchors." I'm sure it was your standard fan mail—"I'm a big fan, I watch every morning, I want to be on ESPN one day." I don't think I asked for a reply, and I definitely didn't ask for signed heads...

Watch Claude Giroux Set Up A Goal With A Pass To Himself Off The Boards
Giroux said he had tested the boards at the St. Pete Times Forum during the Flyers' morning skate, and he puts what he discovered to the test here, to dazzling effect. The subsequent shot Giroux took bounced right to teammate Scott Hartnell for a goal. Which is all well and good. The Lightning sti...

Watch A Canadian Junior Hockey Team Humiliate Team And Country With A Bieber Christmas Song
Ladies and germs, the Edmonton Oil Kings with "All I Want For Christmas" featuring Mariah Carey, Justin Bieber and bunch of fellows who want to grow up and be the next Tomas Vincour....

Horrible Quotes About A Soccer Player's Torn Scrotum
From Andy Hessenthaler, manager for League Two side Gillingham:...