il Page 1384 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

SprtsCntr: For The Record, Mike Vick Is Not Complaining
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

Ravaged By Irene: Oddibe McDowell's Water Bill Is $73.07 This Month Because Of A $21.00 Stormwater Fee
The former journeyman outfielder only used four thousand gallons of water during the last billing cycle, but Hurricane Irene's deluge in Broward County means that McDowell has an extra $21.00 in water bill fees. Cruel, cruel world....

The Bills Grabbed A Lot More Than A Victory Yesterday Against The Patriots
Your morning roundup for Sept. 26, the day we heard Stephen King read a sequel to The Shining. H/T to Braden for the photo. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Did Kirk Herbstreit Drop An F Bomb In The LSU/WVU Booth Last Night?
Your morning roundup for Sept. 25, the day Catwoman got real. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. (Video H/T Casey)...

They Cried Tears Of Joy And Praised The Heavens When The Brewers Clinched A Division Title
Your morning roundup for Sept. 24, a day you no longer have to worry about getting hit by a falling satellite unless you already got hit, in which case wouldn't be reading this because you're not alive to fret. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Deadspin's Guide To <em>Moneyball</em>
The much-delayed Moneyball film finally pops into your area cinemaplex today, marking one of nerds' few victories in a September filled with Red Sox defeats. We take particular interest in this film, and not just because we've long yearned to see someone portraying Chad Bradford dance across the scr...

In Which Will Carroll, At The Bottom Of The Sea, Hits Himself With A Hammer
To protect his brittle ribs and gooey lung center, Tony Romo will suit up with a flak jacket made of Kevlar. But if you're like me, you're wondering: how exactly does one use Kevlar to protect oneself? Well, let me tell you: you put it between you and the thing hitting you....

"Life Is Like A Jump Shot": Reviewing The Unremarkable History Of NBA Rappers
NBA players like rapping, and that is a fact of the universe that we are powerless to stop. The way that I have tended to deal this phenomenon is generally to ignore it completely. It is shockingly easy to do: Just as I do with Kreayshawn, I pretend that NBA rappers do not exist, that they have neve...

Billy Beane On His Pet Names For Brian Sabean
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: "Sabey Sabes" was a Hollywood invention. The real one was much worse....

Cockblocked By Coldplay!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Football Is Even More Exciting With A Spanish Announcer
This is LarryLarryLarryLarry Fitzgerald's 73-yard touchdown from Sunday, as exuberantly described by Gabriel Trujillo of 710 ESPN Deportes Radio in Phoenix. It contains the cadences of a soccer call, and about 800 times the excitement due a Cardinals/Redskins game. [AZCardinals.com]...

Bill Belichick, Terror Of The High Seas, On Roller Skates
Your morning roundup for Sept. 23, the day we learned Einstein might have been wrong about that whole theory of relativity jazz. Photo courtesy Larry Brown Sports, via @xmasape. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Let's Watch A Russian Oligarch Preemptively Attack A Fellow Tycoon On A Talk Show
Per The Telegraph, "billionaire Russian oligarch Alexander Lebedev has physically attacked a fellow tycoon on national TV after the other man told him he would like to "punch someone's lights out."...

Rashard Lewis Is "Willing To Sacrifice" Himself For The NBA Owners' Sins
In 2007, chronic underachiever Rashard Lewis signed a six-year, $118-million contract with the Orlando Magic. Then, last December, the Magic unloaded Lewis onto the Washington Wizards in exchange for their own chronic underachiever, Gilbert Arenas. Arenas had a six-year, $111-million contract at the...

SprtsCntr: Coming To You Live From Michael Vick's Hippocampus
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

Presenting What Could Be The First Nasty Face-To-Boards Hit Of The NHL Preseason
Jody Shelley of the Philadelphia Flyers (for now) logged 6:27 of ice time in a preseason game against the Toronto Maple Leafs before he was asked to retire to the locker room for the evening....

Fox NFL Sunday Analysts Are Really, Totally Not Transparently Excited About <em>The X Factor</em>
From today's Twitter postings:...

The Vince Young Imposter Has Been Breaking Hearts All Over D.C.
The Washington Times has the story on Stephan Pittman, the registered sex offender from Maryland who's been conning women by posing as Vince Young: "'He brought a bear and flowers for my friend,' Denisse said. 'He was such a good actor. But half my heart didn't believe him.'" [Washington Times]...

A Handy Timeline Guide To The Ongoing Hack-A-Shaq Saga
A reader, who only wants credit to go to "Colin," has sent in this exhaustive guide to the Hack-A-Shaq saga that we've been dutifully (and somewhat regrettably) following for the past few weeks. We found this version—in familiar brick free-throw form (with artistic liberties taken as regards to his ...

Joe Posnanski's Profile Of Bill James Will Get You Pumped For <em>Moneyball</em>
It's like Sabermetric Christmas: "Yes, he was driven nuts early and often, and he raged back with a sort of funny, blunt and often searing writing that appealed to an audience nobody had realized existed. Bill James was not the first person to search for knowledge in baseball, not even close, but un...