il Page 1397 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

If This Doesn't Warm Your Heart, You're Awful
We've learned a lot about fan psychology when it comes to foul balls. We've seen adults snatch them away from children; we've seen kids sulk until they're rewarded; we've seen grown men devote their sad lives to catching baseballs. There's something about that little sphere made of cork, yarn and ...

Tiger Woods Dumps His Longtime Caddie, Magically Solves All His Problems
The guy formerly known as the best golfer on earth announced today — via his website — that he was kicking longtime caddie Stevie Williams to the curb. Hell has to response quote like a Tiger Woods sidekick scorned. To wit:...

Vince Wilfork Would Like To Express His Condolences To Robert Kraft, But Can't
Myra Kraft, the wife of the Patriots' owner and a philanthropist in her own right, died early today. We're here to help Vince Wilfork let the Kraft family know he's thinking of them....

Brandon Jennings Was On Time For This Alley-Oop To Himself
Bucks guard Brandon Jennings did his best Kevin Durant impression in a self-assisted, fast-break alley-oop at Baltimore's Melo Center earlier this week. His timing was impeccable....

Texas Rangers Will Raise All Ballpark Rails To 42 Inches
"The Rangers will raise the height of the front row rails at Rangers Ballpark in Arlington to 42 inches, an increase of as much as 12 inches in certain areas of the park, as part of new safety initiatives at the facility following the death of fan Shannon Stone... The rail that Stone fell over was 3...

Former Phillies Reliever Ricky Bottalico Is Worried About Roy Oswalt's Bulging Dick
Crossing Broad brings us another highlight to add to the already lengthy reel of sports broadcasters talking about bulging dicks....

Lute Olson, Billy Gillispie (And Other College Coaches You Probably Hate) Appear To Have Lost Lots In Ponzi Scheme
College coaches are probably paid too much, especially when you consider how much—nothing—players make. John Calipari just got a deal for $36.5 million. Jim Calhoun resents being asked about why he's the highest-paid state employee of Connecticut....

Shaq Passes First Analyst Test By Dissing Chris Bosh On Air
On NBA TV today: "The Miami Heat, they've got a lot of great players, the 'Big 2.' They will be back." Yeah, he and Chuck will get along just fine. [Miami Heat Index]...

The Say Hey Id: Willie Mays Was A Reluctant Letter-Writer, But He Longed For Love
Here's one of Willie Mays's charming love letters to his then-girlfriend, former beauty queen Gladys Cofield. This would've been in the first half of the 1950s, though the exact date isn't clear. At the time, Mays was smitten with the former Jet covergirl and fawned over the pretty photographs she s...

Is Baseball To Blame For The Pathetic State Of Pie Throwing?
So some dope interrupted the Murdoch family's stammering and mumbling today by "throwing a pie" at Rupert Murdoch, which actually meant waving a styrofoam plate in Murdoch's direction as some sort of foam slid off it, till Mrs. Rupert Murdoch jumped up and clobbered the "pie" guy....

The NFL Lockout's Almost Over, So Here's Stevie Johnson's Big Ass Birthday Cake
[via Flopping Out]...

Amidst Lockout, NBA Players, Executives Awkwardly Ask Each Other To Dance
Remember how when Yao Ming retired after nine years in Houston, they weren't allowed to call him or release a comment? One of the side effects of the lockout is that players can't have any contact with their teams, so we were forced to imagine Yao sitting at home, staring at the phone, not understan...

You Can Say "Circumcising Mosquitoes" On <em>PTI</em>, But You Can't Say It Thrice
The gentlemen on Pardon The Interruption exceeded the quota for the amount of times one can say some variation of the phrase "circumcising mosquitoes" on live television today. Cowlishaw, quoting (and imitating) Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, gets in two mentions, but Wilbon never gets his chance. The...

Watch The Gut-Churning End To The Women's World Cup
The U.S. women's national team's run came to an end today in Frankfurt. Here's Abby Wambach's go-ahead goal in extra time, Homare Sawa's nifty conversion off of a corner kick soon after to tie it up, and — for the U.S. and for me, at least — the heartbreaking end in penalty kicks. I still advocate...

Dook Sisters Go To Court Over Who's Dookier
The daughter of a Duke alumnus has filed a lawsuit against her sister, her brother-in-law, and Duke University for her inherited right to sit among these fine young men and women at Cameron Indoor Stadium all season long. Katina Dorton is seeking damages for the "fraudulent transfer" of two season t...

Anyone Want A Life-Size Wall Decal Of Dan Gilbert's Bowtied Son?
Nick Gilbert, the breathing, five-foot talisman that charmed Cleveland to Kyrie Iring in May, wowed us with his snazzy enthusiasm at the lottery....

The Dangers Of Handjobs From Softball Players
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

ESPN Inexplicably Whitewashes Rick Reilly Column To Remove Rupert Murdoch Reference
In the Reilly column we dissected earlier, there was a throwaway line, a very Rick Reilly sort of pop culture reference....

Reno Mahe, Who Once Returned Kicks, Now Allegedly Takes Gasoline
Reno Mahe spent five years in the NFL, all with the Philadelphia Eagles, for whom he was mainly a return man. Now, authorities in Salt Lake City say he took nearly $2,700 in gasoline by using a friend's corporate account. The 31-year-old spent a little time in jail Thursday after being charged with ...

Today In Great Ledes
"Sports historians will look back on what happened at ESPN's ESPY awards the other night and pinpoint it as the broadcast that signaled the rise of soccer and the death of football." [Chicago Tribune]...