il Page 1403 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Now LeBron Is Insulting Your Intelligence, Too
LeBron James "clarified" his postgame comments about how people who rooted against him were losers with "personal problems"—that is, he shied away from his own quote as if it were a wide-open clutch-time three-point opportunity:...

Stay Soft, Dirk Nowitzki
Even before Dirk Nowitzki lifted a championship trophy on Sunday night, he was being held up as a new man. Nowitzki had reinvented himself, we were told. He'd finally "shed" the Euro-soft label plastered to him throughout his career and, to much adulation, morphed into the sort of rugged warrior tha...

99¢ Store Now 75¢ Store In Honor Of LeBron, Because, You Know. That Pesky Fourth Quarter.
Getting old? Getting old. But not just yet! (Let us have the rest of the week, tops.) A Houston-area bargain store is creatively slashing prices, so you can thank LeBron James for savings on off-brand candy and possibly used dinnerware....

The FBI Is Investigating The Tyler Hamilton-Lance Armstrong Restaurant Run-In
Move this story off Versus and onto TruTV—the feds are getting involved and talking about witness tampering. Whoa....

These Newborns Have Been Bruins Fans For About As Long As Most Adult Bostonians
We kid, we kid. Obviously there are no parallels to be drawn between the litter at this area hospital, brainwashed from their first days to support the local hockey club, and grown Bruins fans, who made the informed choice themselves, all coincidentally around the spring of 2008....

Bills Fan's Cock 'N' Balls Make The Newspaper (SFWish)
Check out junior in the Posluszny jersey. Now check out his crotch, you pervert. At least it's Buffalo, so he can always have the "it was cold" excuse....

Shaq Has Not Yet Tweeted About Alleged Involvement In Kidnap/Robbery/Sex Tape Case
TMZ reports that recent retiree and otherwise loveable human Shaq may be involved in a case that has seven Crips gang members "charged with robbery, kidnapping and other crimes" in their attempt to secure a tape that (allegedly) contains security footage of then-married Shaq having sex with other wo...

Serena's Comeback Tally: One Win, One Smashed Racket, And Almost A Broken Nail
Serena Williams knocked off Tsvetana Pironkova in the first round at the Eastbourne Tennis Tournament today, 1-6, 6-3, 6-4. There were two very good signs in the scandal-stirrer's first return to professional tennis in over a year: the first was that she won, despite a rough first set, and the sec...

Every Overwrought Thing Adrian Wojnarowski Has Said About LeBron James
Yahoo's Adrian Wojnarowski, like many of our nation's sportswriters, doesn't care for LeBron James. But Woj shows his distaste with a bit more pathos than that of the average hack. Here, in order of increasing floridness and delusion, are some choice LeBron-related quotes from November 2008 on....

Elaine's Was A Dump, Or The Grantland Fallacy
ESPN's Professional Southerner Wright Thompson used his space in Grantland to write a loving meditation on Elaine's, the now-defunct bad New York restaurant mainly known to people under 45 as a Billy Joel lyric. This made Thompson at least the third member of his little circle of sportswriting buddi...

Lance Armstrong Stepped To Tyler Hamilton Outside A Boys Room In Aspen On Saturday
For a man with one testicle, Lance Armstrong has enormous balls. This past weekend, Armstrong all but challenged his former teammate and current nemesis, Tyler Hamilton, to a duel outside the bathroom of a swank Aspen restaurant. Hamilton was in town to lead bike rides for Outside magazine and dine ...

Your Mavs/Heat Game Six Open Thread
Nobody has the flu tonight. So we're told. Dallas leads 3-2 going on the road, just like the world champion 2010 Celtics. This ain't over, not yet, at least. Bienvenido a Miami....

Michael Vick Delivered A Graduation Speech, But No One Paid Attention
Remember Dwight Eisenhower's famous farewell address, where he warned us of the military-industrial complex, but we didn't listen to him and wound up in lots of unnecessary (and unnecessarily costly) wars? Maybe this is the lowbrow version of that address....

Watch Man U's Gary Neville Throw A Truly Terrible First Pitch At A White Sox Game
Gary Neville, who played right back for England and Manchester United for perhaps forever, before retiring this year, was in Chicago on Thursday night to throw out the first pitch before the White Sox-A's game. Man U and the Chicago Fire will be playing a friendly shortly. He and his 400 caps are ...

Bill Plaschke Tries Bill Simmons On For Size
With today's game six preview column, Plaschke has entered the pantheon of writers who write like Bill Simmons....

Joe Buck Is Not Announcing Phillies Game Today, But The Fans Still Hate Him
This comes via Hickey (the photographer is @roscocosmopeco), your usual weekend landlord, whose Twitter pal is rocking this shirt at today's Cubs-Phillies affair. The only problem is that Kenny Albert, not Buck, is announcing the national game for Fox....

Facing the Lockout, <em>Madden</em> and NFL Fans Seek a Common Refuge
At E3 this week, the sight I was least prepared for was that of Ray Lewis in full Baltimore Ravens uniform: eye-black, skullcap, gloves, wristbands, everything. This was an appearance for Madden NFL 12 but to him, it didn't look… [Kotaku] ...

New Jersey Man Threatens Lawsuit Because His Daughter Didn't Make The All-County Softball First Team
A high school softball player hits .571 (which was not, by the way, the best average on her team) with nine homers and 46 RBI, and she doesn't make the all-state team. Tough shit, homegirl, most would say. We've all had our disappointments, especially in high school. But our fathers never sued....

And This Is Why We Need Grantland
If you haven't yet read Charlie Pierce's Grantland essay about his time at The National, you should, and not just because it's Pierce hanging out in Bill Simmons's house, and not just because it's the best appreciation of the much-appreciated National you'll find. You should read it because it's ess...

Undressed Mascot Loses Job, Regains Job, Confuses Adolescents
This is 40-year-old Tracy Chandler, who parades about as the Doncaster Rovers' mascot. Or as thousands of Yorkshire youngsters are now saying, "Donny...what...?"...