il Page 1405 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Only 2,752 Minutes Until Grantland Launches, Give Or Take
As you're no doubt aware from ESPN.com. We'll have more on this breaking countdown later....
West Virginia's Toxic Circus: The Boozer, The Lame Duck, And The Vengeful Coach's Wife
West Virginia's coaching situation is, to put it as mildly as we can, a total clusterfuck. Whoever in the athletics office thought it would be a good idea to hire Dana Holgorsen as head-coach-in-waiting, while still keeping current coach Bill Stewart around for another year, ought to find themselves...
Phillies Backup Catcher Has Contemplative Moment Facedown On Pittsburgh Bar
Journeyman catcher Dane Sardinha was seen decompressing like a champion at August Henry's early Sunday morning, which is typical behavior after anyone is forced to backstop a Kyle Kendrick emergency start. Even though Sardinha went hitless in the Phillies loss to the Pirates, he probably made solid...
Vancouver Announcers Have Different Opinion About Taunt By Vancouver Player, Believe It Or Not
The hubbub over Alex Burrows' biting Patrice Bergeron's finger in Game 1 intensified when the not-suspended Burrows scored two goals in the next game, including the game-winner. Max Lapierre didn't exactly help the cause when he offered Bergeron his own digit as compensation. "Have a bite! There's...
Man Gets Wasted At Company Softball Game, Emails Company To Brag About DUI And Getting Kicked Out Of A Bar
If you're at a corporate softball outing with alcohol, it's best not to get totally smashed in front of all your co-workers, especially if you have work the next day. If you get totally smashed and have work the next day, it's best to call it a night. If you don't call it a night, it's best to avoid...
This Would Be An Apt Metaphor If There Were An NBA Team Named The Sharks
Your morning roundup for June 5, the day we read about Gilbert Arenas' deep sea exploits....
Lil Jon Still Supports Dutch National Team Even After Drug Tourism Crackdown
Your morning roundup for June 4, the day our plumbing issues got put in perspective. Pic via....
Tim Tebow Dreams Of A World In Which College Athletes Get Paid Enough To Buy Scooters And Eat At Outback
Tim Tebow was on the Daily Show last night with a brand new tagline: Author. If you haven't heard, by way of the book's trailer (this is a thing that is apparently done quite regularly now) or his Colorado-to-Florida book tour, the 23-year-old quarterback has released his first-quarter-of-life mem...
Buckeye Voices: "You Guys Remind Me Of Some Tackhead Teenage Broads With Tissue Stuffed In Their Bras"
On Monday, as Jim Tressel announced his resignation, we brought you Buckeye fans' rage-filled tweets at Ray Small. They were so angry at Small for speaking to the Ohio State student paper, The Lantern: He told them that some players "don't even think about [NCAA] rules."...
Cockblocked By Hindu Marriage Traditions!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
John Buccigross Just Mistakenly And Fittingly Called Wilt Chamberlain The "Big Dick" On Air
John Buccigross, Fire Joe Morgan's most ardent fan, bequeathed his own gift to the site on SportsCenter this afternoon. He quickly corrected himself for the factual error....
Chile To Investigate Pablo Neruda's Death; FIFA-Adviser Henry Kissinger To Investigate His Navel
A judge in Chile just ordered an investigation into the mysterious death of poet Pablo Neruda, who supposedly succumbed to prostate cancer 12 days after a Henry Kissinger-backed right wing coup installed a hideous dictator who brutalized and slaughtered his own people for years. The circumstances su...
I've Been Staring At This Bizarre Photo For Almost A Minute And I Still Haven't Blinked (NSFW?)
For whatever reason, a reader named "Adem" sent this pic in an email without any logical explanation. So I leave it up to you people to figure out the sad, mysterious backstory of this screen-capture from what appears to be some sort of hostage situation at an S & M dungeon filled with fast food em...
Tiny Child Inspires Us To Get Up Off Our Asses To Pwactice Widing A Bike
With the way cynicism travels through generations these days, we'll give him about six to eight years before he realizes that compared to the rest of life, riding a bike isn't really a big deal at all. But my god, what good cheer! Consider this cold heart (especially from someone who also struggle...
An Edmonton Oiler Picked Up A Hitchhiking Bono In Vancouver
As a young driver, they used to tell me: Always pick up hitchhikers. You never know when one of them will be the guy who scored Spider-Man: the Musical....
The Justice Department Is Very Interested In The BCS's Legality
As are we all (fans will take the empire crumbling any way they can get it, but the government probably has more say in that than sports writers.) Bill Hancock will meet with DOJ lawyers sometime this summer for what he's calling a "voluntary background briefing." Basically, they want to know how th...
This Is One Way To Get Out Of Your Impending Wedding
To tell the Tale of Topless, Stimulant-Riddled, About-To-Be-Married "Sasha S," not much more beyond the "Drugged-up bodybuilder causes road carnage" headline is necessary. Well, other than the kicker:...
Shaq: One Of The Greatest To Ever Play And Star Of One Of The Most Awful Movies Ever Made
We shared a few good stories with you today, and so we will end Wednesday with nothing but whimsy, from the man who has perhaps the best innate understanding of whimsy in the game. Here is Shaq, at age 24, emerging from a magic boombox as a freestyling genie with the promise of three wishes in the...
Shaq Retires On Twitter
Shaquille O'Neal took to his Twitter account minutes ago to announce his retirement before the official announcement of his retirement, which we will now announce to you, because this is the strange nature of the interwebs. We want to hug him, and to extend an invitation for him to take an honorar...
Here Is The Giant Bill Simmons <i>NYT Mag</i> Profile You Were All Waiting For
It's called "Can Bill Simmons Win the Big One?" and it's by The Bronx Is Burning author Jonathan Mahler. Never mind that his book was made into an ESPN miniseries and that's not disclosed in the piece....