il Page 1446 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Your Double Roybow Reds-Phillies Open Thread
Believe it or not, the Phillies aren't already up 3 games to 0 in this series. It's Bronson Arroyo vs. Beta-Roy tonight, so here's the place to toast the first Reds hitter to get a hit. Assuming one does....
Cockblocked By Old Yeller. GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Liverpool FC Chairman Admires Winning Attitude Of The Boston Rod Sex
*Consults Freud textbooks*...
Per Bill James's Pitching Metric, Tim Lincecum Was More Dominant Than Don Larsen, Roy Halladay
Quoth Bill James's Game Score metric, Tim Lincecum (96) was more dominant yesterday than Roy Halladay (94) in his no-hitter or Don Larsen (94) in his perfect game. It's official: two hits are better than none....
Shaq Wants A Little Friend Not Named Nate Robinson
Shaq wants to buy the world's smallest horse. Of course he does....
Letter Chiding Baylor Students For Clogging Plumbing System With Semen Is Too Good To Be True, Alas
According to an anonymous tipster, the residence halls at Baylor were recently clogged with semen, leading to this desperate plea from one residence hall's director. Sadly, it's a fake, as our brief conversation with the hilariously put-upon director confirmed....
When Preseason Games Of Grab-Ass Go Wrong
Last night's Raptors-Suns game featured this delightful sequence in which Reggie Evans fouled Grant Hill, which led to the two engaging in a spirited round of ironic ass-slappery. Both players were ejected. Via Skeets....
Brett Favre's Cellphone Seduction Of Jenn Sterger (Update)
In the video here (parts of which are NSFW due to penis photos at the 2:08 mark), you'll see and hear all the strange messages Jenn Sterger received from someone she was led to believe was Brett Favre. [Final update here.]...
10 Or So Minutes Until Dong Time
Apologies for the delay. For the record, I believe the "Croc" may actually be a slipper, one of those buckskin jobs. There also appears to be a sports hernia....
Teammate: Wayne Rooney Is "Working Class" And "Vulgar"
While most of us can't wait for this international break to be over, Man United's Federico Macheda will be hoping time goes really slowly while he's away with Italy's U21 squad, after making an "ill-advised" comment about his willy-swinging teammate Wayne Rooney....
The Imperfect Man Pitched A Perfect Game, Lost His Pants
Welcome to Private Stache, an occasional feature in which Andy Gray, keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, spotlights the sports photography of yesteryear, a time when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable....
Here's Someone Else Who Says Robbie Alomar Has HIV
When an ex accused Alomar of knowingly exposing her to HIV, his then-girlfriend defended him. A year later, that girlfriend is now his wife, and she's divorcing him and accusing him of doing the HIV thing again. [NY Post]...
Did A Jets PR Person Act As Liaison Between Brett Favre And Jenn Sterger?
Remember this? According to documents we've obtained, Jenn Sterger was contacted by Brett Favre — or by someone she was led to believe was Brett Favre — through an intermediary: Jets media relations manager Jared Winley....
Your On-Time Reds-Phillies Game One Open Thread
One city thinks they've already won the World Series. The other city is just happy to be here. Discuss the harshing of someone's buzz right here....
Browns Now Charging You To Walk Through Parking Lot
And not because many Clevelanders weigh as much as a Kia Forte. No, the traditional tailgating spot for Browns fans is now charging money to enter, even if you're on foot....
This Backheel Goal Is The Best Goal You'll See Today
Our mates over at Off the Post have escalated the The Great Backheel War of 2010 by posting this piece of brilliance from Glentoran's Matty Burrows....
ESPN Producer Caught Beating It Outside A Lady's Window
Win 17 Emmys, and no one calls you "Emmy-winner" Neil Goldberg. Head ESPN's NASCAR coverage, and no one calls you "motorsports guru" Neil Goldberg. But stand on a stool to masturbate to a woman getting dressed just once......
How A Bill Simmons Tweet Ended Up With Randy Moss Being Traded
Fear not. I'm not here to do any tiresome Simmons bashing. I'm just here to recap the rather zany events that led up to Randy Moss getting traded....
Last Night's Winner: Mossholes
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like all those "Patriot Way" fetishists in New England, now freed from the tyranny of watching the greatest deep threat the NFL has ever seen....
Studies Show Legs Aren't Supposed To Bend That Way
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....