il Page 1456 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Joe Cole Is Better Than Lionel Messi, Insists Steven Gerrard
You'd think that footballers would learn from their mistakes. But as sure as the sun sets, eggs is eggs, and as sure as Ashley Cole will inevitably end up with his oozing hands dancing all over the wrong woman's naked body......

Philadelphia Eagles Lineman Doesn't Like It When <em>True Blood</em> Goes Super Gay
Philadelphia Eagles offensive lineman, Todd Herremans, posted this lovely Tweet this morning but then soon realized he may come off like a gay vampire-hating fool. Or, at least, the Eagles did. [Where's Weems?]...

Last Night's Winner: The Return Of Bill Walton
In sports, everyone is a winner — some people just win better than others. Like weird, wonderful ol' Bill Walton, at last healthy again and back to doing the thing he does best: being ridiculous in public....

What In God's Name Is Tim Duncan Doing To That Whale?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Read This: The Pelé-Maradona Rivalry, Explained
The great Brian Phillips, on the Pelé-Maradona rivalry: "Pelé ... offers the child's narrative of sports heroism, an exuberant conquest of a just and welcoming world. Maradona ... represents the adolescent narrative: an unjust world forced to yield to a superior ego."...

Javier Hernandez’s Face Scores Important Goal Against Chelsea
On your first day at work, it's all about keeping your head down, not attracting too much attention to yourself, and definitely not doing anything clumsy/humiliating....

Arrested Colts Lineman Was Drunk, Barefoot, Soiled, In A Ditch
Indianapolis police arrested Colts DT John Gill early Sunday morning after finding him passed out in a ditch, citing him as "disheveled and soiled" in the police report. [AP]...

Phillies Fan Performs Bottlatio
Let it never be said that the No H8 Campaign doesn't have friends in the Phillies bleachers: Seconds 2 thru 6 of this brief video; three/four people up from the bottom right corner....

Baltimore Celebrates Roger Maris' Long Overdue Second Asterisk
Well lookie what happens when the Baltimore Orioles manage to win a few games in a row: They walk big ceremonial checks out at Camden Yards and make a scene about rewritten baseball history....

Ref: The Steelers Probably Wouldn't Have Won Super Bowl XL Without Me
Remember when the Seattle Seahawks totally got jobbed out of a Super Bowl trophy? Referee Bill Leavy does. Here's what he said during a lil chat with the Seattle media yesterday:...

Jeremy Shockey, Multitasking In A Port-A-Potty
Portable toilet passing drills seem to be all the rage, with the Chiefs and Saints both taking advantage of, um, doors that close, to cut down on reaction time. Things went horribly wrong when linemen simultaneously used the johns as tackling dummies. [via RandBall]...

Breaking News: Shaq Is Old, You Are Too
Mitchell & Ness, purveyors of vintage jerseys, are now selling the O'Neal 94-95 jersey as part of their Hardwood Classics series....

Private Stache: Brett Favre And The Breakfast Of Champions
As keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, Andy Gray spends a lot of his time sifting through the sports photography of another time, when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable. Here is one such photo....

Cockblocked by Cassiopeia! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Lady Footballer In Humiliating Handball Mix Up!
As embarrassing mistakes go, this one is up there with accidentally calling your teacher "Mummy", or unknowingly leaving your flies open during a bumpy bus journey....

<em>Sun-Times</em> Going Hard On UK's Pay-For-Play Recruit
The paper reported rumors, that highly-prized Anthony Davis accepted $200,000 to choose Kentucky. UK's lawyers got involved, and the editors pulled the paragraph...for a day. Now the Sun-Times is fighting back, with more detailed, sourced allegations. This should be fun....

Last Night's Winner: The Case For Robot Umpires
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the fallibility of man, or at least of third base umpire Bob Davidson, whose blown call cost the Marlins the game....

How To Shoot A Shark In The Head
"I'm scared," squeals a child as the executioner brings his revolver to bear on the 7-foot bull shark, Nguyễn Ngọc Loan-style. Smile, you son of a— [via AnimalNY]...

I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream For Free Readings
Hey, New Yorkers: it's time for another portion of Gelf magazine's Varsity Letters series of free readings. Tonight at 7:30: gambling, bodybuilding, and The Girl Who Struck Out Babe Ruth. That's 7:30, DUMBO, and free....

Tarvaris Jackson: I'm Super, Thanks For Asking
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: potential Vikings starter Tarvaris Jackson....