il Page 1470 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

ESPN And FarmVille Joining Forces To Annoy The Absolute Piss Out Of Everyone Everywhere
Oh, look. Sports Business Journal's Eric Fisher found a Horrifyingly Large Turd on his farm to share with his friends! "One of new ESPN social media games will be ESPNUville, their take on ultrapopular FarmVille....." [@EricFisherSBJ]...

Two Very Different Approaches To Honoring Your Contract
Houston's Andre Johnson wants to re-negotiate his seven-year contract that has five years remaining on it. Oguchi Onyewu wants to play for AC Milan so badly, he'll do it for free. Who is the dummy and who is the hero?...

Knicks To Woo LeBron James With C-List Celebrities
Chicago may be willing to hire the ultimate franchise-killer in order to lure LeBron James to their clutches, but they can't compete with the raw star power of New York's sort-of-recognizable personalities pleading on their behalf....

Columnist Who Likened Flyers To Nazis Is Surprised When Philly Fans Slash His Tires
Since the smart money has the Stanley Cup going West, at least the Habs and Flyers can battle it out for the title of North America's most property destructin-est fanbase. Round one goes to Philly....

Paraguayan Soccer Player Rockets In 45-Yard Free Kick
For anyone not satiated by the Lionel Messi goalapalooza from earlier, here is another goal video from a funnily named player in a sports league in a country with which you're vaguely familiar. Somebody buy that man a Baviera. [Goal.com]...

Sharks GM Has Competitively Attractive Daughter
San Jose Sharks GM Doug Wilson's daughter, the absurdly named Lacey, competed in last night's Miss USA competition. So that's why the Sharks were so on edge during Game 1 and couldn't solve the Rubik's Cube that is Chicago goalie Antti Niemi....

Messi Scores 47 Goals…And Here’s ALL Of Them!
And so Lionel Messi equaled a scoring record — held also by hamster-faced Ronaldo — by helping himself to another couple in yesterday's match. The internet beavers have since been working away, and above is some proof of their toil....

Weekend Winner: The LeBron Combo
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like John Calipari, who is allegedly being shopped around as part of a package deal with James....

One-Eyed Funnyman Steve Nash Responds to Phil Jackson's "Nash Carries the Ball" Dig
"I've never heard anyone accuse me of carrying it...I mean, the best coach in the league, Gregg Popovich, didn't have a problem with it last week." Bam! Man, I can't wait until this series actually starts, sometime in mid-June....

ESPN Wins The Courtship Of Bill Simmons
Bill Simmons is close to re-upping with ESPN, people familiar with the situation say, putting an end to speculation that he might head for a competitor or strike out on his own when his contract expires at year's end....

Visanthe Shiancoe Wants To Show The World He's More Than Just A Wagging Dong
Yahoo!'s Michael Silver does a double entendre-filled profile on Vikings' tight end Visanthe Shiancoe, who's working hard to overcome his internet long-comings....

Hockey
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Ridiculous Rumors Started By Internet Varmints: Delonte West Banged LeBron's Mom
Any minute now, you're going to get a "FWD: fwd: FWD" email that purports to have originated with a guy whose "uncle is the general contractor at the Q" and who has it on good authority that West is tagging LBJ's mom....

Penis-Curious News Anchor Responds
Michael HIll, news anchor for New Orleans's ABC affiliate and a man with a penchant for wonderfully awkward questions, has seen our post and writes in to say he does indeed know from banter. E-mail after the jump....

Private Stache: LeBron Half-Naked In A Cornfield. We Are All Witnesses.
As keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, Andy Gray spends a lot of his time sifting through the sports photography of another time, when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable. Here is one such photo....

The Condom Follies. GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

The Spoiler Prize For Best Individual Performance…
… Goes to… Lionel Messi! Yes, not long now until the season is totally over. Just a couple of minor cup competitions to wrap up....

Live Chat With Doug Glanville
Doug's down in the comments, for the next hour or so. Buy the book, ask him stuff, then buy the book again....

Excerpt From <em>The Game From Where I Stand</em>: "Don't You Want A Sammy Sosa Body?"
The following is taken from chapter 8 of Doug Glanville's "The Game From Where I Stand." Read it, buy the book, and chat with Doug in a followup post at 2pm....

Bill Self To Dance, Dance, Dance The Night Away For Charity
The Hoops Doctors uncovered this video of a leisure-suited Bill Self promoting an upcoming charity event, to be held in Kansas City....