il Page 1491 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Confused Sports Radio Guy Thinks That I, Napkin Gladwell, Photographed Venus Williams's "Goods"
Look here, Rob Buska, whoever you are. I am Napkin Gladwell, journalist and bestselling author of books people read on airplanes. I am not a photographer. I am not in Australia. And I was certainly not "snapping" Venus Williams's "goods."...

Javaris Crittenton Pleads Guilty To Gun Charge, Gets Probation
The Washington Wizards guard plead guilty to a misdemeanor weapons charge today—as opposed to the felony weapons charge handed to Gilbert Arenas—and will get one year of probation and a fine. Don't worry, it gets weirder....

Ryan Miller: Party Animal
This should cheer you up. While visiting San Jose, the Buffalo Sabres were booked in the same hotel as a furry convention. (That happens a lot, apparently.) [Thanks to Chris B. for the photo.]...

Venus Williams Is Angry People Still Think She's Playing Without Underwear
Venus, annoyed by the coverage of her possible commando-ness, explained on Twitter that, yes, she's wearing underwear: "I am wearing undershorts the same color as my skin, so it gives the slits in my dress the full effect!" But......

Stories That Don't Suck: Mushnick When He Mattered, Erich Segal (OO MAH SOUL!), MLK
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....

Open Thread: Texas-UConn, Arkansas-Kentucky, Oklahoma State-KSU, Duke-Clemson, Etc.
Last one of the day. Suggested topic for discussion: the incredible fact that West Georgia's athletics program used 119 ineligible athletes from 2004-09. Someone get these guys in Conference USA....

Mark Sanchez Graduates From Poise To Chutzpah
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Excerpts From "Underlying Ass(ets): What Venus Williams's Bottom Tells Us About Credit Default Swaps"
Napkin Gladwell is a journalist and bestselling author of books people read on airplanes. He occasionally provides Deadspin with excerpts of his upcoming essays....

Cockblocked by Justin Long! Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Tooth Fairy Turns To NHL Gold Mine
Flyers goon Ian Laperrière had seven replacement teeth stolen en route to tonight's game. This reminds me of a horrible dream I had about a stupid movie starring the Rock. What do you mean, that's a real thing? [via The700Level]...

Tebows' Super Bowl Ad Will Be Carried To Term, Apparently
CBS has approved a script for that 30-second spot Tim Tebow and his mom are doing for spanky Jim Dobson's Focus on the Family. It will not have an "overt" pro-life message, MediaDailyNews reports. Get out those decoder pins! [MediaDailyNews]...

What Is Wrong With Our Fragile NFL Kickers?
There is an excellent chance that one of the two monumental playoff games this Sunday will hinge on a crucial field goal attempt—and an even better chance that whoever is asked to kick it will miss....

Last Night's Winner: Anti-Tobacco Activists
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like people who can't decide which Durham-area basketball team they hate more. The Tar Heels or the Dukies? Now it's easier than ever to do both!...

Poor Chan Gailey Can't Even Get Respect From Closed Captioning
Chan Gailey made light of his under-the-radar status in the NFL's coaching mechanical horsey ride, but it appears the TV robot felt obligated to add a little more pizazz to the Bills' humdrum choice....

Sports Fella Summons His Inner Black Guy For LeBron James Column, With Humorous Results
Bill Simmons watched LeBron James play basketball in person and he's very excited about it. We're talking 3,144 words of excitement and awe and Witnessing. Then he some how managed to go overboard beyond his usual overboarding....

Oh, Go F*ck Yourself, Curt Schilling
"They were up three games to none," Schilling tells Bryan Curtis, analogizing Massachusetts' special election to that one year when he had an owie on his foot, "and there was no possible way they were going to lose four straight."...

You Might Have A Death Wish If You Want A Career in Big Time College Coaching
"Nearly every Division I head coach puts in more than 100-hour weeks during the season and heavy recruiting periods. If anything, it's amazing more coaches haven't suffered heart attacks or more serious ailments as a result of stress..."[SI]...

Northwestern Fan Explains Tiger's Masturbatory Lockdown To America
In a bizarre twist, Deadspin's Northwestern University Basketball Columnist Benoit Denizet-Lewis has become the go-to guy for Tiger Woods sex rehab details and this morning's SportsCenter prevailed upon him to break it down for their viewers. Today's lesson: celibacy contracts....

Here's Kimbo Slice And Elton John, Just Because
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Did Venus Go Commando?
The most pressing question of our time is, naturally, was Venus Williams wearing underwear at the Australian Open yesterday? We dig deep, breaking down the footage, to give you a definitive answer....