il Page 1505 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Soon We'll Just Make Him Attorney General
A new team, a new jurisdiction; Shaq has applied to become a deputy sheriff in Cleveland. This shows me he's entirely unfamiliar with the city, which was long ago abandoned to lawlessness. [AP]...

World Series, Game Two: Can't Find A Better Yankee?
Pearl Jam is spending this week in residence at the Spectrum and conveniently offering "ring girl" updates for grungy Phillies fans who temporarily chose rock over baseball. Sell outs....

Waiting In Line For The Sports Guy
ESPN's Bill Simmons brought his "The Book of Basketball" signing tour to annoying East Village bar Professor Thom's last night and our NYC Deadspin operatives waited in line so we wouldn't have to. Bless their little hearts....

Phillies Steal Game One (Robble, Robble)
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

The Top Story This Morning: Holy Crap, The Umps Got One Right
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

2009 World Series, Game One: It Begins
It's time to start the Greatest World Series Matchup Ever Imagined. Unless you hate the Yankees. Or the Phillies. Or Derek Jeter. Or if you're from Cleveland. But everyone else is going to love it....

I-TEAM Assemble! Assignment: Sports Fella
Going to the Bill Simmons book signing in NYC tonight? Pictures, stories, and other nonsense welcome. We'd do it ourselves, but ... um. Yeah. [Photo via]...

A Breakdown Of Feigned Rivalry
It's been two whole news cycles since we found out the World Series matchup. Time for every paper in each city to take childish potshots at the other side....

Danny Snyder Doesn’t Like You Telling Him How Much He Blows
Time for your Deadspin Open Mailbag Tuesday. Email us here or submit your questions via Twitter. This week, we're covering urine foam, Halloween costumes, whistling, ketchup packets, and mid-cooking cooking....

Phillies Female Fan Offers Sexual Favors In Exchange For WS Tickets
These stories seem to pop up every year, most of them on Craig's List ads. It figures a Phillies fan would be the one who actually gets busted for it. Come on, Mom! [PhillyBurbs, MyFoxPhilly]...

Malcolm Gladwell Demands Bill Simmons Be An NBA GM
Bill Simmons' new doorstop of a book arrives in stores tomorrow. In a canny move, he had Malcolm Gladwell pen the foreword. And what does Fry Guy do in that foreword?...

Brad Childress Is The Ugliest Dame You’ll Ever See
Fucking Brad Childress. Only this prick would decline an offsides penalty on first down to take a seven-yard gain. Or dress like a woman on the flight to Pittsburgh to motivate his team. Wait, what?...

Breaking: Rick Reilly® Makes Another Dental Joke
Reilly®, doing the dumb "Nick Swisher loosens up the Yankees" story that everyone got out of his system in April, notes, "Swisher is a guy who won't stop laughing even when he brushes his teeth." Chew on that. [ESPN]...

Brooke Hundley Gets The Lewinsky Treatment
"The biggest reason this is in the news," CBSSports.com's Gregg Doyel said on CNN yesterday, apropos the Steve Phillips saga, "is because she's not real good looking." She isn't? I hadn't heard. People are usually so delicate about such things....

Steve Phillips Fired By ESPN (Updated)
Just days after being outed for having an affair with a younger co-worker, Baseball Tonight analyst and former-Met GM Steve Phillips has been fired by ESPN....

Shaq's Brain Having Some Growing Pains
With, oh, two days before the season starts, O'Neal is still having a little trouble memorizing the playbook. Seen on Mike Brown's flash cards: "Stand in the paint. Draw two defenders. Stay out of LeBron's way." [Plain Dealer]...

I Choose To Believe This Could Be True
The old "friend-of-a-friend" pipeline says Michael Vick was spotted buying a bag of dog food at a Philadelphia CVS. Incriminating rumor, or comedy jumping-off point for Internet commenters? [Style Points]...

Is It Time For The "Is Hockey Too Violent" Debate Already? (UPDATE)
In a sport where players and fans prize bonecrushing hits, everyone pretends to be surprised when one of those hits sends someone to the hospital. Let the hand wringing commence....

Um, Gotta Support The Team?
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

The One Where Everyone Starts Yelling About ESPN Horndoggery
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....