il Page 1529 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

<em>Sports Illustrated</em>'s Many, Many Chosen Ones
Here's the cover of the new Sports Illustrated, in which 16-year-old Bryce Harper is declared the "Chosen One." Sound familiar? It should....

Dallas Cowboys Get What They Want, When They Want It
Irving, Texas, officials possibly suspect that the Cowboy's practice bubble that collapsed last month may have lacked some structure integrity. (Ya think?) They're fairly confident, however, that anyone other than the Cowboys would never have been allowed to build it....

Serena Williams Bounced From French Open
A three-set loss to Svetlana Kuznetsova. So both Williams sisters, Maria Sharapova, the chick with the giant rack, and the shrieking girl are out of the French Open. It's almost like they're daring you to pay attention. [Roland Garros]...

Vicente Padilla Is Good At Making People, Androids Angry
Mark Teixeira after his double-plunk from Padilla: "Unfortunately, that guy has been doing it his whole career. Every time I've faced him since there seems to be balls near my head, near my body, and today I got hit twice. There's really no reason for it." [DMN]...

FIGJAM Returns, Some People Depart
This is actually good news for those who like golf and story lines ready-made for sports columnists aching to showcase their Nicholas Sparks technique: Phil Mickelson will return to the PGA Tour, including the U.S. Open....

Pretty Girls Make Easy Targets
A good portion of Americans join softball leagues this time of the year. Many do it for the social aspect alone, which leaves many teams stockpiled with players who are ridiculously awful....

What Is Wrong With Our Fragile Baseball Players?
Khalil Greene has been placed on the disabled list with an unspecified "social anxiety disorder" making him at least the third major leaguer to miss significant time with a similar complaint. That, my friends, is a TREND ALERT! So what the heck is going on here?...

<em>Sports Illustrated South Africa</em> Distances Itself From Hitlery Ad Campaign
Remember that rather gauche Sports Illustrated South Africa fake-cover ad campaign? The one with Der Führer getting the ol' SI jinx dropped on his head? Well, the magazine now claims it didn't like the ads, either....

I Wonder What Kind Of Clever Anti-Kobe Shirts Orlando Has In Store?
Probably nothing as incendiary as the "Our Turn To Rape Kobe" t-shirt worn by this female Nuggets fan, but I hope for the best. Although it's probably highly unlikely if any Magic fans share the diminutive right brain size of Orlando Sentinel columnist Mike Bianchi....

Female Tennis Star With Prodigious Backside Accuses Opponent Of Cheating
"Drama" was the word Serena Williams used after her French Open match against Maria Jose Martina Sanchez. Williams claims Sanchez used her arm instead of a racket to return a ball over the net, prompting a finger-pointing outburst and introspection....

Who Wouldn't Want A Mo Williams Tall Tee?
Alex is the biggest Cavaliers fan that he knows, and he prefers to wear his passion in the form of homemade clothing dotted with references to LeBron's Team....

Jim Leyritz Fans, Cancel That Flight To Newark
"Jim Leyritz won't be honored Sunday afternoon by the Newark Bears, after all. The former Yankee, who had been scheduled to appear as part of a Legends Sunday promotion by the team, will be replaced by Roy White." The power of the press! [The Star-Ledger]...

This Time On Twitter, Calipari Apologizes
John Calipari atones for his daughter, Erin, who he says — err, tweets — got "a little over-zealous in defending her daddy's honor." Then he apologizes, presumably to Pat Forde. "We all have our jobs to do and none of them are easy," he writes. Or tweets. Whatever. [Twitter]...

Why Your Stadium Sucks: AT&T Park
This is a new weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: The San Francisco Giants' AT&T Park....

Rugby Player Guilty Of Manslaughter After On-Field Hit
A high school rugby player in Canada was convicted of manslaughter after he engaged in some "extracurriculars" as they like to say—or "a brutal unprovoked attack" depending on your point of view—that accidentally killed an opposing player. Should the fact that they were playing rugby make any differ...

No, We're Suing You!
University of Kentucky is countersuing Billy Gillispie saying that he's a stupid head who can't even write his own name. (Also something about jurisdiction and picking the wrong defendant.) Gillispie's lawyers plan to counter with the popular "takes one to know one" defense. [ESPN]...

<em>Sports Illustrated South Africa</em>'s Quirky New Ad Campaign: Black Panthers, Hitler
It can't be easy marketing an American-style sports magazine in a country only 15 years removed from apartheid, which is probably why Sports Illustrated South Africa feels the need to give the hard sell now. By which I mean, Hitler....

"No Sign Of Any Spirits" In This Milwaukee Hotel
"A player for the Dodgers has been known to sleep with a baseball bat for protection after hearing odd noises. And two pairs of Florida Marlins players reportedly demand to share a room... because they're afraid of ghosts." Sure, blame your losses to the Brewers on a haunted hotel. [WISN]...

Trademark Wit: Rick Reilly Has Officially Turned Himself Into A Brand
Have a look at Rick Reilly's latest. Notice anything new? No, silly, it's not the jokes. Look closer....
