il Page 1632 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Cubs Are Iguchied, Drop One Game Back Of Brewers
No first place for you, Chicago Cubs. Oh, why, why? (Bangs head against refrigerator). The Philadelphia Phillies, bolstered just before game time with the addition of pitcher Kyle Lohse from the Reds (6-12, 4.58 ERA, tiny, ill-advised goatee), beat the Cubs 4-1 on Monday. The loss dropped Chicago to...
R.I.P. Bill Walsh
As you've surely heard by now, legendary 49ers head coach Bill Walsh has died. He was 75 years old, which is older than we realized; something about the guy always seemed young to us....
What Not To Do With A Golf Cart
An absolutely bizarre story from Citizens Bank Park in Philadelphia, and proof that you should always be careful with your golf carts....
Dysfunctional Relationship Between Bonds, Road Fans, Resumes
Well, if Barry can't break Hank's home run record at home, it might as well be his home-away-from-home, amongst his good friends at Dodger Stadium. Hey! Who threw that Dodger Dog? Actually, I'm interested to see what the reaction will be at Chavez Ravine this week, as the Giants begin a series there...
ArenaBowl XXI: San Jose Vs. Columbus
If you're already bored of baseball legends talking about "AA ball" and "Ted Williams using their bats as toothpicks," may I remind you that later this afternoon (3 p.m.) ABC is airing ArenaBowl XXI — The Small-to-Medium Game! ™...
Santana Fumbles With Indians' Bra-Strap
Twins ace Johan Santana flirted with a no-no into the sixth, until Indians pretty boy Grady Sizemore turned on the lights and told him, "Um, you should probably get going now, Johan." (Grady hit a double.) Damn cock tease. Final score: Twins 3, Indians 2....
Milt Stegall Sets CFL Touchdown Record
You may not know this, but the Gawker Overlords have me hooked up to this machine that electrocutes me every time I even thi— BUZZ! Ah! Dammit! Every time I even think about posting a CFL stor— BUZZ! Shit! Story. But guess wha— BUZZ! Ouch! I don't care. Milt Stegall— BUZZ! Milt Stegall deserves his ...
You Still Got That Little BB In Your Eye, Kornacki?
You'd think having to cover the Kansas City Royals was a pain in the ass as it is when ... BAM! A pellet-gun bullet straight to the face! Jesus, Emil! Watch where you point that thing!...
One Swing From History
Whoa, boy! I'm starting to get all antsy ... Barry Bonds hit his 754th career homerun — a first inning solo shot in a Giants 12-10 win over the Marlins last night— leaving him just one shy of tying Hank Aaron's record....
The Ballad Of Manny And Lefty
Well, it was bound to happen ... a columnist has mentioned "Boston Red Sox" and "Phil Mickelson" in the same sentence. Send all brickbats, white-powdered missives and death curses to Michael Ventre, who went ahead and declared the Red Sox "The Phil Mickelson of baseball." Wow....
Curt Schilling Is Full Of Opinions!
We really want to like Curt Schilling, we really do. We admire his site and can't deny his ability to raise his game at the most important of moments. But man: Sometimes we really wish he'd just be quiet....
Fausto, Sans Devil, Beats Beckett
Faustus is Latin for "auspicious" ... so Fausto must mean the same thing, maybe? My spanish is not adequate. Remember when the Indians wanted to make Fausto Carmona a closer? Oh, those wacky coaches. The last time Carmona faced the Red Sox — last season — he blew two consecutive save opportunities. ...
Dice-K And The Red Sox: Part Of This Complete Breakfast
The resignation on Bud Selig's face, and the fact that he's packed his giant swimming trunks, must mean that he's given in and will follow Barry Bonds around for a month or so until Hank's record is broken. So with that crisis solved, we can turn our attention to happier things ... super, terrific f...
Some Inspiring News For A Change, OK?
Forgive me for skipping the lovefest that is Bonds vs. Aaron today (no homers, Giants lose to Braves if you must know). All things being equal, I would have much rather attended Boston's 6-2 win over the Indians at Jacobs Field, because Jon Lester started for the Sox, went six innings and earned the...
Andrew Bogut, Looking Even Dumber
What you see right here is something that you cannot unsee: It's how Bucks center Andrew Bogut has decided to wear his hair now....
This Donaghy Situation Is Not Likely To Improve
Some may believe this scandal isn't as large as it seems, but we have to disagree. Donaghy, who's scheduled to give himself up to the feds as early as today or tomorrow, might very well spill the beans about some other scandals, and if this thing explodes any farther, well, the whole league could be...
Bonds Planning To Break Aaron's Record In Private, Backyard Ceremony
Our story so far: Barry Bonds is two home runs away from tying Hank Aaron's career home run record, a situation which makes the lightning bolt scar on my forehead throb and burn like fire, but that's beside the point. Bonds sat out Sunday's game in Milwaukee, which the Brewers won 7-5. Meanwhile, Bu...
Confirmed Family Man Is Having a Good Weekend
Alex Rodriguez tallied his 497th career homerun during a day/night doubleheader curb-stomping of those pesky D-Rays. The Yankees one won the first game by four runs, a fairly respectable margin. Once the sun went down shit got ugly—17-5 ugly. Luis Vizcaino got the win in both games and Shelley Dunca...
The Night Time Is The Right Time
It's been confirmed that David Beckham will not start tonight in his debut with the LA Galaxy, however he has indicated that he will suit up and play. The questions remaining are at what point will he enter the game, and how long will his tender pussy ankle allow him to go on. Blah blah blah. The re...
Sergio Garcia Retains Lead At Carnoustie; Enjoys a Michelob
The last time The Open Championship strolled through Carnoustie Sergio Garcia looked like a an overwhelmed high school player who struggled to break 90 both days. Eight years later he's back in Scotland and he's just one round away from becoming this year's wire-to-wire champion. There's no question...