il Page 796 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Beefy Baseball Hero Willians Astudillo Unabashedly Admires The Hell Out Of His Handiwork
When last we checked on large lad Willians Astudillo, he was hoofing it from first to home with the crazed eyes and petrified rictus of a man being chased by wolves. It’s cold now, and dark, and the things of summer are but painful memories, but it turns out baseball is being played somewhere, and w...
Jean Lopez, Previously Banned After Multiple Reports of Abusing Taekwondo Athletes, Can Coach Again
Less than a year after the U.S. Center for SafeSport declared that it was banning Jean Lopez from taekwondo for a “decades long pattern of sexual misconduct,” the center has said Lopez can go back to coaching. Today, SafeSport notified Heidi Gilbert and Kay Poe, who had reported to SafeSport that Lo...
Brook "Splash Mountain" Lopez Can Now Put A Game Away From 28 Feet
As the NBA shifts almost unilaterally towards a threes-and-layups utopia, scores of big men trained in the old ways have been left behind, collecting dust as relics of an era where low-post scoring was actually worth pursuing. Roy Hibbert, Zach Randolph, Greg Monroe... these dinosaurs have either be...
Tua Tagovailoa Throws Two Touchdowns To Two Teams In First Three Minutes Of National Championship Game
Tonight’s national championship game got off to a hot start—or, anyway, it got off to a hot start after Clemson ran through a jittery three-and-out on the game’s opening possession. Following Clemson’s punt, two quick rhythm completions had Alabama in business near midfield, but Tua Tagovailoa teleg...
The Next Step For Elite Gymnasts Is To Form A Union
At the beginning of November, the USOC announced that it was taking the first step towards decertifying USA Gymnastics. This was a direct if belated response to the national governing body having spent two years repeatedly failing in virtually every facet related to the Larry Nassar sex abuse scanda...
UFC Fighter Polyana Viana Whooped The Ass Of A Man Who Tried To Rob Her
UFC strawweight Polyana Viana was waiting for a cab in front of her apartment in Rio De Janeiro last weekend, when she says a man sat next to her and tried to steal her phone. According to Viana, the man asked her the time, then told her to give up the phone and threatened her with a gun. Viana real...
The Spanish Call Of Cody Parkey's Double-Doink Is Very, Very Good
Rickie Ricardo is the Spanish radio play-by-play guy for the Eagles (and, weirdly, the Yankees). He was in fine form Sunday evening, as Philly survived and advanced on a missed field goal by Cody Parkey. “I almost had a heart attack,” Ricardo tweeted of Parkey’s kick that banged off the upright, the...
Cody Parkey's Double-Doink Was Tipped
This is what the aftermath sounded like to Cody Parkey:...
Cody Parkey Double-Doinked And Kept The Nick Foles Magic Alive<em></em>
With ten seconds left in the game against Philadelphia, Bears kicker Cody Parkey somehow hit the goalpost and the crossbar on a 43-yard field goal attempt that would have eliminated the Eagles from the playoffs. The double-doinked kick was not good, and big-dicked god-king Nick Foles survived anothe...
Bears Complete 30-Yard Pass For No Gain As Officials Recover Fumble
The Eagles-Bears game got weird right before halftime when Eagles cornerback Cre’Von Leblanc wrested the ball from Bears receiver Anthony Miller in an impressive display of strength. The play was initially ruled an incompletion, but the inhuman standard of slow motion showed that Miller caught the b...
Philip Rivers To Injured Matthew Judon: "That's What You Get!"
Philip Rivers has not taken too kindly to the type of hits he’s been on the receiving end of against the Baltimore Ravens’ defense. He vented his frustration to Matthew Judon near the end of the first half when the linebacker got hurt after getting another post-throw hit in on Rivers. After the whis...
The Seahawks Forgot They Had Russell Wilson Until It Was Too Late<em></em>
After an offseason roster purge, the Seahawks put together a playoff push even though they ran the ball more than they threw it—an unconventional approach in today’s NFL. Russell Wilson thrived nonetheless, thanks to his mastery of the deep ball and his ability to throw with unreal accuracy into tig...
Zion Williamson Compensates For Brutal Airball With Gorgeous 360 Dunk<em></em><em></em>
Duke is cruising at home against Clemson tonight, and Zion Williamson is taking advantage of the blowout to test the more extreme possibilities that playing basketball holds. First, he attempted a three—he’s gone 4-for-21 from behind the arc over 13 games—and barely grazed the bottom of the net....
The Houston Texans Are Pure Frauds, No Matter Who's Playing Quarterback
Two interminable streaks were on the line today in Houston: the Texans’ unbroken history of playoff humiliations, and Deshaun Watson not having lost a game by more than one score since high school. The fragrance of ass that exudes from the Texans and Bill O’Brien was more powerful by far, as the Col...
You May Be Shocked To Learn Which 76er Is Reportedly Causing Problems Behind The Scenes
“Around the [Philadelphia 76ers] organization, there’s an urgency for [Brett] Brown and his coaching staff to stabilize the situation,” according to a report today by ESPN’s Ramona Shelburne and Adrian Wojnarowski. But which situation is that? You’re not gonna believe this, but it’s the situation of...
Come On, Kawhi Leonard Can't Blame The Media For This
Kawhi Leonard played in San Antonio last night for the first time since being traded from the Spurs to the Raptors, and he was booed heartily every time he touched the ball. The home crowd even whipped up enough bile to hit him with a “Traitor!” chant while he was shooting free throws. Leonard, some...
DeMar DeRozan Kicked The Raptors' Asses In A Sweet Revenge Game
Well that was decisive. The home crowd was bloodthirsty, the Spurs were aggressive as hell, and the Raptors were evidently not ready for all the intensity. Kawhi’s ballyhooed return to San Antonio was mostly a big old dud, and the Raptors were routed, by the score of 125–107....
The Spurs And Their Fans Are Out For Blood
Spurs fans wasted no time ending the mystery of how Kawhi Leonard would be received in San Antonio in his first post-trade visit, booing the shit out of him every time he touched the ball during pregame warmups. The Spurs were reportedly on the fence about showing a Kawhi tribute video tonight, conc...
The Pac-12 Has Been Historically Shitty This Season
Even before a stress fracture brought teenage giant Bol Bol’s short, eventful college career to an abrupt end, things have been incredibly bleak for Pac-12 men’s basketball this year. There have been dumb scandals (the dull kind, not the fun kind), disappointments, and most of all, a bunch of sad lo...