il Page 807 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Dr. Z's Lesser-Known Book Was One Of The Truest Things About Football Ever Written<em></em>
Longtime football writer Paul Zimmerman, better known as Dr. Z, died today at age 86, his former colleague Peter King announced. Zimmerman hadn’t written for years due to a series of strokes, but for a time he was one of the best football writers out there and worth remembering today. Here’s what I ...
Gregg Williams Is Really Gonna Stick With This "Everyone Wanted To Hire Me" Bit, Huh
Browns defensive coordinator and interim head coach Gregg Williams, who preserved his job and earned a promotion simply by being the least bad of Cleveland’s three senior coaches, wants you to know he doesn’t have to be here. Other teams have been falling over themselves to hire Gregg Williams, best...
How Many Times Can Simone Biles Fall And Still Win Gold?
That Simone Biles was going to win the all-around title at the 2018 world championships was something of a foregone conclusion even before the competition in Doha started. The only question was, by how many points? But by the third rotation, she had raised an unexpected additional question: How many...
Chris Simms Recalls The Time Vince Wilfork Busted Up His Genitals Real Good
Former NFL quarterback Chris Simms, who famously got his spleen exploded during a game, went on Mike Florio’s radio show today and shared the story of a different time in which he was grievously and spectacular injured by a big hit....
A Truly Brilliant Solution To The Problem Of People Wearing Non-Spooky Halloween Costumes
Recently my wife told me I would enjoy meeting a friend of hers, who she described as “a big Halloween person.” When I asked what made this friend a big Halloween person, she told me this friend made her own superhero Halloween costume from scratch this year. And I, a punctilious dickweed, skipped r...
Hall Of Famer Willie McCovey Dies At 80
San Francisco Giants legend and Baseball Hall of Famer Willie McCovey died today in a Bay Area hospital after losing what his former team called a “long battle with many health issues.” He was 80 years old....
The Sacramento Kings Are, Uh, Fine? Maybe?
Okay, so, here we are, eight games into the NBA season, and the Sacramento Kings are 5-3. Sure, it’s early, and sure, the Kings have had decent starts before only to collapse into piles of shit. All the usual caveats apply, and the Kings could very easily turn back into a pumpkin when the clock stri...
How Long Can The Sixers Experiment With Markelle Fultz?
The Philadelphia 76ers are now 4-4 after last night’s 129-112 loss to the Toronto Raptors, which counts as something of a disappointing start for a team that roared through the second half of last season to finish 52-30. Last year’s Sixers finished the season with the fourth-best net rating in the l...
The Browns Are Being The Browns
Happy Halloween from Emergency Football Show Weekly! This week Dom and I discuss the Browns’ coaching changes, why morning NFL games are so great (Dom—and West Coasters—may disagree), Michael Dickson’s fourth-down run and Todd Gurley’s decision to go down before scoring a touchdown. Enjoy!...
Here's A Connor McDavid Highlight
Remember those three days earlier this month when it was acceptable to ask if Auston Matthews had caught up to Connor McDavid? That was fun, like that very strange month in 2012 when some otherwise smart and reasonable people claimed that Claude Giroux was the best player in the world. Both of those...
Bills Fan Faces Stiff Punishment After Cops Pegged Him As Dildo-Thrower
Police were pretty hard on Florida man Michael Abdallah, 34, who was arrested for throwing a dildo on the field during the Patriots-Bills game on Monday. The cops reportedly used security camera footage and eyewitness accounts to grab Abdallah; then they squeezed him for $250 in cash or $1,000 in b...
The Cavs Can Even Screw Up The Firing Of A Lousy Head Coach
What a weird, awkward situation they’re brewing up in Cleveland. The Cavs fired head coach Tyronn Lue Sunday morning, apparently without establishing whether their intended interim replacement was willing to accept the job, and now they appear to be gearing up the tank. Kevin Love is dead; they’ve s...
Kawhi Leonard Pestered Ben Simmons Into The Bad Kind Of Triple-Double
Ben Simmons, who can’t shoot worth shit, had the bad kind of triple-double Tuesday night, registering 11 turnovers against 11 points and 10 assists. This isn’t an especially rare feat in the NBA—Basketball Reference says it has happened 81 other times since 1977—although Simmons’s 21 combined points...
You Can't Escape The Peterman
Gather round, if you dare, and enjoy this very scary story on Devil’s Night....
Bleacher Report Accidentally Owns Ice Cream Shop Harry Giles Is Supposed To Like
Bleacher Report published a profile of Sacramento Kings center Harry Giles that opened with the most hackneyed profile technique of all time: the subject eating. This particular eating scene, however, also included 300 words of what amounted to a kind of press release about the company that makes th...
The Booger Mobile Has Been Taken Down A Notch
For Monday Night Football games, analyst Booger McFarland is placed in a large contraption that strafes the field so he can get a view of the action that he could more or less get from a sideline camera. The Booger Mobile’s value to the TV viewer is debatable, but what’s clear is that it really aggr...
The U.S. Women Are So Good, They Can Afford To Experiment
For a brief moment during today’s women’s team finals at the 2018 world gymnastics championships in Doha, it seemed like a country outside of the traditional three—the U.S., Russia, and China—would grab a team medal. These were the standings at the end of the third rotation, with one to go. While th...
Keepers Wield More Than Just Guesswork In The Battle Against Penalty Kicks
Penalty kicks are bad. They’re dramatic and can be a fascinating experience out of context, but we don’t get to experience them out of context. We have to deal with penalties as a clumsy method of deterring fouls in the box and as a makeshift solution to tied games dragging on forever. The fact that...
Ref Kicks Dildo At Bills Game
Bills fans tossing sex toys onto the field is a well-worn bit at this point, as evidenced by the fact that three separate dildos made their way onto the playing surface during last night’s game against the Patriots. It’s probably time for the dildo-tossers to get a new gag, but this one plays as lon...