il Page 940 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Houston Denies ESPN Report, <em></em>Wants Nothing To Do With Former Baylor Coach Art Briles
Less than a week after one of the Baylor officials directly involved in the sexual assault scandal landed a job, another seemed primed to possibly snag one of his own—until the school in question said “fuck that.”...
Your Next Browns Quarterback, Everyone
There are tougher ways to earn $20,000, I guess....
Here Are The World's Most Effective Charities
The holidays are here, which means it’s time for you to make your annual charitable donations in a desperate attempt to cleanse the stains your dark soul has accumulated this year. Below is a thoroughly vetted list of the most effective life-saving charities in the world. ...
Former Chicago Bear Charged For Abuse Of Child Prisoners
A former lineman for the Chicago Bears who became a prison guard is facing nine felony charges in Kane County, Illinois for his role in a scheme to encourage violence amongst inmates at a juvenile correctional facility as a method of self-policing. ...
Report: Indiana To Fire Coach Kevin Wilson For Player Mistreatment
According the a report from the Indianapolis Star, Indiana will announce the dismissal of football head coach Kevin Wilson at a 6:00 p.m. press conference this evening. Both the Star and ESPN have reported that Wilson’s forthcoming termination is the result of off-the-field issues. Shortly after the...
Colombian Fans Come Out In Force To Pay Tribute To Chapecoense After Plane Crash
The Copa Sudamericana final was supposed to be tonight in Medellin, but the game was called off shortly after Brazilian club Chapecoense’s flight went down outside the city. Since the crash, the soccer world has offered tributes to the club, with their fellow Brazilian first division sides even offe...
<i>Gilmore Girls' </i>Paris Geller Deserves A Happier Ending
The nemesiship-turned-friendship between the cultishly beloved Rory Gilmore and her convenient, cantankerous foil Paris Geller in the original seven seasons of Gilmore Girls is a deeply unfeminist parable about how, in order to be likable, smart women must be unfailingly accommodating and utterly un...
Sixers-Kings Game Cancelled After Philadelphia Stadium Sweats All Over Everything
The Sixers were supposed to tip off against the Kings at 7:07 tonight, but instead of some incompetent basketball, fans in Philly were treated to a bunch of dudes mopping a floor for 20 minutes. Officials decided to postpone the game shortly after, but didn’t make an announcement for an hour. The mo...
ESPN: Richie Incognito Is An Iroquois War God
Richie Incognito, the big Buffalo Bills guard whose name you most likely recognize for its association with him being about as awful as a person can be, is still the same guy he’s always been. He’s the guy who called former teammate Jonathan Martin a “half-nigger piece of shit”; who settled a civil ...
County That Is $1 Billion In Debt Goes Looking For Money To Pay For Cavaliers' Arena Renovations
What happens when an NBA team wants to steal tax dollars in order to pay for arena renovations, but the county it wants to steal from is literally out of money? Does the billionaire who owns the team just go ahead and pay for the renovations himself? Of course not!...
Get A Load Of This Ascot-Wearing, Wine-Toting Anti-Trump Philadelphia Vandal
Last week, two men spray painted “FUCK TRUMP!” on the wall of a Philadelphia Fresh Market. (That’s like a cut-rate Whole Foods.) They were a bit haphazard with their vandalism and got caught on security cameras by the grocery store. This is not a particularly notable case on its merits, and would be...
Sam Hinkie Lets It All Out In New<i> Sports Illustrated</i> Profile
Sports Illustrated’s Chris Ballard has just published a profile of former Sixers GM Sam Hinkie. It might be my favorite sports story of the year, and you should go read it immediately, because if you had any lingering doubts about whether Sam Hinkie is really like that, this story will put those dou...
Giannis Antetokounmpo Went Off And Destroyed The Cavaliers
For about a quarter, tonight’s Cavs-Bucks game went about how you’d expect. LeBron James and his pals were tossing audacious passes to each other, slamming the everloving Christ out of the basketball, and helping the Cavs to an easy ten-point lead in the first ten minutes of the game. Instead of rol...
Maybe Not The Best Time To Dap Up Your Friend, J.R. Smith
Jason Terry is a nice guy and a great shooter. Who isn’t amused by his insane sock habits and propensity for bold tattoos? I’d love to chat with him. But the worst possible time for that chat would be right in the middle of a professional basketball game in which I was responsible for playing defens...
Brazilian Soccer Clubs Offer Extensive Support To Chapecoense After Tragic Plane Crash
Brazilian first division club Chapecoense was flying to Medellin last night when their plane went down outside the city, killing 71 of the 77 passengers. The club was flying to Medellin to play Atletico Nacional in the Copa Sudamericana final....
Can You Identify These Animals?
The Gardner Police Department needs your help. The Kansas town set up a bunch of wildlife cameras in a park to try and get footage of a mountain lion. Instead, they got this....
Bodybuilder Decks Official, Flips Tables, And Completely Freaks Out After Losing
This here’s Giannis Magos. He’s a Greek bodybuilder who appears to be about 30 percent tanning oil and anabolic steroids by volume. Magos won his weight class, but finished second overall at a bodybuilding event this weekend in Greece and he lost his shit after finding out he finished second. Specif...
NFL Suspends Bills' Seantrel Henderson, Who Has Used Weed To Treat Crohn's Disease, 10 Games
The NFL has suspended Buffalo Bills offensive lineman Seantrel Henderson 10 games for violating the league’s substance-abuse policy. Henderson, who found out that he had Crohn’s disease in the middle of last season and has played in one preseason game and one regular-season game since, was also susp...
Plane Carrying Brazilian Soccer Team Chapecoense Crashes, Killing 71 Of 77 Passengers (Update)
An airplane on which the Brazilian first-division soccer team Chapecoense was flying crashed near the end of its flight from Bolivia to Colombia last night, reportedly killing nearly everyone onboard in one of the worst air disasters in sports history....