il Page 986 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Here Are Some Good Sport Vines
I love watching sports live, but I also love to relive the magic of a great play or a brutal block over and over again. ...
Some Tragic Displays of Athletic Competition on the <i>Bachelor </i>Franchise
The Bachelor franchise is successful because viewers experience a light but undeniable catharsis from watching other people humiliate themselves. ...
Before We Table the Discussion on Our New Color Guard Uniforms, I've Got a Few Things to Say
Look, I know we picked the new uniforms already. But I’ve been giving the matter a lot of thought for the last decade or so, and I’ve got some thoughts, and now I’ve got a forum, and I think I deserve a hearing!...
Do Some of You People <i>Really</i> Stand Up When You Wipe Your Asses?
PROGRAMMING NOTE: Drew is on vacation, and Jezebel is running Deadspin today. I am running Funbag with a little help from some old Deadspin friends....
A Comprehensive List of All the Sports I Should Have Quit Immediately
I spent my formative years in a sports-obsessed southern town surrounded by girls who were good at sports, girls who loved watching sports, and girls who were good at sports and also loved watching sports. Unfortunately, as an anemic and noodle-bodied sloth with zero competitive instincts who was tr...
Cup Stacking Seems Like a Pretty Chill Sport
According to The New York Times, cup stacking, an event in which people from places like Oregon build a pyramid of cups as fast as humanly possible, is the newest, chillest sport....
Man Surpasses Other Man
A man made a bunch of dunks Thursday night, surpassing another man who’d previously had the most dunks. That’s gotta burn for that second man, the one being surpassed! Oh yeah. ...
Hockey Fans Cannot Stop Themselves From Throwing Thousands of Plastic Rats on the Ice
It’s an incontrovertible rule of nature that if you give a hockey fan something, they will throw it, as far and violently as possible: beer bottles, pretzel chunks, their own teeth, engagement rings, Lindbergh baby, doesn’t matter. Anyway, somebody gave an arena full of hockey fans some rats....
Dunk Contest Competitor Needs To Increase His IHOPs
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DraftKings And FanDuel Suspend College Sports Contests
DraftKings and FanDuel have reached a voluntary agreement with the NCAA to cease all college sports daily fantasy contests, reports ESPN....
This Is The Worst Thing Ever Written About Millennials
Let me preempt you here: You’re right, I probably haven’t read everything written about millennials. Whatever fibers (tendons? nerves?) are strained by eye-rolling wouldn’t be able to handle all that, in my case. And, in fact, I invite you to propose other contenders for this title. But what I’ve go...
Her Orgasm Is Not About You
As a sex therapist, I know that we all struggle with our relationships with sex, and I like to operate from the perspective that empathy and education can cure most issues. But there’s been something bothering me for quite some time now, and there’s no light way to approach this particular topic—one...
Jason Chimera Jabs Shayne Gostisbehere With His Stick
Jason Chimera waited for the right opportunity to deliver a cheap shot on Flyers defenseman Shayne Gostisbehere after the whistle in the second period of Wednesday night’s game. The Capitals winger made sure the nearby linesman wasn’t looking before he put the butt-end of his stick into Gostisbehere...
Just Roy Williams Saying "Doggone," "Daggum," And "Frickin'" A Bunch Of Times
I’ve gotten a good deal of enjoyment out of this video, created by the News & Observer, in which UNC head coach Roy Williams spends 68 seconds saying old-timey grandpa curses: ...
Report: Cops Called Butch Jones Before Searching Home Where Two Players Allegedly Raped A Woman
Phone records obtained today by the Tennessean show the flurry of calls made and received by Tennessee Volunteers head coach Butch Jones on the day in 2014 when a woman said she was raped by two members of his football team....
I Wish I Was This Dog In A Baby Carrier At The Phillies Game
Look at this goddamn dog chilling in his baby carrier at a Phillies spring training game. I have never been more jealous of another living being....
Clinton: You're Too Broke For A Candidate Who Represents You
Here is a hell of a tweet:...
Report: Chip Kelly Threw Eagles Scouts' Hard Work In The Trash
There will not be a bad time to take a swing at former Eagles head coach Chip Kelly. Evan Mathis did it. Other assorted ex-Eagles have done it. In a report by NJ.com’s Matt Lombardo today, a “former member of the front office” says Kelly overrode his scouts’ decisions and literally put their preferr...
Point Giannis To Wreck Shit On A Permanent Basis
Good news for all the Giannis Antetokounmpo fans out there, particularly those of us who have enjoyed the results of Jason Kidd’s “Fuck it, let’s put the 6-foot-11 monster at point guard” experiment. According to Kidd, Antetokounmpo will be the team’s starting point guard next season....
The Deranged True Story Of <i>Heavy Metal Parking Lot</i>, The <i>Citizen Kane</i> Of Wasted Teenage Metalness
Suburban dirtballs of the 1980s are a lost culture, worthy of academic study, that disappeared abruptly, leaving mysterious artifacts for future generations to work over. Think of them as, say, the ancient Mayans, only with mullets....