ill Page 387 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How The Patriots' Defense Put The Rams In A Trash Can
Okay, so Jared Goff looked lost and Sean McVay had no clue how to adjust and the Patriots basically needed just one touchdown drive to win another stinkin’ Super Bowl while also defeating what we all thought was the future of the NFL. So what did New England do that so panicked Goff and McVay? Mostl...
Bill Belichick Stands Athwart The Future
When the most tedious Super Bowl in history had ended and you had picked up your jaw after learning that Tom Brady had not been named the game’s most valuable player out of desperation and habit, you realized that, fittingly, most people did not get what they wanted out of America’s Jesus-Free Chris...
Three Points? Three Goddamn Points?
This motherfucker. This little baby we’ve been hearing about all year. The wunderkind who’s revolutionizing football and forcing owners all over the league to hand their teams over to the first stubbled quarterbacks coach they can find. He scored three points in the Super Bowl!...
Grambling State's Shakyla Hill Somehow Records Second Career Quadruple-Double
A year and a month ago, Shakyla Hill pulled off one of the rarest stat lines in sports: a quadruple-double in high-level basketball. (Her Grambling State team made the Division I NCAA tournament last year.) Her 15 points, 10 rebounds, 10 steals, and 10 assists against Alabama State was the first wom...
Zion Williamson Likes To Spend Time Watching <i>Naruto</i> With His Mom
In the dying minutes of Duke’s 91-61 drubbing of St. John’s, ESPN’s Allison Williams took the time to speak to the mom of Blue Devils standout Zion Williamson, Sharonda Sampson. The interview went through an expected array of topics—Williamson’s burning desire to win, the athleticism he had as a chi...
The NCAA Ruined Silvio De Sousa's College Career Because Of Something He Didn't Do
The NCAA ruled on Friday that Kansas forward Silvio De Sousa was ineligible to play for the remainder of this season, as well as the entirety of the 2019-20 season due to actions of a third party that he had no control over. ...
Report: Gabe Kapler Failed To Report Underage Girl's Assault At Dodgers Spring Training Hotel In 2015
In 2015, a 17-year-old girl told current Phillies manager Gabe Kapler—who was then the Dodgers’ director of player development—that she had been assaulted by two women while drinking in a Dodgers minor leaguer’s spring training hotel room in Glendale, Az., according to a report from the Washington P...
The Knicks Say Kristaps Porzingis Wasn't On Board With Their Plan, Which Is Definitely Not Just A Magic 8-Ball
The Knicks traded away Kristaps Porzingis, taking back Dennis Smith Jr., expiring contracts, and a couple of first-round draft picks, one of which is contingent on the condition of another draft pick, and may finally convey under weird, potentially unappealing circumstances. To hear the Knicks tell ...
Lionel Messi's Tap-In Completes The Platonic Ideal Of A Barcelona Goal
If you were to diagram out the most quintessentially Barcelona goal imaginable, you could do a lot worse than this tie-killing, overly intricate, senselessly gorgeous combination between about half the Barça team that saw Lionel Messi teed up to blast the ball into the net from point-blank range....
NHL Suspends Predators' Austin Watson For "Ongoing Issues With Alcohol Abuse"
Nashville Predators forward Austin Watson has been suspended indefinitely without pay by the NHL, and has entered the second stage of the league’s substance abuse program, for “ongoing issues with alcohol abuse.” ...
Today Was Somehow The Stupidest Day Yet In The Bryce Harper Sweepstakes
Today felt like it could have finally been the day we got some movement in the frigid pursuit of the two top free agents in baseball, but it was not meant to be. Despite what felt like all of Philly Twitter trying to will it into existence, Bryce Harper did not sign with the Phillies on Tuesday. Why...
Damn Paul Millsap For Ruining This Sweet Nikola Jokic Pass
The experience of watching the Denver Nuggets play basketball is often reduced to alternating between two distinct yet equally powerful emotions. The first is religious ecstasy, sparked through witnessing the soft god Nikola Jokic in the act of miraculous ball distribution. The other is anguish, bro...
Just Several Frightening Seconds Of Zion Williamson Gobbling Up An Opposing Ball-Handler Like A Delicious Turkey Dinner
The disgusting Duke Blue Devils worked over Notre Dame Monday night, behind another ridiculous performance from Zion Williamson. Young Zion scored 26 points in 33 minutes, on just 12 total shots, and pulled down nine rebounds, and led the game with four blocks. In general he was just way too much fo...
![Brianna Decker Will Get Her Prize Money After All, Just Not From The NHL [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/fvojgonn3udv0m4czjjk.jpg)
Brianna Decker Will Get Her Prize Money After All, Just Not From The NHL [Update]
In what can only be described as the smallest of hat tips to diversity and inclusion, U.S. women’s national team hockey player Brianna Decker was brought out to demonstrate the premier passing drill at the NHL All-Star skills event on Friday. While the league never bothered to show her demonstration...
Sevilla Fail To Score On Counter-Attack Despite Six-On-One Advantage
In the 65th minute Sevilla’s La Liga match against Levante, the home squad appeared to have an all-but-guaranteed goal. Sevilla took the botched corner kick from their opponents and immediately started on the break towards their goal. Pablo Sarabia, who began the counter, made a quick pass to Wissam...
Curt Schilling Goes On Radio, Melts Down As He Defends Liking And Sharing Memes
In his sixth go-round, former baseball pitcher Curt Schilling received 60.9 percent in the Hall of Fame vote. He’s on pace to get in within his 10 years of eligibility. (Though this blog argues for his induction, I don’t personally care if he does and hope he doesn’t. Why? Because fuck him, that’s w...
Useless Senator From Louisiana Takes To The Floor To Moan About The Saints Game
The U.S. government entered day 35 of its shutdown today. Hundreds of thousands of federal employees have not been paid in over a month, the airline industry is on the brink of total collapse, and the lines outside food banks get longer every day. Meanwhile, Louisiana Republican Senator Bill Cassid...
<i>Sports Illustrated'</i>s New Business Idea: Streaming Replays Of Liverpool Matches
While most subscription streaming services are competing to snap up rights to live programming in an effort to attract paying viewers, Sports Illustrated, a publication that simply can’t compete with broadcast giants like ESPN or NBC Sports, has bought the rights to show replays of Liverpool matches...
Let's Just Keep Doing This Shit Forever!
There’s no sense in waiting for it at this point. The New England Patriots, who have been shitting up the mid-winter for sports fans throughout this entire terrible millennium, are not remotely close to going away, not any more than, say, measles or famine are close to going away. They’re a problem,...
The NWSL's Worst Club Is Losing Top Draft Picks Because Of Garbage Management
Last season, the NWSL’s Sky Blue FC limped its way to a 1-17-6 record, landing at the bottom of the league table with a whopping -31 goal difference. Despite having USWNT star Carli Lloyd, the 2018 Sky Blue season was the worst in league history: nine total points, “beating” the previous record of 1...