ill Page 406 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Shortstop Pedro Florimon Pitches Perfect Inning, Then Socks Mighty Dinger
The dreaded Cardinals chased Phillies ace Jake Arrieta after just three innings in Friday night’s gloomy, rain-delayed tilt in St. Louis. The score was then 4-0; by the time reliever Drew Hutchison finished the sixth inning it was 9-2; the game finally became a laugher when Yacksel Rios allowed anot...
Tom Jurich Gets $7.2 Million, Lifetime Tickets In Louisville Settlement
If there’s one benefit to working in a leadership position at a major college sports program, and there are many, it’s that even if you end up disgraced and fired, you’re probably going to stay rich as hell....
Alex Honnold Wants To Save Our National Parks<em></em>
Naturally, Alex Honnold is in Yosemite right now. This should not surprise you, because if non-climbers know anything about Honnold, it’s that he climbed El Capitan without a rope a year ago, becoming the first person to free solo the legendary big wall. When I spoke to him yesterday, Honnold was en...
Bill Bradley Had Some Dumb Thoughts About The Legalization Of Sports Gambling
Sports gambling is going to be a disaster for some. The widespread legalization of sports gambling in the United States, for which the Supreme Court paved the way with a ruling earlier this week, will lead to some people gambling all their money away. It will not lead to a renaissance in Atlantic Ci...
Announcers Go Nuts As AB de Villiers Jacks Huge Dinger Right Out Of The Stadium<em></em>
There is a cricket ball bouncing down the streets of Bangalore right now after legendary batsman AB de Villiers cranked an enormous dong entirely out of M. Chinnaswamy Stadium....
It Sure Seems Like Nobody Running Any Sports Team Knows How To Run A Basic Background Check
The Luke Heimlich redemption tour carried on this week, cresting with the full Sports Illustrated feature treatment. There are thousands of words, a serious-faced cover photo, an alliterative headline, randomly capitalized words (“the era of Too Much Information” comes up twice), and all the fancy o...
The MLB Narcs Have Come For Willson Contreras And His Venezuela Sleeve
Cubs catcher Willson Contreras began wearing a Venezuelan-flag sleeve to honor his home country last summer, and it has become an essential component of his uniform. But as part of MLB’s recent efforts to crack down on uniform regulations, Contreras has been told by the league that he can no longer ...
The Penultimate Episode Of The All-Athlete <i>Dancing With The Stars </i>Featured A Lot Of Hats And Not Many Shirts
In the 1994 comedy The Mask, a shy bank clerk named Stanley Ipkiss (played by Jim Carrey) is plagued with the burden and the blessing of discovering an ancient mask containing the spirit of the ancient Norse god, Loki. Under the spell of the mask, Ipkiss, an otherwise meek man who has trouble with w...
Jameson Taillon Is Willing To Have His Teammates Pee On Him If It Helps
Pirates pitcher Jameson Taillon was pulled from his start against the Giants on Friday after three excellent innings because of a serious cut on his middle finger, which was likely the result of his thumbnail digging into his finger when he threw curveballs. Taillon was bleeding on the ball to point...
Willson Contreras Is On An Unholy Tear
Cubs catcher Willson Contreras came into Wednesday’s game against the Marlins stuck in a bit of a slump, having gone 4-for-35 over his previous nine appearances. Contreras, who smacked 21 dingers in 2017, tallied just one in April, and hadn’t had a multi-hit game since April 10. The nine-game slump ...
Pekka Rinne Gifts The Jets A Game 7 Win<em></em>
Predators goalie Pekka Rinne—or, just as plausibly, some amateur wearing his sweater and pads—ended Nashville’s Stanley Cup bid tonight with two incredibly soft goals allowed in the first period of Game 7 against the Jets, leading to an eventual 5-1 Winnipeg victory. Rinne, a Vezina Trophy finalist ...
![Report: Blake Bortles Keeps His Truck Unlocked With His Keys And Wallet Inside [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/igjy0ieirju6duecjaub.jpg)
Report: Blake Bortles Keeps His Truck Unlocked With His Keys And Wallet Inside [Update]
Jaguars quarterback Blake Bortles reportedly helped stop a would-be robber at his teammate Brandon Linder’s house on Wednesday night, when an 18-year-old high school student tried to steal Bortles’ truck from the driveway in the middle of a party. According to TMZ, the kid failed because the truck w...
Bill Belichick: Patriots Were Not Aware Of Matt Patricia's Sexual Assault Indictment
Before recently being hired by the Detroit Lions as their head coach, Matt Patricia spent 14 seasons coaching the New England Patriots. The team brought Patricia into the NFL’s coaching ranks back in 2004, and he worked his way up from an offensive assistant to defensive coordinator. In response to ...
The Athletic Has Inflicted<em></em> Rick Reilly Upon You
If you are subscriber to The Athletic, I have some bad news for you:...
Charles Barkley And Shaq Got Each Other Steaming Mad By Yelling About Some Stupid Shit
In the right corner: Charles Barkley, man who thinks coaches need to have great relationships with their best players in order to win. In the left: Shaq, who would like to use his history being a toxic shitheel as proof that players and coaches can win while hating each other. What follows is a fail...
I Beat Up My Own Brain At The American Crossword Puzzle Tournament
I once read an essay from which I can remember a single thing: that the author, a white man entering his forties, was no longer afraid to commit acts of minor to moderate civil disobedience in the service of righteous causes, or for just for shits-n-gigs. Send him to jail? Sure. Whatever he had to p...
Down With Decorative Pillows!
Hello and welcome to the Funbag! The last time I filled in for Drew, I took over the sex and fantasy football mailbag that he started for Kissing Suzy Kolber, a poorly named blog of a bygone era. I am presently unemployed, so if Drew turns up dead and I’m writing this column again next week, I didn’...
Filip Forsberg Is Too Pretty To Die Without A Game 7<em></em>
The Predators beat the Jets 4-0 in Winnipeg tonight to fight off second-round elimination and force a Game 7 back in Nashville. It was a mostly tense game despite the final, with the danger of a two-goal lead particularly looming over the Preds when the Jets had an early third-period power play. But...
Mario Balotelli Scores Wonderful Goal, Talks Shit About Referees
When last we heard from our favorite mohawked madman, Mario Balotelli, it right about this time last year as he came to the close of what turned out to be an unexpectedly impressive but still quintessentially Balotellian inaugural season with Nice in France. We are delighted to inform you that since...
Max Scherzer Is A Fire-Breathing Dragon
The marquee pitching matchup of the day had former Cy Young winners Max Scherzer and Jake Arrieta pitching the rubber match of the Phillies-Nationals series. Arrieta was fine—he allowed a run on two hits and two walks in six innings—but Mad Max was downright historic:...