ill Page 414 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Serena Williams Will Be Ready When It Counts
What was set to be Serena Williams’s low-key but triumphant return to competitive tennis on Sunday, after more than a year away from the game, was instead a signal that the 36-year-old, 23-time Grand Slam winner is far from peak form. At least in matches that don’t matter. ...
Cruel Damian Lillard Needed Just 29 Minutes To Hang 50 Points On The Kings
Damian Lillard went absolutely nuts on the Kings Friday night, in Sacramento, to the tune of 50 points on 26 shots attempts, in just 29 minutes. He didn’t score a single point in the fourth quarter, and didn’t need to, because the Kings are sad and awful, and also because the game was never close af...
The Best Moments Of Philly Local News Getting Wild After The Super Bowl
People in Philadelphia were pretty excited when the Eagles won the Super Bowl. They rushed into the streets by the thousands. Many of them also put on a show for the local news cameras that were rolling well into the night. Some stations stayed on air all night....
St. John's Shocks Villanova Just Days After Stunning Duke
St. John’s went into Philly tonight wearing a dreadful 0-11 Big East record, yet riding high off a bizarre 81-77 takedown of Duke just four days ago. Still, going up against number-one Villanova, their conference drought seemed all but guaranteed to continue....
Josh McDaniels's Agent Drops Him After Colts Fiasco
Agent Bob LaMonte has withdrawn from representing Josh McDaniels in the wake of McDaniels’s 11th-hour decision to stay with the Patriots. According to ESPN’s Dan Graziano, LaMonte was “stunned” and “blindsided” by the move, and he apparently told McDaniels that he was “committing professional suicid...
Breaking Down The Philly Gas Station Looting Footage<em></em>
The Philadelphia Eagles are Super Bowl champions, and the city is still here....
HEY, PATRIOTS! FUCK YOU IN THE FACE!<em></em>
There is never a guarantee you’ll get a Patriots Schadenfreude Day. There are years when they win a Super Bowl and you just gotta sit there with gritted teeth while Brian O’Brian from Dickchester hoots and hollers and flashes imaginary rings and celebrates yet another Pats Super Bowl win by blinding...
Where The Hell Was Malcolm Butler?
Malcolm Butler, the hero of Super Bowl 49 and starting cornerback for the Patriots all season, wasn’t on the field for any defensive snaps as New England lost 41-33 to the Eagles in Super Bowl 52. If you have an answer for why: Please get in touch, Bill Belichick....
What Time Does 'What Time Does The Super Bowl Start?' Start?
Time is a social construct cooked up by humankind to impose some modicum of order onto an otherwise chaotic existence. But with that said, Super Bowl 52 will kick off this weekend. At some point. Who will win “the big game”? That’s not for me to say. What time does it start? Now there’s a good quest...
Riyad Mahrez Is Trapped In Leicester
Leicester City star Riyad Mahrez missed training today. It was the fourth consecutive session he’s not attended, and not because of an injury or any other valid excuse that would justify his skipping of practice. No, Mahrez has missed training because he’s mad at the club, and it’s hard not to feel ...
Disease Outbreak Forces Duke Students To Abandon Flu-Riddled Tent City
Even in the best of conditions Krzyzewskiville, the tent city erected by Duke students before the North Carolina game in a performative tribute of extreme fandom, does not sound like a charming place to be. Getting drunk in a tent is a time-honored pastime, though since this particular gathering is ...
Arsenal Are Having A Shockingly Great Transfer Deadline Day
Well, well, would you look at that. Ol’ Arsène had an ace up his sleeve after all, and Arsenal have locked in two players on this transfer deadline day who will give Gooners everywhere something to cheer for once and, even more importantly, some much needed hope....
Rays Fire Team Doctor After Accusation Of Sexual Abuse
The Rays have cut ties with team doctor Michael Reilly, who’s worked with the franchise since its 1998 inaugural season, after a former employee at his private practice accused him of sexual abuse that began when she was a teenager. ...
Three-Team Standoff Hopefully Will Not End With Arsenal's Dick Getting Shot Off
Famously star-crossed Premier League club Arsenal have already had a bad winter transfer window. Just last week the Gunners let Manchester United Debo them out of their best player, Alexis Sánchez, and the only thing that could even kind of almost halfway redeem them from that humiliating chump move...
Impossible Rescue Operation Saves Climber On "Killer Mountain"<em></em>
On Sunday, French mountain climber Elisabeth Revol was rescued by a team of Polish climbers on the slopes of a mountain in northern Pakistan and airlifted to a hospital in Islamabad. The rescue effort involved the Pakistani Army, an urgent crowdfunding campaign, diplomatic intervention, and the aban...
Man City Spend More Of Their Unlimited Money On Yet Another Wildly Expensive Defender
Manchester City are one of the biggest and most ambitious clubs in world soccer. In order to realize their silver-lined aspirations, they need lots and lots of money to invest in the team. Luckily for them, they have more money than god thanks to the backing of the Abu Dhabi royal family which owns ...
Report: Eric Wood's Retirement Delayed Due To Bonus Money Dispute
Buffalo Bills center Eric Wood, who was diagnosed with a career-ending neck injury in his season-ending physical, gave a weird press conference this afternoon in which, instead of announcing his retirement as expected, he showed up nearly an hour late and gave just a two-minute statement without ans...
Poor Valparaiso Freshman Dunked Out Of Existence
Say a prayer for Valparaiso freshman Mileek McMillan, for surely he will never be seen again on earth after what happened to him Saturday night:...
Lou Williams Isn't An All-Star, But He Definitely Rules
It’s not every day that a bench player on a middling squad makes the news for not being selected to an All Star game, but here we are:...
DeMarcus Cousins To Miss Rest Of Season With Torn Achilles
The Pelicans will play the rest of the season without their star big man after DeMarcus Cousins tore his left Achilles tendon trying to rebound his own free throw miss with just ten seconds remaining in New Orleans’s game against Houston tonight....