ill Page 456 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

An Ode To James Carville's Super Fucked-Up Glasses

This election has turned the country into a tar pit from which we will never escape, but it did give us one thing that has brought me great joy. That thing is political pundit James Carville’s busted-ass spectacles....

Wikileaks: Clinton Campaign Considered Having Her Make A "Yo Mama" Joke 

Here’s a good one from the Clinton email leaks. Before a February campaign event in Birmingham, Al., a Hillary Clinton campaign staffer wrote a “Yo mama” joke into the speech, one which was eventually cut....

Rick Pitino Denies Responsibility For Louisville Prostitution Scandal, Once Again Invokes 9/11

Last year, a book written by a self-described madam detailed allegations that the Louisville basketball program provided strippers for team parties within the dorms, and that some of the strippers were paid to have sex with athletes, as a means of attracting recruits. Former graduate assistant Andre...

Richie Incognito Is Still Richie Incognito<em></em>

The Bills are playing the Dolphins this weekend, which means that offensive lineman Richie Incognito faces his former team for the third time since he was suspended for the final eight games of the 2013 season after teammate Jonathan Martin accused him and other players of bullying. Incognito had a ...

This Was The Only Good Part Of Tonight's Debate

In a brief battle over exactly how much Donald Trump loves Vladimir Putin (is it just a lot or more than he loves his own children?), Trump offered the most infantile, absolutely incredible retort of his campaign thus far. Specifically, Trump went with the tried and true, “I know you are, but what a...

Donald Trump Won't Say If He’ll Accept The Results Of The Election If He Loses<em></em>

Barring some monumental fuckup on the part of the Clinton campaign, Donald Trump will not be the next president of the United States. Over the past few months, he has repeatedly fed the notion that if he loses, it will be because of voter fraud or other illegal electoral malfeasance, not because of ...

Liveblogging The Last Presidential Debate Please God<em></em>

Twenty-six debates. After tonight, we will have suffered a total of 26 presidential and primary debates. I truly thought we’d be all be dead by now. ...

Please Enjoy This Picture Of Two Women Drinking Tea With Their Lamb

This photo of English farmer Maud Lee and her daughter Pat enjoying tea with their lamb Betty in 1949 is good, and if you’re for any reason stressed today or tonight, it will probably be worth checking out....

The Election Is Done, By The Way

Here’s how this debate is going to go:...

Old Man Rich Hill Pitched A Gem Tonight

The Chicago Cubs came into the NLCS fresh off a dominant regular season and a soul-crushing defeat of the San Francisco Giants. Since a Game 1 win, they haven’t scored a run. Clayton Kershaw shut them out in Game 2, which is understandable since he’s Clayton Kershaw, but a much more unlikely hero bl...

It Was A Nice Day In New York Today

Earlier today, local news station NY1 stumbled upon a “mysterious” statue of a mostly naked Hillary Clinton “depicted with horse hooves, and standing on what appeared to be printouts of emails. The statue also featured a Wall Street banker pressed against her left breast.” So of course, some shit we...

Curt Schilling, For What Feels Like The Hundredth Time, Says He's Going To Run For Senate

Curt Schilling, the elite meme curator and former MLB pitcher made famous by refusing to recognize when he didn’t have a leg to stand on, said that he is considering a run for the United States Senate in 2018. This is not a new claim from him....

Bill Belichick Is Sick Of Those Stupid Microsoft Tablets [Update]

Patriots head coach Bill Belichick, who has never been one to embrace technology, has had it with Microsoft Surface tablets on NFL sidelines. He went on a surprisingly long-winded rant about the devices in today’s presser, where he essentially said that the tablets suck ass and he’s not using them ...

Cleveland Didn't Even Need A Starter Last Night<em></em>

Losing your starting pitcher two outs into a playoff game is supposed to be a nightmare for any manager, but all it meant for Terry Francona last night was that he got to put the game into the hands of a bullpen that has yet to fail him....

WikiLeaks Emails Show Clinton Aides Cowering In Fear Of Seeming To Care About The Poor

Here is a remarkable bit from the recently WikiLeaked emails of John Podesta, chairman of Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign. If it doesn’t quite reveal some nefarious master plan for technoligarch world domination, it at least provides an opportunity to goggle at some extremely dumb campaign s...

Dog Attends Hockey Game

Who Was Really Expecting Colin Kaepernick To Talk About Football?

The San Francisco 49ers got absolutely stomped by the Buffalo Bills Sunday afternoon, allowing three touchdowns in the fourth quarter for a final score of 45-16, sending the hapless 49ers home with a 1-5 record. No one outside of Buffalo really cared about that, though....

Bears Fan And Jaguars Fans Fight To Defend The Honor Of Their Terrible Teams

A Bears fan has no ground to start talking shit, especially right after losing at home to the Jaguars. He should especially avoid repeatedly yelling “Go fuck yourself” to any Jaguars fans that he sees....

Bills Fan Drinks Booze Out Of Butt

A man in a LeSean McCoy jersey drank some alcohol through a pair of buttcheeks at today’s tailgate. Who needs an ice luge when you can use a butt luge?...

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