ill Page 656 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

One Time, At Football Camp, Players Came Down With a Rare Soft-Tissue Condition
Via The Oregonian:...

Private Stache: Roger Clemens Gets Intimate With Old Bush, For Once
As keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, Andy Gray spends a lot of his time sifting through the sports photography of another time, when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable. Here is one such photo....

Can You Catch A Foul Ball While Carrying Concession Stand Food?
Probably not. We'll second The Fightins' description of this play by a Phillies fan as "the coolest foul ball catch you've ever seen." He should date Sara Saco. [The Fightins]...

The Oxford English Dictionary Now Being Interrupted With Buzzing Sound
Vuvuzelas have reached the big time, having been added to the newest edition of the OED along with such other words that we'll be using forever and ever as "staycation," "bromance," "chillax," and "interweb"—singular. [NYT]...

Rick Reilly® Writes Column A Lot Like Other Rick Reilly® Column
When he isn't squirting various hypothetical juices in various hypothetical eyes, Rick Reilly® is usually recycling his own material. Yesterday's column finds him complaining about golf's picayune rules. Again....

British Kickboxer (Allegedly) Loses Bar Fight, Kills Victor (Allegedly)
British kickboxer Lee Aldhouse is being sought by Thai police after allegedly stabbing an American tourist in the chest after the two earlier engaged in a bar fight. This has the makings of the best Locked Up Abroad yet. [Daily News]...

Jayhawks AD Spreads His Wings With Style
In Lew Perkins' defense, he does look like big smooth bird who just gets what Orville and Wilbur were going for....

Big Yankees Fan, Inspired By Katy Perry, Humiliates a Franchise
I know a place, where Michael LaPayower won't have it easy, after people see his Chevy Fan of the Year video submission....

Bill Simmons Writes About Holdouts, Works Through Some Of His Own Issues
Today, Simmons wrote about the nature of contract disputes. Ostensibly it's about pro athletes holding out. But somewhere, deep in the Sports Guy's Sports Psyche, it very well may have been about him....

Pat Tillman's Father To Brigadier General: "Fuck You ... And Yours"
The Huffington Post has Pat Tillman Sr.'s 2005 letter to Brigadier General Gary M. Jones, who was leading the investigation into the death of his son: "I assume, therefore, that you are part of this shameless bullshit." [Huffington Post]...

Remembering The Greatest Basebrawl Of All Time
Twenty-six years ago today, the Braves and the Padres decided to forgo their obligations of playing baseball and instead sporadically cleared their benches and punched each other in the face. It's one of the best baseball fights ever, if not the best....

Tim Tebow's Hyperbaric Chamber Lets Him Use Oxygen Better Than You, Too
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Deaf Guy Getting Choked By Mall Security? Deaf Guy Getting Choked By Mall Security (UPDATE: Video Fixed)
This video shows some overzealous security person at a Los Angeles mall showing off his MMA classes on a possible shoplifter. Problem is, the purple-faced shoplifter is deaf, didn't hear the alarm, and...also may have paid for his items. [SmartCrew]...

Introducing The Dancing Man Of Wrigleyville
Wrigleyville, the neighborhood around Wrigley Field, has long been known for its "scene." Want to meet the future ex-Mrs. Malcolm? That's the place to go. Well, Wrigleyville has a new sight attracting the hordes: this dancing guy....

Former Basketball Player Ends Congressional Bid As It Began: Crazily
Remember Kevin Millen? The former Georgetown basketball player no one remembered who ran for Congress in Tennessee on a campaign of paranoia and family values and batshit insanity? He lost. But at least he's fired off one last batshit insane email....

Last Night's Winner: The Return Of Bill Walton
In sports, everyone is a winner — some people just win better than others. Like weird, wonderful ol' Bill Walton, at last healthy again and back to doing the thing he does best: being ridiculous in public....

Read This: The Pelé-Maradona Rivalry, Explained
The great Brian Phillips, on the Pelé-Maradona rivalry: "Pelé ... offers the child's narrative of sports heroism, an exuberant conquest of a just and welcoming world. Maradona ... represents the adolescent narrative: an unjust world forced to yield to a superior ego."...

Arrested Colts Lineman Was Drunk, Barefoot, Soiled, In A Ditch
Indianapolis police arrested Colts DT John Gill early Sunday morning after finding him passed out in a ditch, citing him as "disheveled and soiled" in the police report. [AP]...

Phillies Fan Performs Bottlatio
Let it never be said that the No H8 Campaign doesn't have friends in the Phillies bleachers: Seconds 2 thru 6 of this brief video; three/four people up from the bottom right corner....

Ref: The Steelers Probably Wouldn't Have Won Super Bowl XL Without Me
Remember when the Seattle Seahawks totally got jobbed out of a Super Bowl trophy? Referee Bill Leavy does. Here's what he said during a lil chat with the Seattle media yesterday:...