ill Page 658 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Poorly Planned Robbery Leads To Drexel Hoops Arrests
Two Drexel players, Jamie Harris and Kevin Phillip, turned themselves in to Philadelphia police today and now face armed robbery charges after their attempt to "score a big stash of cash" from a female Drexel student's apartment last Wednesday....

Monday Morning Psychologist, With Dez Bryant And Roy Williams
Actual headline from actual newspaper: "Dez Bryant Refuses To Carry Roy Williams' Shoulder Pads." So while this may not be a big story, the media's damn sure they're going to make it one. So let's analyze!...

It's Okay To Make Fun Of Lance Armstrong Again
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Wade Phillips Is Gushing (About The Potential Of Dez Bryant)
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Cowboys head man Wade Phillips....

Here's A Picture Of Jonah Hill As Paul De Podesta On The Set Of <em>Moneyball</em>
The Michael-Lewis-book-turned-definition-of-production-problems finally started shooting. See for yourself how the baffling casting choice will look on the silver screen. It's really a shame Sam Kinison wasn't available to play the ghost of Connie Mack. [The appropriately named Accidental Sexiness,...

And In The 7th, Someone Tried To Throw A Chair At Beck And O'Reilly, But It Hit Geraldo In The Nose
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

America's Dumbest Student-Athlete: Tremaine Billie, Clemson University
Mr. Billie AKA "T.Billie" has received multiple nominations thanks to the unfortunate "e-portfolio" he created when he was a student. It's a masterpiece....

Today In Things Making You Fatter: Baseball
Shocking news out of the halls of SI today: all-you-can-eat deals at baseball games are extremely unhealthy, and teams might have some ethical obligation to stop such promotions. To the pull-quotes!...

Someone Just Told Julio Borbon He Has To Spend 14 Innings In Detroit
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

This Cubs Shirt Got These Kids Laid
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Read This: Don DeLillo's "At Yankee Stadium"
Granta has put up Don DeLillo's 1990 story "At Yankee Stadium," which depicts a Moonie wedding of 13,000 men and women (an actual event that remains perhaps the strangest phenomenon ever to materialize in the stadium, not counting Don Zimmer)....

Ohio Governor Takes His Authoritarian Jackboot Off The Neck Of Live Tiger Mascot
Obie the Massillon tiger is saved! Gov. Ted Strickland announced yesterday he "will ensure the rules allow for the established mascot programs to continue," which means Obie will be free do whatever it is a caged sideline tiger does....

ESPN Actually Spoofs Itself With Bill Simmons's <em>The Decision</em>
The Sports Fella took to Beadle & Colin's Smile Time Shit-Sack Variety Hour yesterday to announce whether he would renew his season tickets to the Clippers in a parody of that LeBron thing. There's more self-criticism here than Ohlmeyer's last column....

America's Dumbest Student-Athlete Nominee: Villanova (UPDATE)
"This was a webpage one of our basketball players had to make for a computer science course. Not an essay exactly, but definitely an excellent depiction of our student-athlete intelligence level." (Other students claim this is a fake, btw.)...

Ohio Governor Tramples Small Town's Right To Have A Live Freaking Tiger At High School Football Games
Massillon, Ohio, is under siege from Gov. Ted Strickland and the Humane Society of the United States over the town's tradition of stockpiling tigers for use as mascots during Massillon Washington High School football games. The indignation is palpable!...

Out-Of-Breath Broccoli-Costumed Man Proposes To Lady At Minor League Game
Joining the ranks of the other marriage proposal video we've posted comes this one from a recent Reading Phillies game, where a racing broccoli mascot won both the race and the heart of the fair maiden in the stands. [The 700 Level]...

Brad Lidge Signs A Fake Leg
Here's the Phillies' closer taking the time to sign a prosthetic limb after a recent game. Other players who claim not to have the time to sign for fans? Well, they no longer have a leg to stand on. [Crossing Broad]...

And You Thought LeBron Signing Would Be The End Of Unsourced Rumors
In an article that should probably have been in the gossip section, Chris Paul reportedly toasted at Carmelo Anthony's wedding to a "Big 3" of them and Amar'e Stoudemire in New York. It's ludicrous, but let Knicks fans have this. [NY Post]...

World Cup Open Thread: Netherlands-Spain
After 63 matches, we have made it to the final. It figures that Wesley Sneijder and David Villa—two of the breakout stars of the tournament—would settle things....

Baseball Player Doesn't Apologize For Cursing, Proves Mayans Correct
Father shells out for a pair of $45 front-row pro-baseball tickets thus enabling son to tell friends, "My dad's the greatest in the whole world." Then, fate intervenes. It sends a foul ball into the old man's glove, and an obscenity-fueled line from the hirsute right-fielder's tongue into everybody...