ill Page 666 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Bills Entice Potential Ticket Buyers With "Punt From Own End Zone" Shining Moment
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Crotch Punch Fulfills Every Crotch Punch's Destiny, Gets Immortalized On Videotape, Part II
And now here's the video of Jackson State's Phillip Williams nutpunching Mississippi State's Dee Bost. By the time the NIT's over, we'll have a whole new section of sopranos for the pope's choir. ...

Whining Time: Reggie Miller, The Knicks, And The Prayer Of The Bitchy Girl
A review of ESPN's Winning Time: Reggie Miller vs. the New York Knicks, from a woman who once took a photo with John Starks and keeps it at her desk, and now co-workers think they're married....

America's Feeblest Legal Minds Weigh In On Erin Andrews
Somewhat curiously, ESPN.com has put the sentencing of Erin Andrews's stalker on the front page. Even more curiously, they've left commenting open. Seriously, go now. It's worse than YouTube in there. [ESPN.com]...

The Saddest, Most Pitiful Sentence Illinois Basketball Fans Will Ever Read
"Though Illinois is seeded No. 1 in the NIT, it couldn't host a first-round game because Cirque du Soleil is performing at the Assembly Hall this week." Even sadder? My parents have tickets. [IlliniHQ]...

Jackie Gleason Shows Us The Proper Way To Bomb On TV: With Self-Deprecation And Booze
In 1961, Jackie Gleason hosted a game show on CBS titled You're In The Picture. It was a precursor to The Jay Leno Show and The Marriage Ref in that it was universally reviled....

Stories That Don't Suck: Axl Rose, Hockey Goons, Cassius Bom-Ba-Ye, Dr. Z In The USSR
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....

Calling All Models Who Bartend: Ryan Braun Would Like To Hire You STAT
The Brewers' left fielder also has entrepreneurial moxie: First, it was his stunning Ream Tee fashion line; now it's his new restaurant which is looking for "models that are bartenders" to fill his "starting line up." 275 fist explosions. [B&C]...

AN ESPN VP Joins The Olbermann-Simmons Pillow Fight
ESPN Executive VP and Editor John Walsh snarks back at Keith Olbermann in today's SportsBusiness Daily, and suddenly the Olbermann-Simmons feud has become one of those great Greek tragedies full of incest and bloodshed and men with stately white beards....

Conviction In Darrent Williams Murder Trial
A Denver jury has found Willie D. Clark guilty in the 2007 murder of Denver Broncos cornerback Darrent Williams. His sentencing is scheduled for April 10. [Denver Post, Westword]...

Even The Promotional Copy For Rick Reilly®'s New Book Is Phoned-In
"His new book — out May 4, 2010 — is called 'Sports From Hell, My Two-year Search for the World's Dumbest Competition'. It's the account of his three-year search for the dumbest sport in the world." [ESPN, h/t Jordan]...

Corey Haim, Dead; Bill Simmons Mourns
Excpect 5,000 words on how Haim's death is comparable to River Phoenix's by 5 p.m. [SportsGuy33]...

Big Ben Photographer Speaks; GCSU Says No Comment
On Thursday, Justin, a senior at GCSU, snapped a photo of Ben Roethlisberger with a young woman. As with a lot of things that night, that photo's now the subject of innuendo and insinuation, some of it, Justin says, misguided....

Simmons-Olbermann Feud Tweeted To An Unsatisfying Conclusion
Just so we're clear: The Sports Fella did not get into writing to respond to Keith Olbermann's response to Simmons's response to Olbermann's response to that one column Simmons wrote in crayon. [@sportsguy33]...

The Olbermann-Simmons Feud Is Getting Feisty
Wherever you come down in the Keith Olbermann-Bill Simmons blood feud, you can surely agree that the former just drew a helluva line in the sand by calling Simmons "the most uncontrollable, unmanageable talent in the history of ESPN."...

Quarterbacks No Longer Welcome In Ladies' Room At "Millyvegas" Bar
According to a tipster, this sign now hangs on the door of the women's restroom at The Brick, one of the Milledgeville, Ga., bars visited by Ben Roethlisberger on Thursday night. I think it pretty much speaks for itself....

<em>Moneyball</em> The Movie Clearly Not Selling Jeans Here, Either
Rob Neyer reports that the revived Moneyball movie has dropped Demetri Martin from the role of assistant GM Paul DePodesta and instead gone with Jonah Hill. Paul DePodesta just threw a chair at the wall. [SweetSpot]...

Big Ben's Night Out In "Millyvegas": What The Bartenders Saw
Questions swirl around the night that led to sexual assault charges against Ben Roethlisberger. Fellow bargoers and bartenders offer accounts of binge drinking in a sexually charged atmosphere, and their takes on what really went down....

<em>ESPN The Magazine</em> Flosses Rick Reilly®'s Column From Its Pages
We're told that Rick Reilly's next ESPN The Magazine column will be his last for the magazine, which means he will now annoy the world on only two ESPN media platforms instead of three. Progress!...

Olbermann Joins The Sports Fella Pile-On
On Simmons: "I am again left to marvel how somebody can rise to a fairly prominent media position with no discernible insight or talent, save for an apparent ability to mix up a vast bowl of word salad very quickly."...