ill Page 734 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

ESPN: We Don't Want No Trouble
ESPN's new comment section, ESPN Conversation, has been an endless source of entertainment for us, and you as well, we suspect. Specifically the Featured Comment on their home page, which is possibly the blandest thing on the planet. In fact, I doubt that ESPN commenters are even human: Their commen...

Bill Belichick Is Now Watching YOU
We hope you didn't buy any Patriots tickets through StubHub last year. Because if you did, the New England Patriots now have all your information....

About Last Night
What you missed while fumigating your nuts ... • MLB: Despite Manny calling time out when his team didn't have any left, Red Sox stay alive in ALCS. • College football: You've got some red on you ... Rutgers 30, South Florida 27. • Soccer: David Beckham upstaged by the offensive stylings of Jozy Alt...

Dan Patrick Finds Place To Peddle His Wares
We know you've been dying to find out the next move for Dan Patrick. He's got his national radio show now, his Web site and, hopefully, more Applebee's commercials with barbecue sauce all over himself. (Or whatever crappy chain restaurant that was; they all blend into one for us.) Well, Patrick has ...

Derek Jeter > Daniel LaRusso?
Yesterday's Derek Jeter post got me a little nostalgic for the greatest teenage karate movie ever made, and I wasn't really sure why. Until just now....

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights
The E-Ticket section on ESPN.com has always been one of the stronger elements of the site, and the show, while occasionally lapsing into the same soft-focus weeper segments that permeate Chris Connelly's "reports," trades off it well. Jeremy Schaap's Cecil Fielder story was fascinating; it was hard ...

It's True: The Red Sox Have Become The Yankees
The kewpie doll this morning goes to commenters Chad Sexington (who provided us with this wonderfully ironic photo (and this animated GIF) and, especially, Fiddling While Jim Rome Burns, who came up with a theory that just might explain what's happening to the Red Sox right now. He calls it The Keki...

Look For The Large Wide Receiver At Your Door Today
You know how Pizza Hut offered to explain the importance of tipping to Lions wide receiver Roy Williams, a notorious avoider of the practice. Well, today, Roy Williams is doing his part to understand how the other 99 percent lives....


Searching For Comedy In The Muslim World
Hmmm. I thought Bush said that the U.S. doesn't torture?...

Time Traveler Beams In For Patriots-Cowboys Presser
Absolutely bizarre question-and-answer session at the end of the Patriots-Cowboys game last night: Apparently, it's not so difficult to get a press pass in Dallas....

About Last Night
What you missed while bravely striking out against Halloween and all it represents ... • NFL: Reggie is Mr. October ... Saints finally get a win, 28-17 over Schmohawks. • MLB: Rockies' 20-1 run have them one win from World Series. The 1907 Cubs are not impressed. • NHL: The Sakic Brand ... more good...


NASCAR Fans Are Apparently Contagious
We've never been to a NASCAR race, but we imagine their big drunken vats of fun. We think it would be a grand time. The House Homeland Security Committee apparently doesn't agree ... unless they've gotten their shots, anyway....

Ron Zook, Illinois And Our Spinning Brains
We have resisted as long as we can: We now, to finish our day, talk about the Illini. And what better way to do so than through the restless guns of Ron Zook....

They're Celebrating In The Streets Of Ft. Myers
This happened a while ago but we thought it should be mentioned: The Ft. Myers Miracle's "Billy Donovan Night" won Minor League Baseball's Promotion of the Year award. The gala promotion, in which any fan who attended the game at the Lee County Sports Complex could negotiate their way out of their t...

Brad Miller Has Cornrows
Naw, you heard us: Brad Miller has cornrows. This is from last night's Sonics-Kings exhibition game. Interesting look, Brad; we look forward to your fro next....

Dennis Miller Explains It All ... On Versus!
So Dennis Miller has a new show, which shouldn't surprise anyone; the scraggly bearded one tends to sample the dial these days like Lasorda at a wedding buffet. But you'll be happy to note that this time he's found a classy home: Versus! Nestled between Ultimate Cage Fighting and Pheasant Hunting, g...