im Page 307 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
![This Is Not How Wrestling Ring Ropes Work, <i>WWE 2K20 </i>[Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/xmq7n84piyeg9li0pbs0.gif)
This Is Not How Wrestling Ring Ropes Work, <i>WWE 2K20 </i>[Update]
Madden glitches are a well-covered phenomenon, but it’s officially time for a new challenger to step into the ring with its own brand of broken gameplay. WWE 2K20 came out on Tuesday, and already fans are finding match-breaking bugs and general unpolished hilarity, such as this mess of a Tables, Lad...

Get Ready For The New Olympic Sport That's Basically Spider-Man Speedrunning
Several sports will debut at next summer’s Tokyo Olympics, with the uniting theme of making the Games gnarlier. Skateboarding and surfing are the obvious headliners, but you should be aware of another extra-cool sport that’ll make its first appearance: speed climbing....

This Is What The Ravens Drafted Lamar Jackson For
At some point in the third quarter of Ravens-Seahawks, something snapped inside of Lamar Jackson. The offense he was running hadn’t gotten a whole lot going, only settling for field goals, and his team was only tied with Seattle because of a Marcus Peters pick-six. Yet there Jackson was, having driv...

Marcus Peters's Lie Paid Off
There was no hiding the fact that when the Ravens traded for Marcus Peters on Tuesday, they were only going to get a short window to try and catch him up to speed. Peters didn’t meet with his position coaches until Wednesday night and practiced with the team for the first time on Thursday. ...

A Brief Interview With A Novice Climber Who Comfortably Scaled A Replica Of Trump's Border Wall
Donald Trump is confident that the wall along the southern border—which was the central promise of his presidential campaign, and which is slowly, stupidly, expensively, illegally, taking shape—cannot be scaled. “We got climbers. We had 20 mountain climbers,” the president burbled last month. “That’...

Claressa Shields's Brother Charged With Assaulting Ivana Habazin's Trainer
Claressa Shields’s older brother was the man behind the assault that forced promoters to cancel a fight between the former Olympic champion and Ivana Habazin, Genesee County Prosecutor David Leyton announced Wednesday. Artis Jaquel Mack, Shields’s 28-year-old brother, was charged with one count of a...

The Washington Nationals Are The Team Of Destiny, Until They're Not
For the entirety of their brief existence in the nation’s capital, the Washington Nationals have been too insignificant or too lousy or too unlucky or too self-defeating to hate. This is not to say that I haven’t figured out various ways to do it over the years, but also I am not without some intere...

Report: One Of Rudy Giuliani's Ukraine Cronies Was Once Sued By The Miami Heat
Now that Lev Parnas, one of Rudy Giuliani’s henchmen and a member of Trump’s inner circle, has been arrested and charged with manipulating the American electoral system and funneling Russian money into U.S. elections, all sorts of details are emerging and reemerging about his slimy little life....

Apologies To This Hockey Child, But I Am His Mother Now
Whether or not to have a child is a complicated and morally questionable decision that each person must weigh carefully. It is a difficult question for most people except for me, because I have decided to adopt this small hockey boy and love him forever. ...

Gruesome Bird Massacre At The NASCAR Hall Of Fame
The NASCAR Hall of Fame in Charlotte, N.C. was the site of a horrifying scene of avian death and destruction late Tuesday night, as 310 birds (later identified as chimney swifts) crashed into the Hall’s window and fell to the ground. The bizarre and disturbing aftermath, with birds strewn everywher...

Jimmy Butler Compares Himself To A Work Of Art, Specifically A Banksy
No forecast of Jimmy Butler’s surging cheese levels, no matter how thorough, could have anticipated the day he compared himself to a Banksy artwork. It’s too on the nose, but that’s exactly what the Heat forward told Haute Living in last week’s profile. (Also revealed: Butler has taken on a bit of a...

Cops: Alabama Student Made False Bomb Threat In Order To Stop LSU-Florida Game So His Friend Wouldn't Lose Bet
Alabama freshman Connor Bruce Croll was arrested in Tuscaloosa on Sunday morning after cops say he called in a false bomb threat to LSU’s Tiger Stadium. According to the police, Croll did so because he wanted to get the game canceled and save his friend a bunch of money....

Theo Epstein Landlord-Tenant Lawsuit Pits Scorpion Infestation Against Home-Befouling Doggo
Cubs executive Theo Epstein is embroiled in a not-at-all-classic security deposit dispute with a landlord whose home in Paradise Valley, Arizona Epstein rented with his family during spring training in 2015. The landlord says Epstein’s small family dog was a prolific piss-monster; Epstein says the h...

Notorious MMA Manager Cited For Battery After Allegedly Hitting Another MMA Manager At Event
Multiple MMA outlets reported on a brief physical altercation between two of MMA’s most prominent managers during a Professional Fighters League card Friday night at Mandalay Bay. Ibrahim Kawa of First Round Management told ESPN that Ali Abdelaziz of Dominance MMA approached him in the crowd and sa...

Stephen Strasburg's Teammates Must Keep Hugging Him Until His Icy Heart Melts
Stephen Strasburg kicked ass last night, striking out 12 Cardinals hitters in seven innings of work and leading his team to an 8-1 Game 3 victory. As you can see in the image above, all that hard work was repaid when he entered the dugout after recording his final out of the night and received a gro...

Ah, Damn, Brad Marchand Actually Did A Frickin' Cool Thing
It’s easy to lose sight of this fact amid the rabbit punches and cup checks and compulsive licking and stick-breaking and general dickishness, but veteran Bruins winger Brad Marchand is really freaking good at hockey. He showed that in part by getting a couple of assists in Boston’s afternoon win ag...

Simone Biles Keeps Finding New Worlds To Conquer
It was quite the week to be Simone Biles. On Tuesday, at the 2019 World Artistic Gymnastics Championships in Stuttgart, Germany, the diminutive 22-year-old superstar helped her team to their seventh consecutive gold medal, at the same time beating the record for the most world medals ever won by a f...

Lamar Jackson Etches His Name In History Alongside The Great Tobin Rote
As purveyors of the Gospel of Lamar Jackson, it is our solemn duty to inform the public whenever the Ravens quarterback elevates himself onto another level of football history. In a 23-17 win over the Bengals on Sunday, the lad did just that by becoming only the fourth-ever quarterback to rush for a...

Mark Andrews Tries To Hurdle Defender, Immediately Wishes He Hadn't
Ravens tight ends love trying to hurdle defenders. Love it! They can’t get enough of it. And how could they, when it looks so damn cool when it works? But it doesn’t always, or even usually, work....

Simone Biles Is Now The Most Decorated Gymnast In World Championship History
Simone Biles stands alone atop the world of gymnastics, again. Her gold-medal performance on the beam in Stuttgart, Germany, made Biles the most decorated gymnast in world championship history with 24. Here’s what her record-breaking outing looked like:...