im Page 402 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The "Progressive Liberal" Is Maybe The Perfect Wrestling Heel
Kentucky-based Appalachian Mountain Wrestling has graced the world with the presence of “Progressive Liberal” Dan Richards. He definitely isn’t a face....
Here Are Some Ugly Dogs
Martha, a 3-year-old Neapolitan Mastiff, took first prize at the World’s Ugliest Dog Contest, held annually at the Sonoma-Marin Fair in California. It was something of an upset—older, smaller, often hairless dogs tend to win these. But Martha reportedly impressed the judges by farting and flopping d...
Clint Dempsey 94th-Minute Goal Earns Draw For Short-Handed Seattle
Clint Dempsey silenced a Portland crowd—briefly, before they picked up a chant telling him to fuck himself—with a stoppage-time goal that earned his Seattle Sounders a 2-2 draw in their rivalry matchup against the Timbers....
Old Man Ichiro Becomes Oldest Man To Start In Center Since 1900
Beloved geezer Ichiro Suzuki is very nearly a mascot at this stage of his career, appearing in just 62 games so far for the crummy Marlins, and entered today with an abysmal .209/.242/.297 line that does not suggest he is a man who any longer belongs in the majors. But he’s still plugging away, and ...
Tim Tebow, Mets Savior, Is On The Move
Anthony DiComo of MLB.com is reporting the New York Mets are promoting Tim Tebow from Columbia to Class A St. Lucie, because he is a very good baseball man....
Thoughtful Humpback Whale Delivers Some Fish To New Jersey Fishermen
Get a load of this humpback whale, sending inches of seawater and a few fish into this vessel, and me into cardiac arrest:...
Danny Ainge Either Knows Something We Don't, Or He's A Horse's Ass
Celtics GM Danny Ainge has established a bit of a routine as he’s spent the past few years running the rich-getting-richer version of Sam Hinkie’s Process: The Celtics are rumored to be targeting this or that star or star-in-making in a potential trade, the gossip rises to a fever pitch, and then n...
The Orioles Have A Shot At Tying A Strange Record Tonight
The Baltimore Orioles have allowed five or more runs in each of their last 19 games, and tonight, they have a chance to tie the all-time record for most consecutive games with five or more runs allowed. ...
Wiseass At NBA Draft Shouts Out Picks Right Before They're Announced
Anyone with internet access can figure out the NBA Draft minutes before the picks are announced on TV. Adrian Wojnarowski used to spoil the ceremony, and now the task has been seemingly taken over by Wojbomb apprentice Shams Charania. But last night, even the people at the draft were spoiling the pi...
Cops Discover Meth Lab, Golf Cart Chop Shop In Retirement Community Garage<em></em>
The Villages, a hilariously-large retirement community in Florida, is the fastest-growing “city” in the country—with more than 117,000 people, 48 golf courses, geriatric sex (with a resulting high rate of STDs), and absolutely no children (they’re only permitted to visit for up to 30 days a year). R...
Is That Really All The Bulls Could Get For Jimmy Butler?
The Minnesota Timberwolves managed to snag Jimmy Butler from the Chicago Bulls last night, and the price they paid for him leaves me wondering how the hell no other teams snapped him up first....
Jimmy Butler's Trainer Has Met Drug Dealers With Better Morals Than Bulls GM Gar Forman
A few hours after Jimmy Butler was traded to the Timberwolves for some odds and ends lying around the office, his trainer had some strong words for the Bulls’ front office:...
Reports: Bulls Trade Jimmy Butler To Timberwolves For Zach LaVine, Kris Dunn
Days of frenzied Jimmy Butler trade rumors have apparently met their end, via reports from Adrian Wojnarowski and the Chicago Tribune’s K.C. Johnson, among others. The Bulls are sending Butler and their No. 16 draft pick to Minnesota in exchange for shooting guard Zach LaVine, point guard Kris Dunn ...
MLB To Potential Marlins<em></em> Owner: Nah, Jeets
Derek Jeter has been trying to buy the Miami Marlins from their gross owner Jeffrey Loria for a few months, but things have not been going well for him lately. His good friend Jeb Bush dropped out of a joint pursuit with Jeets three weeks ago, and he reportedly spoke to MLB officials today and told ...
Juventus Teen's Dad Demands Club Pay Him In Farming Equipment Like They Promised
After becoming the first player born this millennium to appear in a match in one of Europe’s big five leagues last season, 17-year-old Juventus forward Moise Kean is already making hay in Serie A. Moise’s father, however, is upset at Juve for hampering his ability to make rice and corn back in Ivory...
Max Scherzer Loses No-Hitter, Game, In Infuriating Fashion
Max Scherzer came very close to throwing a no-hitter while you were eating lunch. And then, with one out in the eighth inning, everything went to shit. It was a quintessential Max Scherzer game until it wasn’t, and it was yet another display of Dusty Baker’s peculiar judgment. ...
Minor League GM Apologizes For Razzing Tim Tebow
Tim Tebow, who used to be a bad NFL player and is now a bad minor-league baseball player with the Columbia Fireflies, took some ribbing from the Charleston RiverDogs this past weekend. Now the RiverDogs are very sorry about it....
Look At This Fucked Up Strawberry I Bought
The berry is as big as my palm....
![Lakers Send D'Angelo Russell To Brooklyn For Brook Lopez [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/fmzvl2qhlwsnz9n9n5uj.jpg)
Lakers Send D'Angelo Russell To Brooklyn For Brook Lopez [Update]
The second big trade domino has fallen ahead of Thursday’s NBA draft. According to Adrian Wojnarowski, the Los Angeles Lakers will send point guard D’Angelo Russell and NBA Finals hero Timofey Mozgov to Brooklyn in exchange for Brook Lopez and the 27th pick in the draft....
Kristaps Porzingis Has Produced The Only Relatable Athlete Workout Videos
This afternoon LeBron James posted a video of himself kneeling on a rubber sphere while waggling a large rubbery wand, that, per our own Tim Burke’s experiences, is liable to knock you right on your ass should you stop waggling it at the right rate. Every fiber of James’s action-figure torso strains...