im Page 411 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jim Harbaugh Delivers <i>Gladiator</i> Monologue In His Special Style
Jim Harbaugh and the Michigan football team are, for some reason, still in Italy, and boy, is Harbaugh making the most of it. He enjoyed the sights. He met the Pope and gave him some Michigan swag. He saw and was inspired by an opera....
Boxing Is Betting It All On Anthony Joshua
Some of the people I write about are still alive and have done things that can’t be protected by the statute of limitations. For that reason, I won’t provide some names or talk about some things that happened. There are also people who are still alive who did me favors. I’d hardly be repaying them b...
Parade Of Errors Helps Orioles Score On Little League Inside-The-Park Home Run
Kevin Kiermaier is one of the best defensive center fielders in the game, but tonight, he helped give the Orioles a pair of undeserved runs. Kiermaier’s error was the least decisive of the series of fuck-ups that gifted Seth Smith a little league inside-the-park home run, he just started what became...
Pope Francis Scores Some Sweet New Kicks From Jim Harbaugh
Jim Harbaugh, Michigan’s favorite woke slam poet, joined his wife Sarah in visiting the Vatican on Wednesday, gifting Pope Francis with a Wolverine football helmet and a pair of basketball shoes. The pope reportedly told the Harbaughs to “Pray for me, don’t forget.” According to Sarah, Jim was left ...
Do Jeb And Jeets Have Enough Money To Buy The Marlins?
Yesterday, Bloomberg reported that a group led by Jeb Bush and Derek Jeter had won the bidding to buy the Miami Marlins. But a whole host of conflicting reports indicate that may not be time to say “yeah Jeets” (or, gross, “yeah Jeb”) just yet....
Manny Machado Got Evan Longoria Out With A Smart Little Heads-Up Play
The Baltimore Orioles lost 2-0 to the Tampa Bay Rays tonight but Manny Machado made the heads-up baseball play of the night when he smartly read the spin on Evan Longoria’s foul ball and nabbed him at first....
Reports: Jeb And Jeets Got The Marlins
According to multiple reports, the ownership group led by Derek Jeter and Jeb Bush has submitted the winning bid to purchase the Miami Marlins from disgusting rich person Jeffrey Loria....
Look At Giannis
Images of Giannis Antetokounmpo dunking the ball are often paired with breathless references to Inspector Gadget/Mr. Fantastic/MJ in Space Jam/Stretch Armstrong, to call attention to his lengthy tentacles. But have you considered the possibility that those tentacles look just as wild when he’s just ...
Jim Harbaugh Sure Enjoyed Himself On His Big Italian Vacation
Jim Harbaugh and the Michigan Wolverines went to Rome for reasons that are unknown and uninteresting to me. What I am interested in are the various images of Jim Harbaugh enjoying his vacay that have been shared on social media....
If At First You Don't Succeed, Try Again And Again And Again And Again And Again And Again And Again And Again And Again And Again And Again
If baseball is inherently a game of failure, the slog through the minor leagues can sometimes seem like a study in ignominious repetition. The long bus rides, bad hotels, and sparsely-attended games in forgettable towns: I imagine it can all start to feel like throwing a beach ball into the wind....
Red Sox Flub Stupid Attempt To Follow Dumb Unwritten Rule
The Red Sox gloriously botched an attempt to stupidly retaliate at Manny Machado for a hard slide that unintentionally spiked Dustin Pedroia on Friday. Reliever Matt Barnes tried throwing a 90-mph pitch directly at Machado’s head in the eighth inning......
The Red Sox And Orioles Have A Little Beef After Manny Machado Spiked Dustin Pedroia
Things got heated between the Red Sox and Orioles after last night’s eighth inning, when Dustin Pedroia had to leave the game after being spiked by Manny Machado as he tried to turn a double play....
Summer Is Here! Let's Grill Up A Tentacled Monster
It’s gonna be a bright 88 degrees fahrenheit in the nation’s capital next week. Whatever the hell the calendar says, summertime is upon us. There is no force in all the universe that can take it back, now that it has been freely given. No backsies on this one, nature....
I'm Jealous Of This Photographer's Situation
This towel-draped snowbird, posted up on the clay courts of Monte Carlo snapping photos of some of the world’s best tennis players, is my new hero. If you know who she is, please tell me so I can follow her life’s path. ...
Report: Knee Injury Will Keep Zlatan Ibrahimović Out For Rest Of Season
Zlatan Ibrahimović, Manchester United’s ageless striker, hyperextended his knee in yesterday’s Europa League match against Anderlecht. It looked like a bad injury in live time, and indeed it appears it was: Sky Sports is reporting that the injury is likely to end Ibrahimović’s season early....
Donald Trump Celebrates His Very Good Friends, The Patriots, With A Dull Party<em></em><em></em>
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Tom Brady was taking the day off....
Florida Gators Mascot Sacrifices Big Dumb Head To Protect Kid From Foul Ball
Albert, the Florida Gators’ mascot, gave up his life for a kid’s when a foul ball came his way in Tuesday’s baseball game against North Florida....
Grigor Dimitrov Just Can't Seem To Break Through
Grigor Dimitrov, the talented but streaky member of a generation of men’s tennis players that’s been largely overshadowed by the longevity of the Federer-Nadal-Djokovic cohort, looked poised to break out in 2017 when he started the year by winning 17 of 18 matches, knocking off three top-10 seeds al...
Ichiro Socks First-Pitch Home Run In What Might Be His Final At-Bat In Seattle
Ichiro and the Miami Marlins wrapped up a three-game series up in Seattle this afternoon, losing two of the three games to the Mariners. The last time the Marlins came to Seattle, they played as the “home team” due to a confounding U2-related scheduling conflict at their old ballpark in Miami that f...