im Page 617 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

It's An Enthusiastic Crowd At Rogers Centre Tonight, Especially These Two Blue Jays Fans Who Got A Bit Handjobby
Blowjob pantomimes are so passé. I mean, you can find them in hockey, in baseball, and even college football. For the new wave, we must look to Canada....

Former NBA Player Javaris Crittenton Indicted On Murder Charges
You've probably forgotten about Javaris Crittenton by now. He's the guy who threatened to shoot Gilbert Arenas in the knee over an unpaid boo-ray debt in January of 2010, and was then accused of murdering a 22-year-old mother of four in August of 2011. Crittenton has been out on bond since being cha...


Bubba Watson Has A Hovercraft Golf Cart
Bubba Watson continues to be the most made-for-the-internet golfer in America. He's taken some time off from dropping hip hop tracks to help develop the world's first golf cart that is also a hovercraft. We are glad that he has done this, because this hovercraft is awesome. ...

She Don't Use Jelly, She Uses Tim Tebow And Dwyane Wade And LeBron Jam
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....

Here's Rick Reilly On CNN Tonight Saying "Pimps Up, Hoes Down, Ass Up, Nose Down"
Rick Reilly dropped by CNN tonight to talk about who-gives-a-shit, and for some reason elected to give a performance of vile human being/alleged musician Chris Brown's music. It went as well as you think it would!...

Minor League Baseball Stadium Now Home To Two Ostriches
We got this press release earlier today and, man, it's great. The Reading Fightin Phils, the Phillies Double-A affiliate in Reading, Pennsylvania, just reached an agreement with an ostrich farm in New Jersey—which, what?— that will allow the team to keep two ostriches at the stadium....

Danny Boyle Mesmerizes Himself. <em>Trance</em>, Reviewed.
For director Danny Boyle, anything worth doing is worth overdoing. With each genre of movie he makes, you get the sense that he wants to be sure it's the most demonstrative of its kind ever. Trainspotting was the druggiest movie ever. 28 Days Later was the zombie-iest movie ever. Slumdog Millionaire...

For Anyone Who Doesn't Think Serena Williams Is Capable Of Being Bubbly
Serena beat Maria Sharapova today in Key Biscayne, Fla. But flying suds and big trophies reminded everyone that it's just a game, y'all!...

The Wolverines Beat Kansas Despite A Late-Game 99.4 Percent Chance Of Losing
The OMFGCU dream died last night around gone-to-bed o’clock, amid a flipbook of turnovers. Krzyzewski beat Izzo in the battle of the z’s. The Cardinals dispatched the Ducks. Higher seeds advancing, dynasties on the make, a swell Sunday set up....

An Encounter With La Salle's Lionel Simmons, Last Of The Local Gods
He was still the coolest guy in the building. Stylish sneakers, dark jeans, a navy-colored vest puffing out from a navy-colored sweatshirt. He was a little heavier now, and his close-cropped goatee had gone salt-and-pepper, but behind his black-rimmed eyeglasses he still wore that familiar sleepy lo...

Brian Urlacher's Brother Is Running For Mayor Of A Chicago Suburb
Reader Rory sends in the picture above of a Casey-Urlacher-for-Mayor-of-Mettawa sign taken on Mettawa's more successful hay farm. Aside from being the home of Casey Urlacher's political dreams, Mettawa is also the home of his older brother Brian's former team. ...

An Epic That Stumbles. <em>The Place Beyond The Pines</em>, Reviewed.
Director Derek Cianfrance's last film, Blue Valentine, was a crushing study of a couple (played by Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams) falling apart. It was beautifully made and well acted—I loved it—but the rawness of the emotions and the ambition of the structure (cycling between the present and t...
![Paterno Apologist Reveals Identity Of One Of Jerry Sandusky's Victims, Says He Was Hacked [UPDATED]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/q8roeqgitopsujfwg4bs.jpg)
Paterno Apologist Reveals Identity Of One Of Jerry Sandusky's Victims, Says He Was Hacked [UPDATED]
We told you yesterday about filmmaker John Ziegler's lunatic shouting tour to promote his jailhouse interview with Jerry Sandusky. Ziegler had hoped to use that interview to help rescue Joe Paterno and other Penn State officials from allegations that they covered up Jerry Sandusky's sex crimes again...

This Will Be Tim McCarver's Last Season At Fox
Whoa, it actually happened. Tim McCarver's 17-year-reign at Fox (and at CBS and ABC before that, and in our autumn nightmares every year) is all over. The 71-year-old poet of the obvious will stop calling games for Fox at the end of this season, the network announced today. This is especially good n...

Ryan Lochte Is Getting A Reality Show And It Looks So Dumb
Reality TV is inherently shitty, so it's hard to judge Olympic gold medalist and über-bro Ryan Lochte too harshly for laying What Would Ryan Lochte Do? at our feet. A guy's gotta do what he can to stay relevant these days. ...

Minor League Baseball Stadium To Turn Urinals Into Video Game Systems
This isn't a surprising development, really, considering how much dudes enjoy video games and peeing. Coca-Cola Park, home to the Lehigh Valley IronPigs—the Triple-A affiliate of the Philadelphia Phillies—is set to become the first sports venue to feature "urinal gaming systems." Those are video gam...

Who Is This Paterno Apologist Who Keeps Making An Ass Of Himself On TV?
If the name John Ziegler doesn't register with you, enlighten yourself by reading the late David Foster Wallace's lengthy 2005 profile of him in The Atlantic. Ziegler, a former talk-radio host who's now a documentary filmmaker, has been making the media rounds the last couple of days because he rece...

Tennis Player Stung By Wasp Right On The Backside
Florida: it's a horrible place. When Lauren Davis met Alize Cornet in the Sony Open at Key Biscayne on Sunday, the temperature was in the 90s with a solid wall of humidity. Both players were failing by the second set, and both players left the court in wheelchairs after Cornet's 2-6, 6-3, 6-2 victor...

Steve Nash "Knows How To Rub Off A Man"
Not with speed, necessarily, but with—actually, just forget it. If you need me, I'll be in the corner giggling with my 13-year-old-sense-of-humored peers. ...