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Ray Lewis Is A Festivus Miracle
Going back to Brian Billick's days in Baltimore, the Ravens have refused to say the word "playoffs." Instead, the team adopted a code word to be used by the entire organization when describing post-season play (and selling merch): Festivus....

Whimsical Local News Segment On The Vikings Turns Violent, Hilarious
Everyone in Minnesota was in a frenzy about the Vikings' rematch with the rival Packers yesterday. So, local news stations, why not send your reporters to fancy-looking restaurants to see how football-crazy the town is? As Edward R. Murrow said, "One can never go wrong with the two Fs and P. The tw...

A Mad Genius Zlatan Ibrahimovic Fan Bought His Favorite Player's Domain Name, Will Give It Back If He Completes One Of Twelve Challenges
Paris Saint-Germain acquired the services of Zlatan Ibrahimovic from AC Milan over the summer, and since his old team confirmed that he'd be heading to the Paris club, "Ibrahimovic," reports UK's Metro, has been "rumoured to be looking to strengthen his marketing ties in France." That could conceiva...

<em>Newsday</em>, Like Twitter Users, Simply Cannot Tell Brian Kelly And Chip Kelly Apart
Two college football coaches, both named Kelly. Chip has just completed a marvelous season marred only by the fact that his Oregon Ducks did not get to compete for a national championship and stand to finish third or perhaps second in the final polls. Brian has one of the two teams playing for the n...

How To Make Shrimp Linguine: A Guide For Lovers
Look. Wonderful as these foodstuffs are, it's not all pot roasts and chili and disturbingly alien holiday candies out there in the world of eating; nor should it be in your kitchen. Sometimes you're not looking to spend all day slow-cooking some large quantity of rich, meaty food to serve to a lot o...

Lance Armstrong May Or May Not Admit To Doing The Thing For Which He's Most Famous
The New York Times is reporting that professional doper Lance Armstrong may admit to doping for professional gain, because he would gain professionally from the admission by fast-tracking the process by which he could compete in sporting events again. It takes some work to remember a time when Arms...

Moose Chasing Someone Skiing? Moose Chasing Someone Skiing.
Sometime around Christmas, somewhere on a slope at Sugarbush, a ski resort in Vermont. Moose chasing someone skiing....

Here's A 29-Team Roundup Of Fans' Dumbest Giancarlo Stanton Trade Proposals
Originally published in Baseball Prospectus....

Who Has The Funnier Challenge-Flag-Throwing Motion, Andy Reid Or Jim Harbaugh?
The Deadspin NFL Coach Challenge Challenge is a tournament pitting the throwing motions of 20 NFL coaches against one another....

Ray Lewis Is A Complicated Problem Who Played Football With Simple Greatness
It’s easy enough to be cynical about Ray Lewis, after the 17-year veteran linebacker announced his impending retirement yesterday. In the foreground, there’s the recent image of Lewis, now that the years have reduced his ability to contribute on-field: the ridiculous, spasmodic dancing; the incessa...

Bonnie Bernstein Explains Ray Lewis's Crimes With An Unfortunate Parable About Middle Schoolers Smoking
Somewhere along the line, we as a nation apparently chose to forgive/forget the fact that Ray Lewis was involved in a murder at a Super Bowl party in 2000. That Lewis and his friends got into a fight with another group, and two people in that other group were stabbed to death. That Lewis lied to cop...

Thunder Fan Gets All Skeeved Out After Touching Kris Humphries
In case you didn't know, sweaty athletes are really sweaty, so we don't recommend reaching out to touch them as they walk by. Right around the 10-second mark of the video above, keep your eye on the woman in the blue shirt. Much like Kim Kardashian, she seems eager to get a piece of Kris Humphries...

Colts Owner Jim Irsay Is Ready For The Playoffs: "Time To Let The Monster Feed!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The Andrew Luck-led Indianapolis Colts, by some unexplainable circumstance, pulled off an 11-5 record this season and secured a wild-card playoff game against the Baltimore Ravens this Sunday. Colts owner Jim Irsay? Oh, he's ready to party, as you can see for yourself. (Of course, Irsay's self-portr...

Tom Rinaldi And Tim Tebow Shared A Very Special Moment On The Sidelines During Tonight's Sugar Bowl
Resident ESPN tearjerker Tom Rinaldi caught up with resident ESPN topic-jacker Tim Tebow tonight in the first half of the Sugar Bowl in New Orleans, and from the looks of things it was a blissful moment. We'll warn Tebow now, though, that if he hears any tinkling piano he'd best start running. (Al...

Minnesota Timberwolves Guard Lazar Hayward Sees Dead People
You probably don't know much about Lazar Hayward. He was drafted out of Marquette by the Minnesota Timberwolves at the end of the first round in the 2010 draft, was traded to Oklahoma City a year ago, was then shipped to Houston as part of the James Harden deal, and was finally released in October....

Maurice Clarett's Girlfriend Is Wanted By Police For Allegedly Beating Up Maurice Clarett
More bad news for the former Ohio State running back, though he's not the one accused of any wrongdoing this time. From the Columbus Dispatch:...

This Guy Died In 2012: Lonesome George, The Last Of His Kind
What's your greatest fear? There's a very good chance you said "dying alone," because that's pretty much the worst way to end a life. No legacy, no testament to the things you've accomplished, no hope that anything you've done will outlive you. Very few of us die as alone as Lonesome George, who pas...

"Tim Tebow Is Gay," And Other Tips From 2012 We Didn't Follow Up On: The Year In Deadspin Deleted Scenes
A lot of our stories begin as tips from readers. (Have any? Send 'em here!) Sometimes, these tips don't pan out for one reason or another. Here are a bunch of emails we got in 2012 that never turned into stories, either because we couldn't confirm them or because they were so utterly ridiculous we d...

Elated Redskins Fan Tackling A Christmas Tree? Elated Redskins Fan Tackling A Christmas Tree
The description of this YouTube video reads: "if the redskins make the playoffs, i'm going to tackle the christmas tree!" - dad. Well, dad did not disappoint, and we are all better for it. I can't imagine an image that more perfectly captures the joy of holiday season football than that of a grown...
![Dancing, Yawning, And Picking Our Noses Into The Sunset: Your Sunday NFL GIF Roundup [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/189zgitsb63ozgif.gif)
Dancing, Yawning, And Picking Our Noses Into The Sunset: Your Sunday NFL GIF Roundup [UPDATE]
We'll be putting all our GIFs for the day here, from every last person in the league—coaches, players, mascots—breaking out that one dance move they've been saving up all year, to a referee in New Orleans thinking he could pick his nose because no one was watching. We'll update the post as the late...