im Page 643 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
"I'll Shove That Lax Stick Up Your Ass": A University Of Akron Football Player Flips Out On Fellow Students
The University of Akron Zips are not doing so hot in football this season. They're 0-7 in the conference and 1-10 overall. With talk of the University of Maryland heading to the Big Ten conference, Taylor Smith, an Akron student with ties to Maryland (she wrote "Heart in Maryland" in her Twitter bi...
We've Probably Seen The Last Of Brandon Roy
After playing just five games in his comeback season with the Minnesota Timberwolves, Brandon Roy is scheduled to have yet another knee surgery. The seventh of his career. The Oregonian is reporting that Roy is scheduled to have arthroscopic surgery on his right knee later this week....
The Kansas City Chiefs (Basically) Killed A Guy
Seriously, that's what the obituary in the Kansas City Star says. "Loren G. 'Sam' Lickteig died on November 14 as a result of (OK, fine—complications due to multiple sclerosis—but also) "heartbreaking disappointment caused by the Kansas City football team."...
Orioles Prospect Needs To Find A New Superstition Now That Hostess Has Closed Up Shop
Orioles pitching prospect Kevin Gausman was drafted by the Baltimore Orioles, signed to a $4.23 million signing bonus and pitched 15 innings of professional baseball this year. Because baseball players are weirdos, Gausman must eat four powdered mini-doughnuts prior to each inning he pitches. Obviou...
Miguel Angel Jimenez Becomes Oldest Player To Win On European Tour, Remains Coolest Dude In Golf
There are essentially two reasons for this post on the 48-year-old Spaniard. One is the video above. It remains as magnificently hypnotic as ever and should be viewed at least twice a year, as needed. The other is the quote below, following his win at the Hong Kong Open....
Jason Kidd Plus A Scalp Wound Plus A Headband Equals A Wes Anderson Character
The Knicks are playing the Pacers this afternoon at Madison Square Garden. As of this writing, the Knicks had a 16-point lead halfway through the third quarter. Sadly, Jason Kidd suffered a head injury and was replaced by what appears to be a scalped Bob Balaban....
Alabama Is At The Center Of A Photograph As Horrifying As It Is Puzzling
We received this picture of a reveling goblin-man delighting in fire and emptiness under the subject "ROLL TIDE!" No further information was provided. Aside from the Nightmare at sea level to the right, we are unsure what we are looking at....
Beer Of The Week: Stella Artois, Belgium's Allegedly French Beer
Apparently Stella Artois used to be advertised in the U.K. under the slogan "reassuringly expensive." Without knowing the relative merits of price and quality across the pond, I can only rejoice that such a snotty tagline has gone the way of doctors prescribing cigarettes. There is nothing reassurin...
The Marlins Specifically Promised Not To Trade Jose Reyes And Mark Buehrle, Traded Jose Reyes And Mark Buehrle
Need another reason to hate the Marlins? Let's add this to the list (there's seriously a list): not only did the Miami Marlins and their awful ownership trade away half the team—they did so despite promising at least two stars, who signed with the Marlins this summer hoping to stay in Miami for some...
The Mismanaged, Crazy Jets Might Be Keeping Tebow On The Bench Because They Can't Afford The Incentives In His Contract
One of the great things about the Jets this year—the only great thing, perhaps—is that by dealing for Tim Tebow, emphasizing the extent to which they'd use him (they said it would 25% of snaps), and not using him nearly that much (it was 10.1% before week ten and inched slightly higher after), they'...
This Week's Signs Of The Apocalypse
For nearly two decades, Sports Illustrated has stirred the tea leaves to discern a weekly Sign of the Apocalypse. Deadspin salutes the magazine's ongoing effort to cover the end of times but declines to cede the scoop on the biggest event in world history....
Lee Corso Almost Killed A Duck On College Gameday
At this point, we have no grounds for saying whether or not the duck is dead. The duck could be alive, it could be in the final, painful throes of death, it could be totally OK—maybe ducks are more resilient than they look. Maybe. We're not veterinarians. All we know is that the duck was not happy...
We Are Impressed With These Expressions By McKayla Maroney And Barack Obama
There are some things I would be as an Olympic medalist, you tell yourself. You'd chaperone your medal to kids in hospitals, and perform random feats of strength and speed for strangers who recognized you, smiling for flip-phone camera shots in terrible lighting. You'd make sure to have a funny Loch...
Don't Worry, Rest Of College Football, Alabama's Only Getting The Leading High School Rusher Of All Time Next Year
It's been a good week for college football teams not named "Alabama" because they've been able to bask in the notion, however mistaken, that the gap Alabama between themselves and Alabama is closing. A loss to Texas A&M dropped the Crimson Tide to a previously unthinkable 9-1, and now the team finds...
<em>Life Of Pi</em>'s Ang Lee: The World's Least-Cool Great Director
It's hard to classify Ang Lee, whose latest movie, Life of Pi, comes out on Wednesday. He's a respected, acclaimed director—he won an Oscar for Brokeback Mountain—but he's not in any one niche. He's not a purely commercial filmmaker—his one stab at that was Hulk—but he's also not a challenging, prov...
Mayor Of Miami Writes Letter To Bud Selig Imploring Him To Stop The Marlins Trade
It's not just Marlins fans and baseball bloggers that are mad at Jeffrey Loria for gutting the Marlins roster yet again. Now the Mayor of Miami is lobbying for Bud Selig to prevent the Marlins from sticking the city of Miami with a brand new stadium that nobody wants to go to because the team's ros...
Some Texas A&M Fan Snuck Onto The Field And Watched The Alabama Game From The Aggies' Sideline
Texas A&M's upset of Alabama was undoubtedly a thrill for every Aggie fan. But imagine what it must have been like for the guy in the top right corner of the photo above. No wonder dude jogged off the field at halftime with such a shit-eating grin: On an A&M message board, he tells the story of how ...
The <em>B.S. Report</em> Report: Back To Basketball
Julia Alvidrez, Gawker Media's operations manager, is an unabashed fan of Bill Simmons and everything Grantland. She is also an occasional reader of Deadspin. Every week, she will recap Simmons's podcast, The B.S. Report, for us....
"Driver's License Belonging to David Petraeus's Lover Found By”: A Brief Index Of Recent Notable Events Involving Joggers
An occasional miscellany (with a head nod toward this great old post on Runner's World's website)....
Which NFL Pundits Have Made The Worst Predictions So Far This Year? Grading ESPN, CBS, And Yahoo
Republished with permission from PunditTracker.com....