im Page 684 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Marlins Have Become The (Original) Kings Of Comedy
The Miami Marlins are 1-3 so far in their dream season. They'd be fifth in the NL East if not for the fact that an NL East team (Atlanta) had to play the New York JuggerMets and consequently didn't win a game. Their manager offended, like, half of Miami. Someone's squatting on their domain name. The...

Tim Tebow's Sermon On The Hill
If there were any doubt about Tim Tebow's portrayal in the press as the living embodiment of Jesus Christ, this write up of a question and answer session Tebow gave this afternoon is the final nail in palm. Maybe it's deliberately tongue in cheek, but forgive me if I have my doubts....

Spend This Easter Sunday With Tim Tebow, A Supreme Court Justice's Cousin And A Cocaine Businessman
In a win for guile over coincidence this weekend, the New York Daily News has a fluffy profile piece on the redemptive powers of Tim Tebow highlighted by the story of four criminals (rather than the traditional two). It is your standard fare: Tim Tebow is a good Christian, visits prison, inspires i...

Ozzie Guillen Said Something Crazy About Fidel Castro
Ozzie Guillén said he loved Fidel Castro. Can you believe it? Guillén said he respects Fidel Castro. Are you hearing this? In Miami, with a large demographic of people who have fled Cuba to get away from Castro, people are losing their shit. Or, at least, we are being told that people are losing th...

Sports Radio Personality Sid Rosenberg Arrested For DUI After Cops Found Him In The Fetal Position Covered In His Own Vomit
Sid Rosenberg is (was?) a sports radio personality in Miami. You may remember him from his days as a sports sidekick on the Imus program, where he was no stranger to controversy—including his "quip" noting Venus and Serena Williams would be better off in National Geographic than Playboy. Real solid...
![Camden Yards Streaker Was Clad In Undies And A Cape [Update: It May Have Been Batman]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17isrz24pb5vyjpg.jpg)
Camden Yards Streaker Was Clad In Undies And A Cape [Update: It May Have Been Batman]
Videos and photos are emerging from today's Orioles game that shows what may have been the introduction of Charm City's newest crusader for justice. Or maybe just a drunk kid who had a cape in the garage. Baseball's back!...

"Motherfuckin' Shit! Take Your Ass Home!" Or, Why The Baltimore Orioles Matter
The best night of the 2011 baseball season in Baltimore was the final one. For once, for the first time in years, the whole country was watching. And what it saw was a thing of joy. There were the Boston Red Sox, all $161 million worth of them, one out away from a 3-2 victory and, at worst, a one-ga...

Augusta Has Become Impossible Over The Years: A Pretty Graphic Explaining The Design Changes
Co. Design has as their infographic of the day a sharp poster explaining how Augusta has changed since the first Masters in 1934. So verdant! [Co. Design]...

This Is What Happens When You Accuse A Notre Dame Football Player Of Sexually Assaulting You
Last week, the National Catholic Reporter published a lengthy piece on reported sexual assaults at Notre Dame. Its fulcrum is the case involving Lizzy Seeberg, a 19-year-old freshman at nearby St. Mary's College who committed suicide in September 2010, just 10 days after she was allegedly sexually a...

Jeffrey Loria Had A Marlins Park Cake With Swarovski Crystals And A Working Retractable Roof
After trotting out Muhammad Ali like a show pony, the Marlins owner welcomed friends and colleagues to his luxury suite on opening night with this cake: a custom made replica of Marlins Park. That bigass logo? It's 3,600 crystals. Probably worth more than your life. I swear to god, this thing better...

In New York, You No Longer Have To Keep Your Dead Racehorse
The practice just about everywhere is that horses are purchased right before a claiming race, and immediately become the property of their new owner—even if the horse breaks down and dies. This has been causing problems, especially at Aqueduct Racetrack, where the Winter Meet death toll is nearing 2...

20 Years Ago, Hollywood Became Self-Aware; Or, How A Robert Altman Movie Helped Create TMZ
Everybody loves a comeback. It's always gratifying to see an athlete or musician or actor rebound from a potentially career-threatening injury or drug problems or racist comment and re-emerge to reign triumphant again. Of course, there's also a selfish component to other people's comebacks: On some ...

From The Sports Guy Vault: Bill Simmons Says Tear Down Fenway Park
Let's return to the Bill Simmons Archive, a collection of Boston Sports Guy columns salvaged from the defunct AOL Digital Cities. In honor of Red Sox opening day, let's look at an old column calling for the demolition of Fenway Park—and the construction of something totally new and different in its ...

Will Kimbrough Welcomes You To Opening Day With A Special Version Of "Take Me Out To The Ballgame"
What's more American than beginning the Major League season spread over four days in two weeks on two continents? How about an American singing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" in Sweden? Here's the first in a series of exclusive renditions of our national pastime's theme song we'll be featuring on Dea...

At Least One Marlins Fan Wasn't Happy Karl Ravech Insulted Their Centerfield Home Run Sculpture
ESPN would come to regret their sarcastic take on the Marlins' new digs—"center field home run thing" being one of Ravech's phrases—but the Worldwide Leader should count their blessings. After all, Miamians have been known to react a bit more violently to perceived slights; a dude flipping his midd...

Police Draw Guns On Angels Outfielder Torii Hunter Outside His Home (UPDATE)
Four-time All-Star Torii Hunter was at home this afternoon when his security alarm started going off. The cops showed up, didn't believe he lived there, and actually drew their weapons on him. Hunter relayed the entire ordeal via his Twitter feed:...

Better Know An Umpire: Tim Welke
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year....

The Marlins Opened Their New Stadium In The Saddest, Most Awkward Way Possible
Marlins Park is the new jewel of Miami, and team owner Jeffrey Loria must've figured it wise to use a big-time celebrity with some Miami cred to deliver the ceremonial first pitch ball. (Also, it'd be a sly way of avoiding any boos on what was supposed to be a celebratory moment.) Loria's choice ...

The Marlins Have Scheduled A Five-Minute Standing Ovation After The First Pitch Tonight
Tweets Jayson Stark: "Still no word on who's throwing out first pitch at Marlins Park. But MLB has scheduled a 5-minute standing O when he or she is announced." Hmm. Jeb Bush?...

Document Reveals What Joe Paterno Would Have Said About Jerry Sandusky If Given The Chance
Don Van Natta Jr.'s lengthy account of the Penn State scandal for an upcoming issue of ESPN The Magazine does not contain a whole lot of new information for anyone who's been following the story closely. It is, however, an excellent overall summary of the case—particularly Pennsylvania governor Tom ...