im Page 709 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

A Little Pujols Math To Infuriate Cardinals Fans
In 2009, Albert Pujols said this:...

Tim Tebow Is My Seaweed-Wrapped Japanese Rice Ball
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Your Rolando McClain Perp Walk Grin Photoshop Roundup
When we put out the call last week for photoshops of the fantastic perp walk photo of Oakland Raiders linebacker Rolando McClain (above), we knew you'd be up to the challenge; we knew you'd make us laugh like all hell at the sheer absurdity of it all. And you didn't disappoint. In all honesty, I w...

Kris Humphries's Worst Year Ever Culminates In "KRIS IS GAY!" Tabloid Cover
As the year-end lists filter in this month, remember this: Not many people have had a more humiliating year than NBA free agent Kris Humphries. A year ago, Humphries was known as a mediocre pro basketball player who came off a mediocre bench for the mediocre New Jersey Nets. Now, after a 72-day marr...

Shane Battier Announces He's Joining The Heat Via Jimmy Buffett Quote
If you were looking for a fresh reason to hate on the Miami Heat this year, Shane Battier's come through for you. The Grizzlies forward announced on Twitter this morning that he's joining the Heat. Somehow, a Jimmy Buffett reference made it into the mix. That alone almost makes this more damning tha...

Every "Tebow" Uttered On ESPN's "TebowCenter" Today
In what was either a rare act of self-awareness or a complete lack thereof on behalf of the Worldwide Leader, ESPN dedicated an entire hour of SportsCenter today to Tim Tebow, managing to mention the Denver quarterback's name no fewer than 88 times in the process—all of which were painstakingly ed...

Ken Rosenthal Throws Himself Against The Wall
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day. Photo via @joecapMARLINS. This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!...

Ricky Rubio Can't Believe How Much Basketball These Crazy Americans Play
Ricky's finally set to play NBA ball, but there's a learning curve here in Amurrica: "Yesterday I was looking at the schedule and putting in my iPad, and I was saying 16, 17, 18," he joked with reporters today. "I mean, three games in a row? What the hell?" Also news for Rubio: It snows in Minnesota...

Somebody In Denver Got This Awful "Tebow Time" Centaur Tattoo On His Thigh
And the dude who did came into a tattoo parlor with that rendering and actually asked to have it done. Afterward, even the artist who put it there felt compelled to ask the man if he had lost a bet. He hadn't. [Larry Brown Sports]...

"Do You Think Your Nomination Into The HOF Illegitimizes The HOF?" And Other Awkward Questions For Tim McCarver
The media conference call with Tim McCarver that accompanied this morning's announcement of his Hall of Fame award got off to a rocky start (which may have been our fault) when the first question was "What, exactly, is your vendetta against the New York Yankees?" It went downhill from there, espec...

The Case Against Bernie Fine Is Falling Apart
Here's the latest on the child sex abuse allegations against former Syracuse assistant basketball coach Bernie Fine. It's starting to look like Fine might indeed escape criminal prosecution for two reasons:...

ESPN Is Making Its 2 P.M. <em>SportsCenter</em> "TebowCenter" Today
What, you didn't have enough ammo to dislike ESPN beforehand? You weren't tired of all the Tebow talk?...

Jerry Sandusky Applied For A Coaching Job Last Year, Was Rejected For Pretty Obvious Reasons
The investigation into Jerry Sandusky's alleged sex abuse of the boy now known as Victim 1 began in 2008, and a grand jury was impaneled in 2009 to look into claims from additional victims, but that didn't stop ol' Jerry from seeking a job as a volunteer assistant coach at Division III Juniata Coll...

To Participate In The 11 A.M. Conference Call With Frick Award Winner Tim McCarver, Dial 1-800-269-4378
Today, sportscaster Tim McCarver was named the winner of the 2012 Ford C. Frick Award in honor of his "broadcasting excellence." The Baseball Hall of Fame is hosting a conference call with the honoree at 11 a.m. ET. To participate, dial 1-800-269-4378 and provide the password: "Frick." You may also ...

Tim McCarver Is Being Inducted Into Honored By The Baseball Hall Of Fame For His "Broadcasting Excellence"
The Hall just announced that McCarver is the winner of the 2012 Ford C. Frick Award, which has previously gone to such notable voices as Mel Allen, Ernie Harwell, Vin Scully, Bob Prince, Jack Buck, Harry Caray, and Harry Kalas. McCarver is likely the only one in that club who thinks "strike" is a f...

Nebraska's Star Volleyball Player Gets Off Easy For Hitting A Motorcyclist While Driving Suspended
Considering that I've chronicled 2,119 hit-and-runs across the country since last January, the stories — to a certain extent — have stopped shocking me. That whole numbing-effect thing....

Jared Allen Told Ray Edwards, "I'm Going To Punch You Square In Your Wiener, Dude" Before Punching Him Square In The Wiener
Maybe you've seen the video circulating this week that shows Minnesota's Jared Allen punching Atlanta's Ray Edwards directly in the crotch during the Falcons' 24-14 win in Week 12. If not, here it is, and here's Allen's frank explanation of the incident from today's episode of PFT Live:...

Beating Victim Identified LeGarrette Blount As "The Leader" In September Attack, But Didn't Press Charges
What's known is this: On Sept. 11, just after the Tampa Bay Buccaneers opened the season with a loss at home to the Detroit Lions, a 34-year-old man named Gary Holmer was severely beaten by two men after a minor car accident in which his vehicle knocked the mirror off another vehicle outside an apa...
![Raheem Brock To Washington State Cops During DUI Stop: "You Guys Don't Take Care Of Your Athletes Out Here?" [UPDATED]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18j4qydm504ppjpg.jpg)
Raheem Brock To Washington State Cops During DUI Stop: "You Guys Don't Take Care Of Your Athletes Out Here?" [UPDATED]
Maybe there was a reason Seahawks defensive end Raheem Brock felt he was within his rights pull a dine and dash on a $27 tab at a Philly restaurant, his conviction for which we told you about last week. It seems Brock is used to getting preferential treatment from police in Philly and in other plac...

The Two-Fisted, One-Eyed Misadventures Of Sportswriting's Last Badass
George Kimball hung upside down some 70 feet in the cold Manhattan air, still in need of a cigarette. Well, the doctors had said smoking would kill him, hadn't they? The previous autumn, they had found an inoperable cancerous tumor the size of a golf ball in his throat and given him six months to li...