im Page 741 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Novak Djokovic Is So Good That He Already Won Tomorrow's Match
Take note, aspiring tennisfolk, because this is the kind of thing that happens for you if you're on a 41-match win streak in 2011....

Deadspin Classic: Here Are Some Really Happy Dogs Welcoming Soldiers Home
This post originally ran on Veterans Day 2010. No less affecting today....

Buckeye Nation Has Some Nasty Words For Former WR And Newspaper Source Ray Small
Small, who played for OSU from 2006-2010, gave a long interview to OSU's student paper last week, in which he said, among other things, that he sold all his Big Ten championship rings and got some exquisite deals from local car dealerships. "I don't see why it's a big deal," he said....

Ding, Dong, The Vest Is Dead: Jim Tressel Resigns
Stay tuned. There'll be more to this, we imagine. There's a reason he quit in the early morning on Take Out the Trash Day. Even if he was fighting back tears....

Jimmie Johnson's Crew Chief: "You Gotta Be Fucking Kidding Me," To National Fox Audience
In all fairness, the car Chad Knaus was watching did appear to, you know, blow up at tonight's Coca-Cola 600. Johnson finished 28th. Kevin Harvick won, after Dale Earnhardt, Jr., who was leading, ran out of gas on the last lap. I'm told it's quite expensive these days....

FC Barcelona Proved They Were The Best Team In All Of Professional Sports Yesterday
Your morning roundup for May 29, the day Roger Ebert inexplicably gave two thumbs down to those who blatantly allowed two eyes to check out two foreign boobs....

It Wouldn't Be The Start Of Memorial Day Weekend Without A Gnarly Skiing Video
Red Bull and U.S. Freestyle skier Simon Dumont pretty much chopped up Squaw Valley's half-pipe. They used lasers, angles, machinery and a touch of crazy to do so....

Hockey Player Misses Five Minutes Of Game Time With Broken Face, Returns In Time For Season-Losing Goal
Your morning roundup for May 29, the day after death told the world that the puffy-faced Grandma Bandit was actually a man....

This Memorial Day Weekend, Don't Forget To Prepare For The Penis Inspector
As far as we know, this isn't real. Carlmont High (Calif.) students don't have to "ensure that their penises are clean and orderly," nor do they have to procure a friend's pubes if they have trimmed their own. It's a senior prank, and a well-executed one at that....

At Least One Bounce Went Right For Kim Clijsters In Her Second-Round Exit
Kim Clijsters, seeded No. 2 in the French Open, lost to Arantxa Rus (real name) in the second round yesterday. She fell 3-6, 7-5, 6-1 to the 114th-ranked player in the world. But it wasn't all bad! Clijsters also had one of the most fantastical bounces we've ever seen in tennis. This is the kind o...

Joakim Noah Taps Into America's Rage By Calling The Heat "Hollywood As Hell"
Joakim Noah, who sat on the bench for much of the second half as Kurt Thomas tried to be the hero, pulled off the delicate skill of framing an absolute dis within a compliment last night. Kenny, Chuck, and Ernie are almost always this tickled with the world, but with this giggly reaction I get the...

Look, Someone Asked Tim Hardaway About Joakim Noah's Potty Mouth
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Hardaway minces words....

47 Of Maria Sharapova's Grunts In Her Second-Round French Open Win
Maria Sharapova faced Caroline Garcia, a 17-year-old French up-and-comer, in the second round of the French Open today. Garcia took the first set and led 4-1 until midway through the second, when Sharapova took 11 straight games to win, 3-6, 6-4, 6-0. Sharapova's known for her grunting, of course;...

Le Mans Driver Makes Convincing Case That What He Does Is Athletic
Co.Design takes a look at the Audi commercial featuring Scottish driver Allan McNish, who explains the toll the 24 hour Le Mans race — which is the "equivalent of an entire Formula One season — takes on his body. Woozy motion graphics ahead. [Co.Design]...

The Kim Kardashian Effect: Advanced Stats Show Why Kris Humphries Put A Ring On It
Nets forward Kris Humphries put up great numbers in the seventh season of his NBA career, his first as Kim Kardashian's beau. The couple announced their engagement (with a disturbing description of an "intimate family celebration" involving horses), and while there are no shortage of possible motive...

David Beckham Secures A Post-Soccer Future In Field Security With This Fan Takedown
English soccer clubs sometimes play "testimonials," in which they bring back their older stars for a friendly match of former rivals. Like parades or bowling parties, it's a nice way to make the old folk feel appreciated for still being around. Yesterday, with Man United playing Juventus in the Ga...

All The Unkind Things Bill Simmons Said About His Colleagues In The ESPN Book
One of the most interesting characters to emerge from the ESPN book is the formerly inscrutable Bill Simmons, if only because we've never heard him be so (openly) self-aware before. He again whips out the big swinging dick in some more excerpts....

Here's Tim Thomas With The Best Save Of The Playoffs
That endorsement from hockey minds across Twitter tonight. Steve Downie, in a one-goal game, would probably agree....

A Rigorous Taxonomy And Analysis Of Lucky Charms From The 2011 NBA Draft Lottery
The darling of the NBA draft lottery last week was a sickly imp in a bowtie. The year before that it was a sorrowful widow in pearls. How did this come to pass? You can thank superstition (although not me for bringing you this post a week late). Sadly, too many NBA teams and executives still ignore ...

The Ryan Giggs Affair Reaches An Apotheosis Of Stupidity
Remember how everybody knows Ryan Giggs had an affair with Imogen Thomas, but they couldn't say it because of the dreaded Super Injunction? So, yeah, that Super Injunction is still in place today, but that isn't stopping every single English newspaper from sticking his name and mug all over their ...