im Page 743 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
We Are All Dave McKenna XCVII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is slipped the cyanide pill....
Here's Video Of LeBron James And Delonte West Sharing A Brief But Loving Embrace Last Night
Your morning roundup for May 12, the day old coot Yogi Berra will come up with something witty to say about turning 82, even though he's only 81....
Here’s An Update About The Video Of Some White Parking-Lot Rage That Left A Guy Hospitalized
Earlier today, Philadelphia police announced they'd arrested two of the four imbeciles who beat someone unconscious and face-bashed near a bunch of clubs that tend to attract gorilla juiceheads willing to beat people unconscious and face-bashed in parking lots....
Jay Mariotti Charged With Felony Stalking And Assaulting His Ex-Girlfriend Again, Faces Five Years In Prison
According to a press release issued by the Los Angeles County District Attorney's Office, former ESPN commentator Jay Mariotti pleaded not guilty today to allegations of stalking and assaulting the former girlfriend he was convicted of assaulting last year. Here's the release in its entirety:...
Suspects In Attack On Giants Fan To Go Up On 300 LA Billboards
Starting tomorrow, sketches of these two men will appear on billboards around Los Angeles. They are wanted in connection with the beating of Bryan Stow in the parking lot after a Giants game. Stow "is basically gone," his mother said this week....
Albert Pujols Hugs Jim Hendry: A Photoplay In 10 Parts
Free agent-to-be Albert Pujols and Cubs GM Jim Hendry hugged yesterday and chatted amiably behind a batting cage. This is now, officially, a Thing. How did it become a Thing? Let's watch:...
It Was Wrestling Mask Night In Anaheim
Your morning roundup for May 11, the day the pre-prom body cavity searches were called off....
It Took Rescuers Two Hours To Dig An Olympic Swimmer Out Of This Sand Hole
Austrian Olympic swimmer Jakub Maly lives and trains in Pompano Beach, Fla., and yesterday was his day off. So he spent the afternoon digging a hole in the beach 7 feet deep and 6 feet across. Naturally, he jumped in, and naturally, it collapsed around him, leaving only his head unburied....
There's A Bear In Trey Wingo's Backyard
We now return you to your regularly scheduled non-bear news. [Twitter]...
Jim Tressel At Last Reaps The Whirlwind: A Five-Day Compliance Seminar In June In Tampa
That's part of his punishment for not snitching on his players, the AP reports. Five-day compliance seminar in June in Tampa. What a brutal phrase. It's hard to say what the worst part is. "Five-day"? "June in Tampa"? "Compliance seminar"? In terms of coiled, compressed misery, "five-day compliance ...
An Update On Telling You Which Soccer Player Had An Affair With This Lady
We felt very bad last time. We hate blind items (though we did guess Ryan Giggs). But there's this thing in the UK where celebrities can get court-ordered injunctions against newspapers publishing items about their personal lives. They're called injunctions, and lots of celebrities have them, and to...
The <em>New York Times</em> Pushes Up Its Glasses, Issues Nerdiest Correction Ever
I'll just let the Times explain:...
The Pacquiao/Mosley Fight Ended Up Being NASCAR's Undercard Last Night
Your morning roundup for May 8, the day we watched the world's terroristic boogeyman watching himself and channel surfing like an Ritalin-addled preteen whose parents won't spring for a DVR....
Here's Video Of Some White Parking-Lot Rage That Left A Guy Hospitalized
Yesterday, police in Philadelphia released video from last weekend that shows four imbeciles beating someone unconscious and face-bashed near a bunch of clubs that tend to attract gorilla juiceheads willing to beat people unconscious and face-bashed in parking lots....
Figure Skating Is Much More Tolerable When Routines Are Super Mario-Themed
Here's Tatiana Volosozhar and partner Maxim Trankov doing their graceful skating thing at the 2011 World Championships in Moscow earlier in the week. No Beethoven. No Handel. No terrible 70s ballads. Just Mario....
Biz Markie; And Other Things That Happen In Eight-Hour Baseball Games
There's a special kind of masochism that comes with staying up to watch a marathon baseball game, like last night's Angels/Red Sox tilt that didn't wrap up until 2:45 am. You know you're going to feel like shit in the morning, and you can only pray your team wins so it wasn't all for naught....
Presenting The 18-Minute Video Of Shin-Soo Choo's Failed Roadside Sobriety Test
Your morning roundup for May 5, the day a former vice president wants you to thank "enhanced interrogation" for the current president's visit to Ground Zero....
Here's The Story Of A Man In Bra And Panties Who Killed A Pygmy Goat While Tweaking On Bath Salts
Lisa Powers of Charleston, WV bought her 4-year-old grandson a pygmy goat on Friday. They named it Bailey, after a Disney Channel show's character. Here's what Grandmother Powers had to say about what happened to Bailey by 3:15 a.m. Monday. The "he" in the quote is neighbor Mark Thompson....
This Flying Kick Got A Kazakh Soccer Player Banned For Life
This footage, taken during a post-game brawl on April 16 this year, has just turned up. It shows Kairat's Armand Masimzhanov delivering a brutal flying kick to a Lokomotiv player at the end of their match. Masimzhanov was banned for life from the Kazakhstan Football Federation for "terrible cruelt...
Danny Ainge Is Horrified By What He Sees
Your morning roundup for May 4, the day we again discovered Xanadu in Jersey....