im Page 770 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Look At These Fucking Hoopsters: "Bo Outlaw" And "Glenn Robinson" Hit Up A Harvard Party
An occasional feature in which we spotlight the ridiculous trend of recontextualized basketball jerseys. Today: Bo Outlaw and Glenn Robinson....

Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart Busted For Stealing Pills
Neidhart was charged with possession and burglary after breaking into a neighbor's home to steal her Oxycontin and methadone. We hope he's retained The Mouth Of The South as his lawyer. [Tampa Tribune]...

Rugby Guy, Swimmy Girl Engage in Gay Fight
Now, some news from Down Under... ...

Comedian Robert Schimmel Ponders the Kobe "Rape," Rips Total Gym Roid Freaks and Dies
In particular order ......

The Camera Will Always Love Joakim Noah
We get so many of these photos that I begin to wonder if Joakim Noah will ever enjoy an undocumented moment in public or at his local head shop. At least he seems to relish these encounters. I mean, look....

This Goalie Has Just The Most Adorable Mask
KHL goalie Vasiliy Koshechkin has a fearsome kitty cat painted on his mask. Its name is Cерьiй, and it is "very bored from being on the side of his head all the time." I can haz intimidation? [Hot Ice via Puck Daddy]...

My Name Is Hurricane Earl
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Watch George Plimpton And Billy Martin Awkwardly Pimp Old Video Games
Intellivision came out in 1979 as a competitor to the Atari 2600. Within a few years, Intellivision had its own baseball game with its own celebrity pitchman, forcing Atari to respond in kind. Thus, the George Plimpton-Billy Martin rivalry was born....

The Boring Bag! Your Temporary Fun Bag Replacement
While the Funbag is away, we still play, albeit dully. Time for The Boring Bag!...

Stories That Don't Suck: College Football's Greatest Game And Its Greatest Story
From time to time, we'll select stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that we urge you to read for one reason or another. Today: Dan Jenkins on the 1971 Nebraska-Oklahoma "Game of the Century."...

Melo, D-Wade, Cubes and Nolan Ryan All Sued By Crazy Prisoner
Jonathan Lee Riches, in prison for wire fraud, spends all his time filing lawsuits against public figures. This week sees a new one, involving a number of prominent sports stars, and it is a doozy....

Joakim Noah Plays Golf With Pizzazz
Oh, Joakim Noah. Whether you're buying a pipe to smoke tobacco or hanging at Lollapalooza, your off-the-court activities are wonderful. Let's hear some good captions, people. Photo via Sportress of Blogitude...

Derek Dooley Hints Matt Simms Might Be The Starter
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Tennessee head football coach Derek Dooley....

Let's All Giggle Immaturely At These Fellows' Names
Headline of the young month: "Butts Arrested In Boob Murder Case."...

Look At This Fucking Hoopster: "Earl Watson" Shopping For Organic Produce
An occasional feature in which we spotlight the ridiculous trend of recontextualized basketball jerseys. Today: Earl Watson. Earl. Watson....

Remembering Those Halcyon Days Of The U.S. Open When Tennis Players Could Freely Call An Umpire An "Abortion," Twice
"You are an abortion," Jimmy Connors says to a U.S. Open umpire in the video above, along about the 3:30 mark. "You are an abortion, do you know that?" The umpire nods gravely, almost as if to say, hmm, yes, it's possible....

Underwear-Clad Man In Brutal Wiffle Bat Beatdown
Donald Fehr (not that one) "was severely beaten with a plastic Wiffle bat when he refused to put on clothes." I mean, that's the risk you run. [AP]...

Introducing Your Temporary Funbag Replacement: The Boring Bag
Drew's on vacation, but it's Tuesday and we need a mailbag. So instead of a Funbag, how about a Boring Bag? Today's topics: sidewalks, yawn-inducing numbers, a fish that is fast, and so much more....

Early Winner For Deserved Maiming Of The Year Award
A high school student is suing his teacher and the city after he nearly electrocuted himself after hooking his nipples up to electrical clamps in shop class. Also, D batteries are not butt plugs. [AP]...

Cut Loose: A Montage Of Movie Dancing
Sure this video starts off as a montage of people opening and closing doors, but by the time it's over, you've seen one of the better tributes to cinematic two-stepping. Enjoy. [Kottke, via Skeets]...