im Page 773 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Whitney Cummings Makes That Pamela Anderson-Magic Johnson HIV Joke You've Been Waiting For
During the Comedy Central Roast of David Hasselhoff, comedienne Whitney Cummings took a shot at Pamela Anderson's penchant for sleeping with rock stars, imploring the former V.I.P. star to "drink a vat of Magic Johnson's blood"— because HIV/AIDS is hilllllllarious....

Former Aspiring Olympian Files Sex-Abuse Suit Against US Swimming, Coach
The USA Swimming sex scandal deepens, what with former Olympic hopeful Jancy Thompson talking to ABC News about filing a sexual-misconduct lawsuit. It includes accusations of being forced to wear a dog collar....

Dead Wrestler's Society Accepts New Member
Lance McNaught, aka former WWE wrestler Lance Cade or Garrison Cade, died Friday morning in San Antonio. He'd apparently been taken to the hospital for trouble breathing on Tuesday but asked to be released Wednesday....

Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Chris Kaman
Welcome to Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater, the feature where we examine the fan-made video love letters to their favorite athletes and the baffling music choices that are added in post-production. Today's lucky subject: Los Angeles Clipper Chris Kaman....

Bill Simmons Writes About Holdouts, Works Through Some Of His Own Issues
Today, Simmons wrote about the nature of contract disputes. Ostensibly it's about pro athletes holding out. But somewhere, deep in the Sports Guy's Sports Psyche, it very well may have been about him....

Look At These Fucking Hoopsters: Grab Bag
Welcome back to Look At This Fucking Hoopster. I think this latest batch should slake your thirst for the indie bros you love to mock so much. Part One | Part Two | Part Three...

320-Lb. White Men Can't Jump
Ravens OT Joe Reitz did the honors last night for a TD celebration goalpost dunk. Or, he tried. Which is sad considering he's played more years of high level basketball than football in his life....

Last Night's Winner: Jim Gray, Sports Zelig
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Jim Gray, ubiquitous microphone toady, unlikely power broker, and apparently also something of a dick....

200 Beer Bottles Opened In 80 Seconds? Believe It
In the pantheon of useless talents, this rates somewhere between reciting Pi to the hundredth digit and throwing a knuckleball. I'd be more impressed if he had kept even one beer from overflowing with head....

Tim Tebow's Hyperbaric Chamber Lets Him Use Oxygen Better Than You, Too
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Austin Croshere
Welcome back to Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater. Today's laughably out-of-place subject? Bill Walton absolutely loved saying his name: Austin Croshere. The song: "Bad Lands," by rappers Zion I & The Grouch....

Furry Tries To Legally Change His Name To "Boomer The Dog"
Gary Guy Mathews. A perfectly good name. But Mr. Mathews wants to officially be known as Boomer the Dog, to go along with his homemade fursuit....

Look At These Fucking Hoopsters At Lollapalooza: Part Two
Welcome to the second edition of the Hoopsters of Lollapalooza 2010. There's been some debate over whether of not some of the entrants are real "hipsters" or merely "bros." Why though? This is a forum for ridicule, not ontological precision. Onto the pictures! Part One | Part Two | Part Three...

Hot Piece Of Ass Who Quit Job Was Probably A Stunt
Today, all The Internet wanted to talk about was Jet Blue Guy's zany escape from employment—or the press's red-faced descriptions of how the police found him—and all of a sudden Dry Erase Board Girl came out of nowhere. She's fake....

Introducing The Dancing Man Of Wrigleyville
Wrigleyville, the neighborhood around Wrigley Field, has long been known for its "scene." Want to meet the future ex-Mrs. Malcolm? That's the place to go. Well, Wrigleyville has a new sight attracting the hordes: this dancing guy....

Hero Monkey Saves Puppy From Fire In China (UPDATE: Hoax?)
A pipeline explosion in Nanjing has claimed the lives of 13 and injured hundreds. But the bright news comes in the form of this monkey who was photographed running away from the flames carrying this puppy to relative safety. [Now Public]...

What In God's Name Is Tim Duncan Doing To That Whale?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

How Jim McMahon Terrorized New Orleans During Super Bowl XX
Today's selection comes from Michael Weinreb's book, Bigger Than The Game: Bo, Boz, the Punky QB, and How the '80s Created the Modern Athlete. This excerpt offers a glimpse into the aforementioned punkyness of the Bears' eccentric QB....

To Dan Marino, Jerry Rice Gives A Double F-U
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Time for Quote of the Day Nominations
"Shooting 18-over par is not fun," Tiger Woods who, on Sunday, finished with the highest 72-hole score - 298 - of any PGA Tour event he ever played, even as an amateur. [AP]...