im Page 783 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Simona Halep Loses The Boobs, Loses
Simona Halep did indeed show up to the French Open significantly less top-heavy than she was a year ago, but she still lost in the first round. Hey, you don't just bounce back from something like that. [Mirror/Daily Mail]...
Is Zach Randolph Indiana's Drug Kingpin?
"According to a probable cause affidavit, a trusted police informant identified Memphis Grizzlie player Zach Randolph as a major marijuana supplier in Indianapolis." Well, that's not so shocking. Oh, you meant supplying to people other than Zach Randolph?...
Some 24-Year-Old Guy Is Getting Mike Brown's Calls
Note to various NBA personnel directors and well-wishers: You know why Mike Brown isn't returning your phone calls? A guy named Rajesh Kumar....
Tampa Bay Ray Falls Prey To Actual Stingray
Sean Rodriguez was stung in the surf off of St. Pete Monday. Geez, lose the first two to Boston, and already the ocean is rebelling. Or maybe the Ray was just another Northeast transplant. [St. Petersburg Times]...
Target Field Squirrel Delays Game, Attacks Infielder
The Twins game was stopped in the fourth inning, as an errant squirrel made his way to the field. Brendan Harris nearly met his death, with nasty, big, pointy teeth....
After Seeing This Promo Pitch, Who Wouldn't Want To Go On A Cruise With Rick Dempsey?
Walkoff Walk discovered this gem of a YouTube video where one cadence-challenged pitchman tries to sell this Rick Dempsey (himself!) luxury cruise. You will. Talk like. This. All day. [WalkoffWalk]...
Here's An Indonesian Toddler Who Smokes 40 Cigs Per Day
Exasperated mum says: "He's totally addicted. If he doesn't get cigarettes, he gets angry and screams and batters his head against the wall. He tells me he feels dizzy and sick." Do they have 3-1-1 in Musi Banyuasin? [TheSun]...
The New Tim Lincecum Cartoon Will Give You A Contact High
Another day, another baffling sports figure TV show appearance. Today we have the inaugural episode of Timmy & Bus, a cartoon that is for children in the way that all unicorn-vehicular-manslaughter cartoons are for children. [Tauntr]...
Erin Andrews Has Made It After All
It wasn't that long ago that everyone wondered how Erin Andrews could ever recover from her humiliating and scary stalker episode. Now she's rolling around in lingerie and letting people rave about her ass. Looks like she made it....
Fat-Ass Baseball Players Get Their Roger Bannister Moment
Per Wezen-Ball's wonderful Tater Trot Tracker, David Ortiz rounded the bases after yesterday's solo shot in 30.59 seconds, a new record by nearly eight-tenths of a second. Yes, mankind has at last shattered the 30-second barrier. [Wezen-Ball]...
Watch Randy Foye's Mystifying Canadian TV Debut
Washington Wizard Randy Foye performed some small screen magic by appearing in an episode of the Canadian TV show Wingin' It. What Randy Foye has to do with Canadian tweens and angels is beyond me. And probably Randy Foye, too. [via FreeDarko]...
A Dog Bit Through This Ultimate Fighter's Penis
Kyacey Uscola was eliminated from The Ultimate Fighter last week. It was the high point of his week, as he soon received an unplanned second urethra opening from an ornery pit bull....
Tebow Overkill Now In A Handy Central Location
ESPN has launched their Tebow Tracker, designed to give you all the Tebow news in the world of Tebow. Tebow Tebow Tebow. I thought such a thing already existed, and it was called THE ENTIRE SPORTS MEDIA. [ESPN.com]...
Jose Lima, Dead At 37
Breaking news says Jose Lima died this morning of a heart attack at his home in Los Angeles. Since his last MLB season in 2006, he had made stops in Korea, Long Beach and Edmonton.[ESPN Deportes]...
Juan Rivera Goes 1-For-4, Falls Into Temporal Wormhole
Here's a mind-melting Juan Rivera infinite regress from Tuesday's Angels-Rangers game. [Screengrab via reader Josh; video at MLB.com]...
Basebrawl Season Is In Full Swing
Thursday's Angels-White Sox game at U.S. Cellular Field featured two things you often see on the South Side these days: a White Sox loss, and a bunch of White Sox fans beating the shit out of each other. H/T BullFightsOnAcid...
Montauk Monster Has Hideous, Equally Baffling Canadian Cousin
A mysterious animal has washed up in a reservoir near the Kitchenuhmaykoosib Band reserve in northern Ontario, but no one can decide exactly what it is. Sound familiar?...
Bullfight Goes Horribly Right, For Bull: Parte Dos (Video)
You saw the picture, now see the video of Julio Aparicio's painful-even-to-describe goring. Shot in the "back-and-to-the-left"-style of the early '90s, this video is equally as excruciating to sit through....
Bullfight Goes Horribly Right, For Bull
Reader Dave sends along this picture of renowned matador Julio Aparicio. Yes, that bull's horn is doing exactly what it looks like it's doing....