im Page 785 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Penis-Curious News Anchor Responds
Michael HIll, news anchor for New Orleans's ABC affiliate and a man with a penchant for wonderfully awkward questions, has seen our post and writes in to say he does indeed know from banter. E-mail after the jump....
Bill Self To Dance, Dance, Dance The Night Away For Charity
The Hoops Doctors uncovered this video of a leisure-suited Bill Self promoting an upcoming charity event, to be held in Kansas City....
Ex-Giant Brad Benson Is Greatest Ad Wizard Since Don Draper
Like many former athletes, New York Giant alumnus Brad Benson found a second career as a successful car dealer. Unlike most of them, however, he's made another name for himself as a filthy-minded, possibly unhinged radio pitchman....
Man Saves Beached Whale While Golfing, Avoids Obvious <i>Seinfeld</i> Quotes (UPDATE)
A golfer at Lighthouse Sound Golf Course in Maryland briefly interrupted his round to jump into the ocean and save a whale that was stranded. Unfortunately, that's a two-stroke penalty. (Sad update: The whale didn't survive.) [Independent Press]...
Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians: Will Leitch Edition
The floppy-haired hero from the hardscrabble streets of Mattoon, Ill. received a king's welcome at Busch Stadium and got the old pre-game treatment from the local Fox affiliate.For some reason he chose to wear Annie Leibovitz's eyeglasses....
Free Nohjay Nimpson!
We're down to the Elite Eight in the always-excellent Name Of The Year tournament. So go cast your vote to ensure that Nohjay Nimpson and God's Power Offor continue on. [NOTY]...
News Anchor Asks, "So She's Enjoying Penis A Little Bit More?"
At the end of a segment on a "the G-shot", ABC 26 anchor Michael Hill asked reporter Catherine Shreves a question that made it quite apparent he has no idea how banter works. Video after the jump....
Headlines That Get Funnier After Midnight: "Tiger Penis Found At Auckland Airport"
Not a surprise, really ... but how does that explain the neck problem? [Stuff.co.nz]...
Arkansas School For The Deaf's Team Nickname? The Leopards, Of Course
Why isn't it spelled "Leppard?" Other names considered by the ASFTD: "Jam," "Dumb and Blind," "Tones," "Arkansas School For The Deaf, Mos" [ASFTD]...
Tim Donaghy's Bad Beat Of The Week: An Ice-Bucket Night In Miami
A weekly feature in which Tim Donaghy, the former NBA referee who spent 11 months in prison for relaying inside information to gamblers, tells us a sad gambling story. The standard caveats apply....
Sixteen-Year-Old High School Basketball Star Is Actually 22-Year-Old Liar
Jerry Joseph was simply living the American dream—lying about his age so that he could go back to high school and relive his glory days as the big man on campus. Didn't Bob Dylan sing about this?...
Lebron Undergoes Elbow Surgery
Sure, it's an Orioles minor league pitcher named Luis Lebron. But still, could you imagine? (Did you folks forget this little gem?) [Balt Sun]...
This Sioux City Promotional Video Is So Awful, You'll Want To Move There Ironically
By gathering notable townsfolk for this Up With People-esque extravaganza (and by not paying any attention to Starship's lyrics), Sioux City's promo video has now supplanted Cleveland's as the most unintentionally hilarious instance of civic self-love. H/T @edsbs....
Drew Rosenhaus Breaking Flaming Bricks Is A Metaphor For His Negotiating Skills ... Or Something
Turns out Drew Rosenhaus, noted driveway-press-conference hobbyist, also enjoys training in the martial arts when he isn't forcing your favorite team to give an extra year and $3 million dollar roster bonus to Olindo Mare. [Tauntr]...
Associated Press To Punish Brian Cushing For Making Its Voters Look Bad
The AP wants to reclaim Brian Cushing's Defensive Rookie of the Year Award, because giving prizes to drug cheats makes them look foolish. Almost as foolish as calling takebacks on meaningless post-season awards....
Royals Set Dangerous Cash-For-Errors Precedent
Catching a pop-up one-handed, at shoulder level, looks really cool. As long as you make the catch. Yuniesky Betancourt didn't make the catch, and he was fined for it. This is KC's solution, instead of teaching him the right way....
Fake Yo-Yo Trickster Fools Every TV Station Everywhere
A strange, strange man has been showing up on morning shows throughout the Midwest, claiming to be a yo-yo trick champion. He is not. He is actually terrible at yo-yo. Yet he keeps getting on the air....
Erin Andrews: "Darrin's Dance Grooves" Superstar
Ten years ago, Darrin Henson was the Tom Emanski of instructional dance videos. He had one enthusiastic pupil, though. Yes, at the :45 mark, the future Sideline Princess was doing her best hard-sell on one of the lamest infomercial videos ever....
Benny The Bull Goes On <em>Jerry Springer</em>, Fights Rival Bull Over Woman
For some reason, Benny the Bull, he of the reckless high-fives and sheriff punches, went on Springer recently and learned that his woman-friend was stepping out on him with another mascot. Metaphors and interpretations welcome below. [Pippen Ain't Easy]...
Attack Of The Customized Jerseys Starts Off With A...Bang
Now that baseball season feels officially official, the customized jerseys are becoming more plentiful. If you see one on par with Captain Fingerbang up there, please send it to [email protected]. Subject: Customized Jersey. (H/T A.Heacock)...