im Page 802 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Dear Deadspin Commenters: You Are The Reason The <em>Chicago Sun-Times</em> Is Full Of Racist Morons (UPDATE)
Commenters, prepare to be amused. A Sun-Times web editor named Matthew Wood chastised some of his newspaper's online community for nasty, racist remarks and has blamed this phenomenon on...Deadspin. Read on....

Bizarre Recruiting Hoax Fools None, Confuses All
A sad young man is accused of recruiting high school football players for East Carolina—a school he has no affiliation with and that has never heard of him. What could have been the point of this not-so-master plan?...

Happy Yulemas From The Pasty Basketball Elves
The Basketball Jones would like wish you a Merry Christmas (none of that Happy Holidays nonsense!) via everyone's favorite musical medium—NBA-themed caroling. Nothing says "jolly" like a Dirk Nowitzki dirge....

Fox Robot Makes Perfect Stocking Stuffer For People You Hate
Someone is actually selling 10" action figures of Cleatus, the audience-enraging Fox football robot. Unless it's a voodoo doll I can stuff with dynamite to put us all out of our misery, I'm not interested. [Foamheads]...

Desperate Fan Just Wants To Win Something So He's Asking For Your Help
From an emailer: "There's a $50 gift certificate prize on a blog I frequent for identifying this guy and I want to win...only I have no idea who this dude is. I'm counting on you deadspin...don't let me down." Go....

AP Anoints Fella Who Drives Fast And In Circles
Say hello to Jimmie Johnson, your AP Male Athlete of the Year. He's the first race-car driver to win the award. "I'm pretty sure that dude's Superman," Mark Martin said of Johnson. I'm pretty sure he's not. [AP]...

Arm Wrestling — To The Max!!!
As the runaway success of Chess boxing proved, any sport can be improved by adding ass-kicking to the mix. Imagine arm wrestling, where the rest of your body is free to wail on your opponent. America's got a new pastime....

Which Former NBA Star Had An Affair With Some Guy Malcolm Gladwell Met At A Party?
And no, it is not the guy in the picture, I am fairly certain. But the beauty of Malcolm Gladwell is, I now know who Adonal Foyle is!...

Teen Guilty of "Horsing Around!" (Also Probably Seriously Mentally Ill)
Wacky sporting news for you crazy kids! "Goshen teen charged with having sex with horses."...

Bears Grounded in Chicago
The Chicago Bears are unable to make it to Baltimore, because of the massive terrible snowstorm that literally everyone in the mid-Atlantic area is being a tremendous baby about....

South Florida Player Speaks, Takes Coach's Side
Joel Miller, the USF walk on who coach Jim Leavitt is accused of striking, has finally given his own take on the story. He's defending Leavitt—just like his brother said he had no other choice but to do....

Some Things Are More Important Than Football, But Not In Alabama
Yesterday, we told you about the Alabama lawyers (pictured?) who asked a judge to postpone their case so they can attend the BCS Championship Game. Well, the judge—an Auburn fan!—granted their request. It's a travesty of good sportsmanship....

Vinny Cerrato Gets In One Last Zinger On His Way Out The Door
This morning's winner is apparently the Redskins fans who have finally managed to chase away one half of the dynamic duo that's ruining their lives. Of course, the Joker killed Robin and that didn't stop Batman from kicking his ass....

Metrodome Bathroom Swallows Another Victim
The Metrodome will not let the Twins escape easily, even if it has to trap former Rookies of the Year inside its porcelain bowels for all eternity....

Alabama Fans Hope To Shut Down State For One Week In January
You're probably aware that the University of Alabama has canceled any classes that might possibly interfere with students' drinkingenjoyment of the BCS Championship, but now some lawyers have asked a judge to shut down the state's legal system as well....

The Toughest Fantasy Football Defeat Of All
Fidelity Investments recently fired four employees for organizing fantasy football leagues, because investment bankers have very strict rules about only gambling with other people's money. [Star-Telegram, via Yahoo; photo via]...

South Florida Player's Brother: "Jim Leavitt Is Not A Very Nice Man"
The South Florida Slapping Saga has taken another confusing family turn as the brother of the walk-on allegedly hit by coach Jim Leavitt has stepped into the fray to defend his sibling and confirm what his father hastily denied yesterday....

A Golf Porn Lawsuit That Has Nothing To Do With Who You Think
There are many ways of getting yourself banned from exclusive country clubs. Being poor or a minority are probably the most common, but letting them film a golf-themed porno there is probably the most exciting....

Dad Now Says South Florida Coach Didn't Slap His Kid After All
Leavitt, who seemed to duck the issue when questioned about it by Fanhouse, has since vehemently denied the allegation that he struck sophomore Joel Miller during a halftime rant this season. Fanhouse claimed that five witness confirmed the incident, in addition to Miller's father, who gave one of t...

Tiger's Latest Mistress: A Doping Scandal
Because Tiger Woods doesn't have enough problems right now, being embroiled in a drug investigation should liven things up a bit. At least he should be used to the innuendo, speculation, and snickering taunts by now....