im Page 809 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Cornell Business School: Home Of All Sorts Of Savory Juices
Yes, this has nothing to do with sports whatsoever. This is just completely embarrassing and awful and you won't be able to stop reading it: You're my hero!!!! My knight in shining armor!!! My private porn star!!!!! [GuestOfAGuest via Gawker]...

The One Where The Spirited Phillies Fan Leaves Us A Phone Message
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another...

Searching For..."I LIV 4 THIS" Woman
Really. Thanks to one reader's wife who became Facebook friends with this happy "e"-less female Yankee fan last night, she's actually been found and identified. America, meet Amy W. AKA "I LIV 4 THIS" woman....

Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Blessing The Child Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....

Tim Lincecum Cited In Least Surprising Pot Bust Ever
Raise your hand if you didn't see this one coming. Was it the shaggy hair? The vacant smile? Or the 3.3 grams of marijuana found in the reigning Cy Young Award winner's Mercedes? [The Columbian]...

Sports-O-Ween III: Season Of The Itchy Sweatpants
You people just will not let this go, will you? Just moments after I put up the last gallery of unfortunate costume horrors, my inbox was flooded with still more masquerade submissions. Seriously, folks, this is becoming a sickness....

Searching For...Whoever The Hell This Lady Is
Deadspin's deadbeat ballplayer detective service has prompted more readers to reach out to us with more people-finding missions. The latest request is a little more complicated because it's, well, oh, just read the email......

Deleted Scenes From The Sports Guy Book Tour
Bill Simmons' book tour continues apace (NY Times #1 bestseller!) and we also continue to get dispatches from fans of overweight literature. Enjoy these tales of long lines, blurry photographs, and some guy who likes autographed meat....

Searching For Enrique Wilson: Also In The Dominican Republic
You've gone an outdone yourselves again, sleuthers. Deadbeat Enrique Wilson has been located by multiple readers playing for the Toros Del Este in the Dominican Winter League....

Isiah Thomas Continues His Formula For Success
Florida International begins its march to the upper echelon of D-I basketball by playing its first exhibition game under their new head coach....and losing to an NAIA school coached by Rollie Massimino. Exactly as planned. [AP/SB/RTC]...

The Sports-O-Ween That Wouldn't Die
Halloween is long gone, but people still keep submitting their terribly lame and occasionally offensive sports costumes so that we can post them on this site and embarrass their loved ones. Who are we to deny them their infamy?...

Rick Reilly® Has Annoyed A New Constituency: Pizza Delivery People
Reilly® tossed off this little item the other day about Hawaii's quarterback, Bryant Moniz, who moonlights as a pizza delivery guy. Bad jokes ensued ("Hawaii fans go pie-eyed ..."), amusing precisely no one. Least of all other pizza delivery guys....

Cheap Shots? That's Just The Way Georgia and Florida Play Football
There's been a lot of debate about Brandon Spikes' cat scratch fever on Washaun Ealey, but there's one point on which everyone seems to agree. Both Georgia and Florida play extremely dirty football and that's the way they like it....

Searching For...Enrique Wilson
Since our fine, upstanding readership was so helpful in tracking down Jose Lima for his ex-wife, Melissa, another ex-lover of a ballplayer requests your assistance. Yes, deadbeat wranglers, you've been deputized again. Please help Ms. Marina Valdez....

Spirited Phillies Fan Still Confused By How Internet Works
This Angry Woman is lashing out at you monsters for your "disgusting display of immature rudeness" and something-something-something about her YouTube video which she removed. Visit her in the comments section at your own risk. [Deadspin]...

Oh Dear God My Eyes And Ears
I'm withholding comment on this video of one really, really supportive Phillies fan. You don't have to withhold yours....

And Your FAILgate Winner Is...
The video you're wincing at right now was ganked by those fine folks for their brilliant "Most Offensive You Tube Video" idea. I implore you to watch the whole thing because right at the end, Tim Floyd comes into frame to calmly break up the mosh pit....

When Ladies Start Throwing Chairs In A Casino Cafeteria, It's Time To Call Tim Floyd
Luckily, before this devolved into some serious Latina ultra-violence, disgraced former USC basketball coach Tim Floyd was there to calmly intervene. Brain go boom. [HermsPerm]...

Fear Of A Blackface Planet: Cowboys Cheerleader, Meet Deron Williams
Yes, poor Whitney Isleib is getting some mixed reviews after she decided to shoe polish her face in order to authenticate her Lil' Wayne costume, but there is decidedly less uproar over Deron Williams' terrifying Cal Ripken costume....

Sports Fella Just Threw Up In His Mouth
[Twitter, via Jon Greenberg of Team Marketing Report]...