in Page 1652 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Wizards Wish To Make It Known They Have No Interest In Hiring A Competent General Manager
The woebegone Washington Wizards fired longtime president of basketball operations and architect of 15 years of fan frustration Ernie Grunfeld back on April 2, one week before the end of their rotten 2018–19 season. Firing a front office honcho before the end of the season would usually give a team ...
There's No Good Reason To Believe What The Golden State Warriors' Doctors Say
Before he took to the court last Monday night, every piece of publicly available information suggested that Kevin Durant wasn’t ready to start a professional basketball game, let alone play in the NBA Finals, after suffering what his team, the Golden State Warriors, called a calf injury. For four we...
Let's Remember Some Guys: American Gladiators Beyond Thunderdome
How smart do you want your sports to be, really? Not the athletes involved, who will invariably have the kind of fast and opportunistic and almost automatic intelligence that athletes display in the moment, but the sport itself. Do you want it to be complex and governed by arcane rules, or just so s...
I Can’t Tell Who The Fuck Is Joking Anymore
Today, we’re talking about airport eating, shower clogs, germophobes, and more....
Copa América Has Been A Horrible Mess So Far
We’re through the first round of group stage games in the 2019 Copa América, and there’s really only one thing we know for sure: this tournament is total ass. The first six matches have been plagued by blowouts, VAR nonsense, and all the usual CONMEBOL-flavored bullshit. This isn’t a bug, but rather...
Dominican Republic Officials Identify Man Who Allegedly Paid For Hit On David Ortiz
Prosecutors in the Dominican Republic identified several new suspects yesterday in the David Ortiz shooting case, including the man they say planned to pay the hitmen who shot Ortiz at the Dial Bar and Lounge on June 9. Court documents obtained by the Boston Globe claim Alberto Miguel Rodríguez Mota...
QBs Are Getting More Expensive. Here's How NFL Teams Can Pay Them And Still Win.
Quarterback is the one NFL position that has seen consistent, top-of-the-market contract growth in recent years. This offseason, Russell Wilson and Ben Roethlisberger pushed that to new heights, with respective deals from the Seahawks and Steelers that average $35 million and $34 million in annual v...
The Euro 2020 Mascot Is Just A Creepy Human Man
Creating a mascot for your international sporting event can be fraught with peril. Izzy, originally Whatizit, was the mascot of the 1996 Olympics and is still mocked today. London’s mascots for the 2012 Olympics and Paralympics were simply amorphous blobs. The 2006 World Cup, held in Germany, had a ...
This Is Not The Best Way To Try And Catch A Home-Run Ball
Every baseball fan who buys tickets in the outfield dreams of exactly one thing: catching a home run ball hit by Seattle Mariners catcher Tom Murphy. With that goal so close to his grasp in the fifth inning of Monday night’s Royals-Mariners game, it’s understandable that an overexcited Ichiro suppor...
The Jets Really Biffed It On Jacob Trouba
Let’s stipulate that the Jets had to trade Jacob Trouba. The 25-year-old defenseman had made it quite clear that he had no intentions of signing an extension in Winnipeg, and the Jets had no intention of paying what it would cost to keep Trouba when he becomes an unrestricted free agent next summer—...
Matt Carpenter Beats A Marlins Shift With A Standup Bunt Double
Turns out the solo dinger he smashed in the bottom of the third inning was not the coolest thing Matt Carpenter did against the Miami Marlins Monday night, not by a long shot. With two down in the bottom of the fifth inning, the Marlins shifted their defense to the right side to face Carpenter. Carp...
Zach Sanford Barfs All Over Himself During Blues Stanley Cup Victory Parade
The 2019 Stanley Cup champion St. Louis Blues held their victory parade Saturday, celebrating the franchise’s first ever title. As is usually the case with victory parades, this event featured blissed-out sports men consuming inadvisable quantities of alcohol. Some handled it better than others—Bre...
Toronto Raptors Fans Disperse In Panic After Reports Of Shots Fired At Championship Parade
The ceremonies after today’s championship parade for the Toronto Raptors were halted this afternoon after reports of shots fired near Bay Street and Albert Street, at the southeast part of Nathan Phillips Square, where the rally was being held....
<i>Sports Illustrated</i>'s Media Operations Pawned Off To Unproven Start-Up Helmed By Longtime Media Creeps
Control of Sports Illustrated’s media operations has changed hands once again, just three weeks after the now former SI owner Meredith Corp sold the magazine’s name and licensing rights to Authentic Brands Group. Per a press release posted by Meredith and sent out to SI staffers, Sports Illustrated’...
ESPN Is Stuck With Tyson Fury As Its Hero
Tyson Fury won what was for all intents and purposes a fixed fight in his ESPN+ and Las Vegas debut on Saturday night, beating the technically “undefeated” but deeply non-threatening Tom Schwarz in a second-round TKO. Against a no-name boxer who’d never fought outside of Germany or the Czech Republi...
FOX U.S. Open Coverage Takes Time Out To Glorify How Fucked Up Carmel Is
Yesterday Gary Woodland and his MAGA-friendly spikes held off golfing Terminator Brooks Koepka and won the U.S. Open. It was a classic example of a formerly unknown player revealing himself as a bloodless, stress-proof killer over the course and spending four days fending off all comers for a first ...
Why Your Children's Television Program Sucks: <i>The Garfield Show</i>
A look at the awful children’s programming you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours. Image by Jim Cooke....
The Ultimate Warrior Is Not A Gay Pride Mascot
On Thursday afternoon, WWE ambassador and creative team member Dana Warrior, tweeted a pro-LGBTQ+ pride message, stressing that she “believe[s] in equality, education, awareness, and this simple fact: love wins... Always!!” In and of themselves, the words would be fine, but because Warrior is best k...
Clint Frazier Pays The Price For The Yankees' Talent Bloat
The New York Yankees took another important step on their quest to assemble an all-beef lineup by trading for dinger-mashing DH Edwin Encarnacion over the weekend. Once Aaron Judge and Giancarlo Stanton return to action, a lineup featuring those two, Gary Sanchez, Luke Voit, and Encarnacion is going...
O.J. Simpson Has Logged On
When an unverified Twitter account with the name TheRealOJ32 posted a video of the former, uhh, Bills running back announcing his entrance into the Twitter world, I’ll admit that I wasn’t 100% convinced that it was real. Even when I decided to quickly share it on this site, there was a small part of...