in Page 1806 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Fuck!!!!!! Shohei Ohtani Fucked Up His Fucking Arm!!!!!!
Fuck!!!!!!!!!!!...

They Already Said They Weren't Going To Go, Man
Even though LeBron James and Steph Curry had already said that neither of their teams would visit the White House if they won the NBA Finals, today Donald Trump tried to pretend like he wouldn’t have invited them anyway. Surely the basketball players will regret the opportunity to watch a septuagena...

A Dramatic Reading Of Bryan Colangelo's Resignation As GM Of The Philadelphia 76ers
Is this the stupidest thing we’ve ever put on the website? Uh, sound off in the comments I guess. I’m just really sorry about all this....

Anthony Bourdain Stood Up For Women Without Making It About Him<em></em>
Somebody gave me a copy of Kitchen Confidential shortly after I graduated from college; I wish I remembered who. I mostly subsisted on Trader Joe’s frozen meals back then, and I’m almost certain I had never heard of Anthony Bourdain....

Giants' Zak DeOssie Reported His Super Bowl Rings Stolen, Actually Left Them On Top Of His Car
Last month Zak DeOssie thought his championship rings were purloined, but a police investigation concluded that the Giants long snapper had done what many people have with coffee mugs, briefcases, and other items they forget about while getting into their car....

Alex Ovechkin's Face Said It All
“This moment...” Alexander Ovechkin started, flanked at the podium by the Stanley Cup and the Conn Smythe Trophy. He never once that I saw looked at the latter, but he kept glancing toward the big one, the one he had kissed and lofted and screamed into and shared with every single one of his teammat...

So Much Cool: My Night Among Joyous And Drunken Caps Fans<em></em>
Tomorrow is a bigass waste of time. I am a grown adult, which means that the majority of my decisions are based around tomorrow. I save money. I go to bed at a reasonable hour. I don’t do crack. Tomorrow dictates a great deal of my actions, which is a shame because today is RIGHT HERE to be celebrat...

Trump Thinking "Very Seriously" About Pardoning Muhammad Ali, Who Has No Criminal Record
Muhammad Ali’s career in the ring came to a standstill in 1967 upon the late boxer’s conviction for avoiding the Vietnam Draft by declaring himself a conscientious objector. Four years later, the U.S. Supreme Court reversed that conviction by a unanimous vote; 47 years later, Donald Trump is suggest...

The Game Clock Broke In Vegas And Caused Total Chaos
If ever you need confirmation of the theory of general relativity, just watch your team in a Stanley Cup clincher. After Lars Eller scored the go-ahead (and soon to be Cup-winning) goal with 7:37 left, time started doing funny things, depending on who you were rooting for. While those final minutes ...

And Now Let Us Bask In The Radiating Joy Of Euphoric Caps Fans
I am always up for images of sports fans celebrating a championship—the euphoria is contagious, especially when it’s a fan base that hasn’t tasted the glory of a title in a good long while. For a nice appetizer, here’s the celebration on the ice:...

An Emotional T.J. Oshie Describes Winning The Cup In Front Of Father, Suffering Dementia<em></em>
You will get absolutely nowhere if you try to keep the emotion bottled up inside while watching Caps winger T.J. Oshie talk about winning the Stanley Cup with his father in attendance. Oshie’s father is battling Alzheimer’s disease, so big joyous events they can experience together take on added imp...

The 2018 <i>Hockey Night In Canada</i> Season-Ending Montage Is Here<em></em>
Hockey is over for the summer. That sucks! Perhaps, maybe, the only thing that can get us through those lean months will be the annual masterpiece that is the Hockey Night In Canada season-ending montage, set this year to Oasis (??). Here you are....
![Champion Capitals Salute Fans, Especially The One Flashing Them Next To The Glass [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/pjkirbanczgbey2solzx.jpg)
Champion Capitals Salute Fans, Especially The One Flashing Them Next To The Glass [NSFW]
The Washington Capitals leveraged excellent teamwork on their way to claiming the Stanley Cup, and that teamwork continued as they took a lap around the arena in Las Vegas tonight, finding one, uh, nakedly enthusiastic fan showing her appreciation for the team in a not-safe-for-work way....

The Capitals Are Finally Champions
This year was different. The Washington Capitals are Stanley Cup champions....

Universe Snuffs Last Remaining Spark Of Joy, Sends Vlad Jr. To The Disabled List
In an absolute bullcrap turn of events, dear sweet masher Vladimir Guerrero Jr. was sent to the disabled list Thursday with an injured leg. Per the Toronto Sun:...

Backstrom To Ovechkin Has Never Been Bigger Or Prettier
It’s 2-1 Washington as I write this, but the goals are coming fast and furious so let’s not spend too much time on this before the score changes. (No shit, Vegas made it 2-2 before I finished writing that sentence.) But the Caps have been scoring some of the prettiest goals of the playoffs—especiall...

Ovechkin And Fleury Say Hello, With Sticks
Alexander Ovechkin’s and Marc-Andre Fleury’s playoff familiarity goes all the way back to 2009. Fleury’s side has won every single one of their series (even if he happened to be on the bench for some of that). That could change tonight, obviously. Even before puck drop, they were sending each other ...

D.C.'s Chinatown Is Sinking Under A Sea Of Red
It has been a long, long while since the last time D.C. had any reason to throw a public sports watch party. With the Caps on a run through the Stanley Cup playoffs, and the weather around town holding up beautifully, Caps watch parties, taking place inside and around the Caps’ Chinatown arena, hav...

Deadspin Up All Night: Memory's A Sacred Meat
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Eat some ice cream....

Chris Farley's Estate Settles Lawsuit Against Trek Over Fat Bike Branding
Wisconsin-based bicycle giant Trek has settled a lawsuit today with the estate of Chris Farley, who sued the bike company last year over a line of performance fat bikes that shared a name with the iconic comedian. A fat bike is essentially a mountain bike with even bigger tires, which make it easy t...