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The Sweet 16 Teams That Are Worth Rooting For
Despite what ESPN and the like would have you think, there are no Cinderellas left in this year’s NCAA tournament—the real Cinderellas were offed by programs designed to chew up teams with limited talent and depth. ...

The Wizards Need Rest More Than Anybody But Might Be Too Dumb To Take It
Here is how long the NBA season is: Long enough for the Washington Wizards to have gone from a bad team with a good starting five and an atrocious bench, to a good team with a great starting five and an atrocious bench, to a dark-horse Finals pick with a great starting five and a good bench, to a st...

Asdrubal Cabrera Got Ejected While Running To First
Spring training is a long, monotonous motherfucker, and playing meaningless games day after day appears can fry the patience of players and umps alike. During the fourth inning of a game between the Mets and the Nationals this afternoon, Asdrubal Cabrera managed to get himself ejected in the middle ...

Hector Figueroa Wants To Make The Democrats Fight Back
There is one reason why building workers in New York City can make a living wage: the Service Employees International Union’s 32BJ local. The union is the size of a small city, it’s vocal, and its president wants a wholesale reimagining of Democratic party politics in the Trump era....

Our Petulant Piss Boy President Must Be Treated Like A Baby
All journalists know that if you’re interviewing a childish little sensitive pisshead baby, you must do so very carefully, to avoid making him run out of the room crying. One of these little pisshead babies is now our president....

Lukas Podolski's Last Goal For Germany Was A Poetic Banger
In Lukas Podolski’s last appearance for Germany’s national team, the former Arsenal man, corner kick extraordinaire, and guy known for absolutely crushing the ball launched a rocket into the top right corner in the 69th minute to beat England 1-0 in the friendly. It was the perfect final goal for th...

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<em></em>Minnesota High School Basketball Player Nails One-Handed Pirouette Buzzer-Beater
Champlin Park High School came into the opening game of the Minnesota state tournament undefeated, and they left undefeated, thanks to a last-gasp buzzer-beater from senior guard Sam Dubois. The Rebels came back from an eight-point halftime hole with the help of 30 points from McKinley Wright, who m...

Humorless Dickhole Business Writer Very Upset About March Madness Pools<em></em>
As much as we here at Deadspin like to poke fun at sportswriters and political hot-take artists, the truth is that business journalists may be the lowliest scum of all. We’re all horrified by Darren Rovell, and yet there’s only ONE of him in sports. Really, that man is just a business reporter in sp...

Joel Embiid Is Probably Headed For Another Surgery
According to ESPN’s Marc Stein, Philadelphia 76ers center Joel Embiid is “very likely” to have surgery to repair a partially torn meniscus in his left knee....

Soccer Player Who Thanked Both Wife And Girlfriend After Game Digs Hole Deeper
South African Premier League player Mohammed Anas told on himself last week, when he thanked his wife and his girlfriend in a postgame interview. He has since tried to explain himself, and he didn’t do a very good job....

We Got Jim Harbaugh’s Itemized Expenses And They’re Kind Of Lame<em></em><em></em>
We all know big boy Jim Harbaugh loves a tall glass of whole milk. Questions remain. Some, like How much does he love milk? are perhaps unanswerable. Others, though, like How much does the highest-paid public employee in the state of Michigan’s milk lust cost taxpayers?, aren’t. In an attempt to fin...

Ballerina Ashley Bouder Takes On Gender Inequality One Pirouette At A Time
On stage, Ashley Bouder and Sara Mearns were dancing separately, but together. ...
![Serge Ibaka And Robin Lopez Throw Actual Punches At Each Other [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/kjizuhzyaztnme1daxqd.jpg)
Serge Ibaka And Robin Lopez Throw Actual Punches At Each Other [Update]
A chest-to-chest staring match in the NBA actually popped off into a real actual fight tonight. The Raptors and Bulls don’t like each other, and in the third quarter with the Bulls up big, Serge Ibaka and Robin Lopez got into it after Jimmy Butler nailed a jumper. Unlike most other incidents where p...

The Latest Evidence That Vince Carter Is An Ageless Wonder
Vince Carter just turned 40, yet he’s still playing 24 minutes per game for the Grizzlies and has recently joined the starting lineup as Memphis lurches down the stretch. His 18th season hasn’t been short of cool highlights, and this evening, he drained a half-court shot before casually dunking it b...

Sidney Crosby Hits Guy In The Dick, Scores Incredible One-Handed Goal
In the opening minutes of the Pittsburgh Penguins game against the Buffalo Sabres, Sidney Crosby whacked Ryan O’Reilly right in the dick and balls with a casual nonchalance that would make Draymond proud. Seeing how O’Reilly crumpled to the ice, though, this didn’t look like much of a love tap:...

LeBron Tells LaVar Ball To Fall Back
One of the many outlandish claims that Lonzo Ball’s dad LaVar made on his recent press tour to proclaim the supreme basketball ability of his three sons was that his kids were set up for success in the NBA more than LeBron’s two sons. Specifically, Ball said that LeBron’s sons aren’t primed for NBA ...

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