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The Titanic Of Failed Hookup Stories [Very NSFW]
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Meet Timur Bekmambetov, The Loony Madman Behind <em>Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter</em>
Timur Bekmambetov, the director of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, might be insane. I don't mean that as an insult. The man behind Night Watch, Day Watch, and Wanted isn't interested in nuance or character or plot or basic human emotions. Watching his movies, you get the sense that he doesn't spend...

Something Good Happened To The Knicks!
I think it's fair to say no one understands how NBA contracts and salary cap rules work. That's why ESPN hires a guy solely for the purpose of answering obscure questions about it. But a strange situation involving Jeremy Lin and Steve Novak, a situation we really would have expected to come up some...

Fewer Threes, More Post: How LeBron James Completely Overhauled His Playoff Game
Unlike last year, LeBron James dominated the 2012 playoffs like the best basketball player in the world. We asked Kirk Goldsberry, of the indispensable CourtVision, what was different about James's postseason play this time around. ...

Why Was David Stern Sitting Next To One Of Rupert Murdoch's Sons Last Night?
James, as you may already know, is Rupert Murdoch's youngest son. He also is entangled in that whole phone-hacking mess in London....

LeBron James: World Champion Cocksucker
I know that last night was supposed to be LeBron James's face turn and that, while he warmly celebrates his first title with teammates and family, I'm supposed to see LeBron in a whole new light. Maybe he's not such a bad guy. Maybe this playoff run has brought out a depth of character heretofore un...

J.R. Smith's Chinese Team Says He Skipped Nearly Every Single Practice
J.R. Smith couldn't get out of his CBA contract when the NBA lockout ended, but he sure as hell could make life as miserable as possible for his employers. Smith's sister sparked a pair of brawls with opposing fans (Stephanie Smith said of the second fight that she didn't start it "this time.") And ...

No, A Referee Did Not High-Five Erik Spoelstra During Last Night's Game
I counted more than 500 tweets alleging a referee high-fived Erik Spoelstra after a Mike Miller three-pointer to open the fourth quarter last night. That was only a few minutes afterward, so there've likely been another few hundred since. So let's set the record straight: there was no high-five. Th...

Kevin Durant's Post-Game Tears Are Sad, Chilling
While the Heat celebrated their second NBA championship on the court, Kevin Durant's private-turned-public moment caught plenty of attention as tears streamed down the Thunder star's face as he hugged his mother....

LeBron James Wins First Of Not Two, Not Three, Not Four, Not Five, Not Six, Not Seven NBA Titles
The final score of 121-106 will be forever misleading to history, but there was a point in Game 5 of these NBA Finals where it didn't seem so impossible that the Thunder might mount some significant comeback, forcing the series back to Oklahoma City for what was certain to be a dramatic and tense ...

The Los Angeles Kings Have Lost The Stanley Cup-Winning Puck
No one could blame the Los Angeles Kings for losing track of anything in the immediate delirium that accompanies the clinching of the franchise's first Stanley Cup, but if there's one thing you're going to want to keep dibs on in the aftermath, it would be the whereabouts of the final puck. Now, it ...

Deadspin Up All Night: Tear It Up
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Erik in a few....

The Bobcats Called Mike Dunlap First
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: He was as surprised as you are!...

-8½. Woody Allen's <em>To Rome With Love</em>, Reviewed.
1. One of my favorite Roger Ebert quotes goes like this: "The Muse visits during the act of creation, not before. Don't wait for her. Start alone." That's to say: To create great work, you must first work. Not everything you create will be perfect; in fact, most of it won't be. But you can't wait fo...

Know Your RedTube, And Other Advice: The Dadspin Guide To Internet Parenting
I have three children, the oldest of whom is web literate. She can work a mouse. She can open Chrome. She can type. And she can Google shit, which is terrifying because you never know when Google Image Search will decide to hand you an image of a big hairy penis, even if you're using the default MOD...

Juwan Howard And The Triumph Of The Superteam
Once upon a time, a group of gifted basketball players decided to join forces to dominate their sport. They were as talented as they were hyped, and they ushered in an era of style and scoring, a blueprint for superteams to come. But a funny thing happened: Winning wasn't as easy on the court as it ...

Better Know An Umpire: Marvin Hudson
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. (All cumulative statistics are through the 2011 season, unless otherwise stated.)...

Plaxico Burress Wants To Play For The Panthers. The Panthers Do Not Want Plaxico Burress To Play For The Panthers.
Who wants a possibly washed-up wide receiver on the wrong side of 35 and still carrying plenty of baggage? Burress didn't actually have a bad season with the Jets, his first post-prison. It was just underwhelming, with major drops in catches, yards and scores—and football players are not one of thos...

Aroldis Chapman's Stripper Friend Charged With Lying To Cops About That Bizarre Hotel Room Robbery
That weird story about a robbery in Aroldis Chapman's Pittsburgh hotel room three weeks ago only got weirder when the woman found tied up in the room couldn't get her story straight. Claudia Manrique is a 26-year-old stripper Chapman began dating in April who "would meet him in other cities where th...

If You're In New York City Tonight, Go Listen To Some Fine Writers Praise And Scorn The Yankees
This month's edition of Gelf's terrific Varsity Letters reading series brings together Rob Fleder (he edited Damn Yankees, in which this appeared), Steve Rushin, and our man Alex Belth (who profiled George Kimball here in December), and, if you so choose, you, dear reader! 7:30 p.m. tonight at Pacif...