in Page 3248 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Joey Votto's New Contract Is Like A Mortgage-Backed Security
Reds first baseman Joey Votto officially signed a big contract extension today. A big, honking deal: 10 years, $225 million, on top of the two years and $26 million the Reds already promised him for 2012 and 2013. There's an option year for 2024....

Shitting While Skydiving: A Physics Experiment
I apologize for not posting yesterday's Funbag on time. Due to various circumstances, you only get a half Funbag today, and I may have to work a limited schedule this month. But fear not: Everything will be back to normal soon. If by normal, you mean talking about hypothetical superpowers and poopin...

Better Know An Umpire: Jerry Meals
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. ...

Rain Delay Theater: An All-Mississippi Faceoff
Southern Miss and Ole Miss were to meet in a neutral field matchup at the Braves' minor league park in Pearl, Miss. last night, until the rains came. The delay lasted for more than 90 minutes before being called off, giving both teams plenty of time to entertain themselves and the crowd....

Nice Of Marlins Park To Include A Bobblehead Hall Of Nightmares
Lost in all the other wonderful features, like the fish and the home run sculpture and the fact that Marlins Park is actually really nice is something called the Bobblehead Museum. No need to come to Little Havana to see it—it'll come to you in your nightmares....

Science! Simulates The Kentucky Wildcats Vs. The Washington Wizards
Paul Bessire runs PredictionMachine.com and created the Predictalator, the most advanced sports forecasting software available today. The technology has the ability to account for all of the statistical interactions of the players, coaches, officials, and fans (homefield advantage) in each game. The...

Robert Griffin III Celebrates His Last Winning Moment In A Long Time
We're not really sure why RGIII got to climb the ladder to cut the nets after Baylor's women's basketball team beat Notre Dame in last night's NCAA title game. Must have been the important role he played in the Lady Bears' victory....

Better Know An Umpire: Bob Davidson
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. ...

Designated Shitters: Help Deadspin Plumb The Secrets Of MLB Restrooms
From Fenway to Camden Yards to Marlins Park, baseball is defined by the built environment. We've already surveyed the big picture. Now it's time to explore the depths. We're looking for photos and stories to build an online guide to the restrooms of Major League Baseball—the Yelp of plop, you might ...

Report: The Vikings Are Trying To Hire Bill Parcells
Oh, you thought Bill Parcells was going to babysit the Saints for a year? Not if Zygi Wilf gets his way, says the New York Post:...

Everyone Trying To Undermine Bobby Valentine
Beyond Lester, Beckett and Buchholz, the Red Sox rotation was up in the air. Would it be Daniel Bard, once the closer-in-waiting, now being stretched out to be a starter? Alfredo Aceves, the Yankees cast-off who can start, relieve or close? A guy named Felix Doubront? This being the Red Sox, and thi...

Lebanese Basketball Player Has Career Night, Scores 106 Points Above His Season Average
Mohammad El Akkari is a guard for Moutahed, Tripoli, in Lebanon's Division A League Final 8. He scored 113 points in Tuesday's 173-141 victory against Bejjeh, Jbeil—a slight improvement over his season average of 7.6 points per game. Akkari was 40 of 69 from the field, including 32 of 59 from 3-poin...

Better Know An Umpire: Tim Tschida
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year....

Martin Kaymer Holed Out His Attempt To Skip Across Augusta's Pond At The 16th Hole
It's a tradition during practice rounds at Augusta to attempt to skip a drive across the pond on the 16th hole, and German pro Martin Kaymer not only achieved that feat, but did it one better by actually holing the shot out. We've been on a mad search for good video of this since hearing about it ...

Donald Driver Allegedly Had To Restrain Jaleel White When Urkel Went Nuts On <em>Dancing With The Stars</em>
Dancing With The Stars producers who thought they were getting Urkel got a bit more Stefan than they were counting on as Jaleel White allegedly snapped when he stepped on his partner's foot leading to an altercation in which fellow DWTS competitor (and Packers WR) Donald Driver intervened....

We Asked A Pro Wrestler To Weigh In On This Ditch Fight With A Big-Time Flying Kick
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fight: "FIGHT like a BOSS ! Kampfsprung like a BOSS!" Tonight's commentator: Cory Kastle, a pro wrestler exploring his comedic chops during an extended hiatus from the ring on acco...

Deadspin Up All Night: It's All Begun
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Give Erik a moment to take his coat off and get settled in....

Better Know An Umpire: Phil Cuzzi
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year....

Annals Of Bullshit: The Myth Of The Myth Of Cal Ripken's Historic Home Run
Twenty years ago, Oriole Park at Camden Yards brought in an era of fake history in baseball architecture. So it fits that The Baltimore Sun's roundup of the park's greatest moments would feature fake history too. For the No. 1 moment, baseball beat reporter Dan Connolly described the night Cal Ripke...

The Ever-Inflating Joe Flacco: "I Think I'm The Best"
It was only back in January, on the eve of his fourth postseason appearance in as many seasons, that Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco demanded a little credit for being a playoff quarterback. Baltimore subsequently defeated Houston before losing to New England, thus keeping Flacco's reputation solidly ...